# Is using an elevator that fucking hard? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 14, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035 "2009-04-14T04:25:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/21 "2009-04-14T08:42:37Z")
> [@yams](#): > > According to a guy who lives in my building, a gentleman is to precede a lady “in events which may lead to assault or plummeting.” One extremely cold day, one elevator in an oldish Wall Street building where I used to work decided to frighteningly malfunction. My co-workers and I were heading up to the 30th floor, when all of a sudden something in the mechanism slipped and the elevator plunged two or three stories before coming to a halt. “Holy shit, we’re stuck in here,” said one of my cohorts. “We can’t possibly be stuck,” I observed, “because nobody in here is pregnant.” I then turned to my female boss and offered, “unless you have an announcement to make.” So soothing were my words that the combined annoyed glare of my boss and fellow passengers immediately restored the car to working condition, allowing us to disembark. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/22 "2009-04-14T08:55:56Z")
Rule number 3 is expired as it is now the 21st century. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/23 "2009-04-14T11:33:21Z")
Why should I turn off my iPod? We’re not supposed to be talking in there, so why the hell should I have to listen to your breathing? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/24 "2009-04-14T12:47:07Z")
1. Make sure you stare wide-eyed directly and unblinkingly into the eyes of one of your elevator mates, with no smile, and extra bonus points if you can work up a trickle of sweat dripping down the side of your face – maybe nervously tap your foot or chew a fingernail as well. We don’t want people becoming too complacent in the work place. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/25 "2009-04-14T13:00:45Z")
> [@Mongoose1546](#): > > 1. When boarding an elevator, please fill from back to front. No. If you are getting off on the second floor (i.e. if one of the following is true: 1)the building’s stairwells are locked down, 2)you are physically handicapped, or 3)you are a lazy lump), resist your compulsion to disturb everyone else once on your way in and again on your way out. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/26 "2009-04-14T13:02:46Z")
Ever been tempted to create and put up an elevator schedule? I would love to see how many people wouldn’t push the button and just wait for the next one.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/27 "2009-04-14T13:17:46Z")
> [@Mongoose1546](#): > > 1. No personal grooming which includes, but is not limited to, applying make-up or checking/primping your hair in the shiny surface inside the elevator. When you do, that very same shiny surface allows EVERYBODY on the elevator to see you preening like a 50 year old bar fly. You look unbelievably stupid. But women primping and applying make-up is one of my turn-ons! Why do you want to take that away from me? (50-year-old bar flies, too. Giggity.) ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/28 "2009-04-14T13:21:52Z")
“Vestibule”? Who the hell uses the word “vestibule” these days? Are you a vicar posting from an abbey? ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/29 "2009-04-14T13:28:41Z")
Emily Post says that the elevator is a vehicle and that gentlemen get out of the vehicle first, the better to help the ladies. Sigmagirl says get out of the fucking elevator. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/30 "2009-04-14T13:53:34Z")
> [@Munch](#): > > “Vestibule”? Who the hell uses the word “vestibule” these days? Are you a vicar posting from an abbey? It’s used on our train line for the entryway in the middle of each car, separated from the compartments by inner doors. Not sure what part of a building I’d apply it to, however. Elevator etiquette at work - I work in a medical center, and it’s polite to allow a superior or a patient (who all of us employees work for in a very real sense) off the elevator first, assuming it does not mess with other people’s comfort or delay the departure of the elevator. So as a woman I do find it a tad annoying to be (essentially) shooed off the elevator first but I understand that some people are doing it to be polite. I’m just trying to be polite, too! I wouldn’t get my nose out of joint over it, however. The person in example 11 needs to be barred from elevator usage if they regularly hit 3 buttons instead of 1. Either that or the occupants need to hurl themselves in front of the button panel when that person is entering, and then sweetly ask, “What floor?” ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/31 "2009-04-14T13:58:18Z")
I make it a practice to say Hello to a stranger in an elevator about twice a week. No commitment to lifelong friendship; just acknowledging that we’re both human beings. However, after extensive testing, I don’t reccommend random humorous comments, as they will fall to the floor like a dying baby seal, twisting and bleeding and whimpering. My only issue is with the blankity blank cell phone conversatoins. WTF, dude? Was she really so bad that you have to share why you dumped her with an elevator full of strangers? You don’t get a Hello from me. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/32 "2009-04-14T14:05:19Z")
Okay, so now that we’ve eliminated rule 11, am I adding rule 13 now? Does friedo’s rule count? Whatever, here’s another rule. I’ll call it rule 27. 1. People who take the elevator from the first floor to the second floor must either a) submit proof of injury, or b) fuck off. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/33 "2009-04-14T14:22:33Z")
4a) If you’re getting off at one of the lower floors, do not rush into the elevator so you’re standing at the back, forcing everybody to move around so you can get out. Let other people get in first so you can be standing by the door when the elevator gets to your floor. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/34 "2009-04-14T14:31:35Z")
> [@Mongoose1546](#): > > 1. Once the elevator does arrive, don’t stand directly in front of the doors. Allow the people that are on the elevator to exit first **THEN** proceed calmly into the elevator. Thank you for this. It seems like every time I’m at the mall pushing my son in his stroller I push the call button and then step back about 6 feet. Because when that elevator arrives, and people want to get off, well, they need somewhere to go you know? And it never fails that some moron will arrive, push the already lit button, and stand between me and the elevator door. ---
**Author:** ![chromaticity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@chromaticity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chromaticity)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/35 "2009-04-14T14:38:46Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I then turned to my female boss and offered, “unless you have an announcement to make.” Hah! This had me laughing for a while! Usually if Im the first in the elevator and I am getting off before the others (Its a small building I know almost everyones floor), I stick to the front left/right. It seems dickish getting to the back, and then pushing your way out after a few seconds. And one more thing, No strong perfumes! They make me sneeze, and its horrible holding it in till I can get off. ---
**Author:** ![RitterSport](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rittersport/32/6326_2.png) [@RitterSport](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitterSport)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/36 "2009-04-14T14:43:30Z")
> [@Mongoose1546](#): > > 1. If you are waiting for an elevator, it does NOT matter how many fucking times you press the button, the elevator will not arrive any earlier. No, but wouldn’t it be cool if it did? Say, a 10% increase in elevator speed every time you press the button? Then, people would come out looking all disheveled saying, “please don’t do that again! Just wait!” Anyway, I want to add: 1. If the elevator doors are closing, wait for the next one. It’s not like a subway where they will be 25 minutes apart, at least in any reasonably modern office building. On our elevators, the doors are pretty good about closing right after a few people get in and press buttons, but if an arm gets in the way, it’s like the elevators say “whoa, that was close. I have to wait a minute to settle down – I nearly took that guy’s arm off”, or, “hey, you’re in a rush? now, I’m going to make you wait even longer.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/37 "2009-04-14T14:45:38Z")
> [@groo](#): > > My only issue is with the blankity blank cell phone conversatoins. WTF, dude? Was she really so bad that you have to share why you dumped her with an elevator full of strangers? You don’t get a Hello from me. This is self-regulating behaviour, as most elevators have terrible cell phone reception. However, in the worst case it may cause the person to just yell all the louder. As for the second floor: if you’re getting off on the second floor, you should go to the end of the line, so you get in last, the better to get off first (unless you’re in a wheelchair, in which case others should work around you – no fair using this power for evil rather than good). ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/38 "2009-04-14T14:46:58Z")
While I agree with most of your points, blow me. I’ll do it the way I want. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/39 "2009-04-14T14:59:48Z")
Rule 29: If you are in an elevator with at least one other person and it becomes stuck between floors for more than one minute, do not wonder aloud about which individual should be eaten first. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/40 "2009-04-14T15:16:02Z")
**Mongoose1546** , when your list of rules gets this long, it’s a signal that you’re the one with the problem here. Take a pill. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035.md?page=3)