# Is using an elevator that fucking hard? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 14, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035 "2009-04-14T04:25:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/121 "2009-05-10T11:58:53Z")
Most of my life is lived lift/elevator free but is it possible to sneak in a similar gripe? Am I too late? Opps I pushed the button already. šŸ™‚ Escalators! GRRRRR !!! Escalators are STAIRS designed to move everyone smoothly. YES they move BUT they do not mean the moment your feet touch them YOU SHOULD STOP FUCKING MOVING! I can deal with people pushing buttons for wrong floors on lifts but people who refuse to walk on escalatorsā€¦welllā€¦ummā€¦well, lets just say everytime I am behind you and you are standing there like a statue, in my mind you DIE. Just walk you lazy arsehole, the stairs are moving, how far can you have to move? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2009, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/122 "2009-05-10T13:57:53Z")
> [@calm\_kiwi](#): > > Most of my life is lived lift/elevator free but is it possible to sneak in a similar gripe? > > Am I too late? Opps I pushed the button already. šŸ™‚ > > Escalators! GRRRRR !!! > > Escalators are STAIRS designed to move everyone smoothly. YES they move BUT they do not mean the moment your feet touch them YOU SHOULD STOP FUCKING MOVING! > > I can deal with people pushing buttons for wrong floors on lifts but people who refuse to walk on escalatorsā€¦welllā€¦ummā€¦well, lets just say everytime I am behind you and you are standing there like a statue, in my mind you DIE. > > Just walk you lazy arsehole, the stairs are moving, how far can you have to move? Believe it or not, there are people with bad knees who are taking the escalators instead of the stairs because **walking up or down stairs hurts**. Yes, I may not have been visibly limping on the way to the escalator but that doesnā€™t mean Iā€™m not walking up or down the escalator because Iā€™m lazy. And BTW, in my case at least walking down stairs actually hurts more than walking up them. And before anyone says it, I always stand on the right side of an escalator so that, if the escalator is wide enough, people can get pass me on the left. ---
**Author:** ![Lungfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d78d45/32.png) [@Lungfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lungfish)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/123 "2009-05-10T14:26:49Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > #427a: Make sure to face away from the door. Ensure that eye contact is made with an individual rider. Maintain eye contact until the other party breaks. Repeat this process until you have established dominance over every person in the elevator. As soon as this occurs, slam the button for the next floor. When the elevator doors open, back out of the elevator slowly, while pointing accusingly at the group still in the elevator. Maintain this until the doors close. If you did this for real there is a possibility that when you leave the lift, sorry, elevator the other occupants would be facing away from the door with their backs to you: [Elevator Psychology](http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3434714271274189234) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/124 "2009-05-10T22:08:49Z")
There are more rules for using an elevator than god needed to run all of human civilization? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/125 "2009-05-10T23:11:20Z")
> [@](#): > > Escalators are STAIRS designed to move everyone smoothly. YES they move BUT they do not mean the moment your feet touch them YOU SHOULD STOP FUCKING MOVING! > > I can deal with people pushing buttons for wrong floors on lifts but people who refuse to walk on escalatorsā€¦welllā€¦ummā€¦well, lets just say everytime I am behind you and you are standing there like a statue, in my mind you DIE. > > Just walk you lazy arsehole, the stairs are moving, how far can you have to move? Actually, yes, once a person gets on an escalator he should STOP MOVING. For one thing, itā€™s quite possible that the person has bad knees, or bad hips, or something else that hurts to move. But mostly people shouldnā€™t walk on escalators because itā€™s dangerous. You could trip and fall, and thatā€™s no joke on a moving stairway. People can and do get mutilated when parts of their body get caught in an escalator. If you brush up against someone, especially someone who has balance issues, then you could cause them to fall. Iā€™ve been bumped unexpectedly on solid ground by someone who is in a rush to get somewhere and doesnā€™t look where heā€™s going, and because I have balance issues, Iā€™ve fallen. It was completely accidental, but I still had a hard time getting up. And these accidents all happened on level ground. If Iā€™d been on an escalator in front of someone who was trying to get past meā€¦it probably wouldnā€™t have been pretty. So calm down. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/126 "2009-05-11T05:56:58Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Actually, yes, once a person gets on an escalator he should STOP MOVING. For one thing, itā€™s quite possible that the person has bad knees, or bad hips, or something else that hurts to move. > > But mostly people shouldnā€™t walk on escalators because itā€™s dangerous. You could trip and fall, and thatā€™s no joke on a moving stairway. People can and do get mutilated when parts of their body get caught in an escalator. If you brush up against someone, especially someone who has balance issues, then you could cause them to fall. Iā€™ve been bumped unexpectedly on solid ground by someone who is in a rush to get somewhere and doesnā€™t look where heā€™s going, and because I have balance issues, Iā€™ve fallen. It was completely accidental, but I still had a hard time getting up. And these accidents all happened on level ground. If Iā€™d been on an escalator in front of someone who was trying to get past meā€¦it probably wouldnā€™t have been pretty. > > So calm down. I agree with **Calm Kiwi** , actually. Unlike the US (where it seems 108% of the population has some kind of disability that prevents them from doing any of the things that normal human beings in the rest of the world manage to do without a second thought), in NZ, Australia, and the UK (well, OK, London Tube stations), it is widely accepted that you do _not_ stop moving on an escalator, or, if you must (heavy groceries, on the phone, whatever) you stand to one side to let the people who are still moving get past. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/127 "2009-05-11T07:02:13Z")
> [@](#): > > ii. refrain from inappropriate discussions Elevators are really the best time for little one-liners to your mate. Thatā€™s when I turn to **Zeldar** and ask ā€œSo how did you come out on that morals charge?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/128 "2009-05-11T08:18:43Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Elevators are really the best time for little one-liners to your mate. Thatā€™s when I turn to **Zeldar** and ask ā€œSo how did you come out on that morals charge?ā€ šŸ˜› To which the correct reply is ā€œOh that thing? I blackmailed my way out of it of course!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/129 "2009-05-11T10:53:11Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > 1. People who take the elevator from the first floor to the second floor must either a) submit proof of injury, or b) fuck off. Itā€™s not just the 2nd floor. Thereā€™s actually a sliding scale depending on the physical fitness of the rider and the degree to which the elevator is crowded. At either extreme ā€“ either an elevator with no one else in it or a passenger who is elderly, obese, injured, or otherwise infirm ā€“ then a ride to the 2nd floor is fine. Meanwhile, a healthy 35 year old woman is evil for riding a somewhat crowded elevator to the 2nd floor but not the 3rd. All the way on the other end of the scale, if the elevators are so backed up that everyone has to get in line and wait for either 2nd or 3rd lift, then a 21 year old male in great shape is pretty much an asshole if he doesnā€™t walk up to the 6th or 7th floor. There are other potential variables, but thatā€™s the basic framework. You can read more about it in my upcoming book, _Judging Others On Minutia: A Field-Guide for the 21st Century_. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/130 "2009-05-11T11:41:53Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > In the (Japanese) building where I work, the only kind of elevator douchbaggery is when the elevator arrives carrying its payload of passangers, and then no one gets out, because they have to come to some kind of consenus first about who is the most senior person. This shit would drive me up a wall. In the military we had the same bullshit, but first of all the ranking officers knew enough to not sweat it when someone accidentally violated one of the niceties, and second of all everyone always wore their rank on their shoulders so you knew who was senior. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/131 "2009-05-11T14:28:55Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > I hesitate to post thisā€¦but when I was a teenage girl, I read a magazine article that said to layer oneā€™s fragrances. I wear Opium perfume. According to this article, I should be wearing Opium dusting powder, Opium cologne, and then Opium perfume all at once. I should also soak a couple of cotton balls in Opium, and tuck one in the cleavage of my bra, and one in my purseā€¦ You forgot shower gel and body lotion. I also use Opium, among others, and I find body lotion is more than enough fragrance. To use all would knock out the olfactories of half the suburb. ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/132 "2009-05-11T16:39:12Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Itā€™s not just the 2nd floor. Thereā€™s actually a sliding scale depending on the physical fitness of the rider and the degree to which the elevator is crowded. At either extreme ā€“ either an elevator with no one else in it or a passenger who is elderly, obese, injured, or otherwise infirm ā€“ then a ride to the 2nd floor is fine. Meanwhile, a healthy 35 year old woman is evil for riding a somewhat crowded elevator to the 2nd floor but not the 3rd. All the way on the other end of the scale, if the elevators are so backed up that everyone has to get in line and wait for either 2nd or 3rd lift, then a 21 year old male in great shape is pretty much an asshole if he doesnā€™t walk up to the 6th or 7th floor. > > There are other potential variables, but thatā€™s the basic framework. You can read more about it in my upcoming book, _Judging Others On Minutia: A Field-Guide for the 21st Century_. Your location says Manhattan so it shouldnā€™t come as a surprise that in many buildings the stairway doors are locked. I would love to take the five flights of stairs where I work but I canā€™t. So to you and the others who get angry about this, just know that I am not taking the stairs from 5th to 6th floor because I WANT TO. Iā€™m taking the the elevator because I HAVE TO. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/133 "2009-05-11T19:14:52Z")
> [@](#): > > 1. Once you have secured your spot in the elevator, please: > > a. Tell the person on your cell phone to hold or end the damn call. Are you serious? I should interrupt my call because, what, the 20th century was to much for you? You canā€™t handle being reminded that youā€™re in the 21st? Cell phones are a fact of life, get used to them. Unless the person using it is likewise technophobic, and feels the need to yell into the phone like itā€™s a combat walkie talkie, let it go! ---
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2009, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/134 "2009-05-11T19:29:02Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Are you serious? I should interrupt my call because, what, the 20th century was to much for you? You canā€™t handle being reminded that youā€™re in the 21st? > > Cell phones are a fact of life, get used to them. Unless the person using it is likewise technophobic, and feels the need to yell into the phone like itā€™s a combat walkie talkie, let it go! Yes. If you are capable of conducting your conversation in a low tone then fine. Talking loudly in an confined space is doucebag behavior of the first order. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/135 "2009-05-12T03:39:20Z")
> [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > Your location says Manhattan so it shouldnā€™t come as a surprise that in many buildings the stairway doors are locked. I would love to take the five flights of stairs where I work but I canā€™t. > > So to you and the others who get angry about this, just know that I am not taking the stairs from 5th to 6th floor because I WANT TO. Iā€™m taking the the elevator because I HAVE TO. Bah! You could climb up the outside of the building. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/136 "2009-05-12T06:38:04Z")
> [@Rack-a-Bones](#): > > Your location says Manhattan so it shouldnā€™t come as a surprise that in many buildings the stairway doors are locked. I would love to take the five flights of stairs where I work but I canā€™t. Sure, like I said, there are sometimes other variables. I mostly had in mind apartment buildings, actually, where Iā€™ve never known the stairs to be locked. In office buildings, the sliding scale only applies if the stairs are open and not \*that \*much harder to get to than the elevator. ---
**Author:** ![spinky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@spinky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spinky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/137 "2009-05-12T07:07:57Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > in NZ, Australia, and the UK (well, OK, London Tube stations), it is widely accepted that you do _not_ stop moving on an escalator ā€¦ Oh, come on. Youā€™re just making stuff up. That hasnā€™t been my experience at all, and it took me 30 seconds to find two nice videos of London Underground escalators chock-full of people just standing still. [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt26HYLUxpk) [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdsU1H6Ndb4) ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/138 "2009-05-12T07:42:33Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > Oh, come on. Youā€™re just making stuff up. That hasnā€™t been my experience at all, and it took me 30 seconds to find two nice videos of London Underground escalators chock-full of people just standing still. [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt26HYLUxpk) [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdsU1H6Ndb4) Hey, my experience the last time I was in the UK was simple: Keep moving on the escalator or get out of the way of the people that were. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/139 "2009-05-12T09:35:30Z")
> [@ntucker](#): > > Oh, come on. Youā€™re just making stuff up. That hasnā€™t been my experience at all, and it took me 30 seconds to find two nice videos of London Underground escalators chock-full of people just standing still. [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt26HYLUxpk) [example](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdsU1H6Ndb4) Nah heā€™s not - generally speaking we do keep moving on escalators - not everybody and not all the time, but we donā€™t turn to stone. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035/140 "2009-05-12T09:51:54Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Hey, my experience the last time I was in the UK was simple: Keep moving on the escalator or get out of the way of the people that were. Stand on the right, move on the left. This is as it should be. The only time traffic stops on the left is if a) a foreigner canā€™t read the ā€œSTAND ON THE RIGHTā€ signs that are every 5 metres, or b) if itā€™s so crowded that the egress points prevent people walking off quickly enough. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-using-an-elevator-that-fucking-hard/493035.md?page=8)