You’ve cherry picked a phrase from an article in isolation. There’s no real way to comment on the meaning of that without the original context, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to think you’ve misunderstood it.
You are never going to understand Zen or Buddhism intellectually. No one is or could. They are meant to be experiential and experimental. They are directions on how to reach certain states. There are not, in fact, “answers” to koans in the manner that you suggest. Because the point of the koan is not to solve a riddle, but to practice thinking a certain way. The answers that you speak of are just external ways of monitoring the process. Seeing the process in an academic way would be like thinking taking a photo means you understand drawing because the result is technically more accurate, or that the numbers which represent your blood pressure are the goal, rather than what they represent and their context, or that writing down the “correct” blood pressure means anything at all in the absence of a real measurement.
I think again, you are caught up in the mistake of the confusion which comes from not recognizing the difference between how words are used in lay contexts versus specialist contexts, particularly ones which are based in other languages and have no direct translation.
Things like “desire” don’t refer to quite the same thing as we mean in everyday conversation. And that’s kind of the whole point. Suffering is caused by the way we misconceive our experience and our reactions. And language is part of the problem. It’s useful for giving instructions for actions one can take to make having an experience or understanding more likely. But it simply cannot create or describe that experience or understanding by itself.
Another mistake you seem to be making is black and white thinking. That if something is not a certain way, then there is some single default alternative which then must by necessity be the answer.
The fact is, value and meaning are complex and nuanced ideas. Recognising that they involve subjectivity is just the first step of very many towards having a real understanding of them and their potential.
In particular, I want to point out what should be the obvious fallacy of assigning a negative value to meaninglessness, even in the unsophisticated way you portrayed it. Even ignoring the fact that erasing external value still leaves plenty of territory in existence, just logically it should be clear how the absence of good and bad cannot be bad.
If you feel depressed about nihilism, then you don’t really believe or understand it. The same goes for any other subjective philosophy.
In terms of the “not worth it”, without context we can’t be sure what was meant. I am guessing it meant not that because things have no intrinsic value that everything is pointless, but instead that because value is internal and nuanced and somewhat subjective, one can let go of negative attachments and just enjoy things in a more natural and aware way.
Think of it this way:
The bad news: no one gives a shit
The good news: no one gives a shit
The most objective value/meaning tends to resemble a sort of freedom.
And again, these things are pointers to understanding, not the understanding itself. You’re not going to understand love or colors by reading about them. But if you take certain actions, and surround yourself with people who have experienced these things, you might too.