# Is your birthday a Big Deal to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 16, 2025, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139 "2025-08-16T15:26:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/1 "2025-08-16T15:26:23Z")
Like, does it matter to you if casual friends/co-workers say Happy Birthday to you? Does your family/friends do some kind of special celebration? Anything from “just have a cake with supper that day” to full on parties with hired decor and crowds? Do you have a ‘special’ menu you always have? Would you be miffed if your Significant Others forgot completely? Has your attitude towards the whole thing evolved over time? Like, obviously it really matters to six year old, but by 60? Eh, you’re just happy you’re still breathing? ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/2 "2025-08-16T15:28:29Z")
No. I don’t even inform my coworkers when it’s my birthday. I just don’t like the attention. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/3 "2025-08-16T15:33:40Z")
Not since I was a child. My 80th will likely be a bit of a shocker, but I have two years to prepare for that. It will mean that I made it farther than both parents and both siblings. If I’m still healthy at that point, it may be cause for celebration. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/4 "2025-08-16T15:39:54Z")
I don’t have my birthday on any social media, and don’t really care. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/5 "2025-08-16T15:43:31Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > I don’t even inform my coworkers when it’s my birthday. I just don’t like the attention. Ditto, but in recent years, the word got out. I’ve taken to managing it by bringing in my own cake and directing would-be celebrants to go get a piece. That’s all people really want anyway. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/6 "2025-08-16T15:46:55Z")
No. My birthday is close to my wife’s and our anniversary, so we often do a dinner out or long weekend for the whole series of unfortunate events. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/7 "2025-08-16T15:50:46Z")
Hadn’t paid any attention to my birthday since my 21st, but my wife thought that fifty was a big deal, so we went out to dinner that afternoon. Since then, we go out to dinner every time one of us has a birthday, with the birthday person (wife, one of our kids, or me) choosing the restaurant. We still buy birthday presents for the younger generation, but not for each other, and the last actual birthday party was while I was on deployment in '03. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/8 "2025-08-16T15:54:25Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > My birthday is close to my wife’s and our anniversary, so we often do a dinner out or long weekend for the whole series of unfortunate events. Had a friend whose birthday was right between her anniversary on the 21st and Xmas, so she celebrated her “half-birthday”, on 23 June, instead. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/9 "2025-08-16T16:01:31Z")
Never has been, never will be, and I’ve had 70 so far. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/10 "2025-08-16T16:04:33Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Hadn’t paid any attention to my birthday since my 21s I haven’t done one since 18. Whether you’re young & presumably want more or old & want less; whether you’re rich or poor we all get exactly one per year, no one gets more no one gets less. You get one whether you do anything or not. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/11 "2025-08-16T16:10:03Z")
I don’t want a party or presents or fuss, but I do want my husband and daughter to acknowledge the day. My sibs usually send an email and that’s nice. But I’m _looooooong_ past the days of my grandmother sticking $5 in a card. I’ve had 2 surprise parties, one in high school and the other maybe 35 years ago. Both were mostly embarrassing and awkward. It’s not like I make any special efforts to live another year, beyond taking care of myself. Of course, I won’t turn down any chocolate love offerings… ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/12 "2025-08-16T16:13:15Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > No. > > I don’t even inform my coworkers when it’s my birthday. I just don’t like the attention. +1. I couldn’t have said it better and/or more concisely. I’ll add though that several times over the years that to whatever extent a “big deal” has been made ( and were also pleasant and rewarding to me ) were always at the request of others. ---
**Author:** ![Trieste](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Trieste](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trieste)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/13 "2025-08-16T16:14:16Z")
I stopped caring about my birthday when I hit my 20’s (I’m 66 now) My wife and daughter still like to celebrate theirs and I celebrate for them. She will ask me about mine every year but I think she is finally getting the picture…. T ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/14 "2025-08-16T16:21:26Z")
No - just another day. In fact, as much as I dislike talking on the phone, I’d prefer that my kids/sibs not call me. A text is fine. Cards are just paper to be recycled. Our 40th anniversary is tomorrow. We were planning on going out to dinner, but we got invited to watch the Chicago air show from a niece’s roof. SO that will be nice. (and HOT!) ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/15 "2025-08-16T16:27:33Z")
I like to be greeted with a quiet and sincere “Happy Birthday” on the day, but otherwise that’s as big a deal as I want. I take the opportunity to make what _I_ want for dinner, though. My brother ruined a surprise birthday party our mom threw for him by having a fit when he walked through the door - he was kind of a control freak and didn’t like surprises. I knew it was a big disappointment for Mom (although she should have known how he’d react), so I told my wife that if my mom wanted to throw me a surprise party for a significant age - I think it was 50 - I wouldn’t explode as my brother did. Mom gave me the ‘surprise’ party and was quite happy with it. I felt really awkward. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/16 "2025-08-16T16:28:01Z")
I kind of stopped caring about birthdays when I was 10 or so and the anniversary is when my wife and I started living together, neither of us can remember when we actually got married. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/17 "2025-08-16T16:34:05Z")
It’s a Big Deal to me _privately_. The first day of September always makes me quietly happy because it’s the start of my birthday month, and on my actual birthday I always secretly feel a little special all day. And I’ll be 54 next month, so I’m only a kid at heart. 😉 Acknowledgement from others, though? Doesn’t matter one bit. I don’t mind if other people say something/make a small fuss, but I truly don’t care if most\* are oblivious. And I wouldn’t _ever_ advertise that it’s my birthday. \*I say “most” because I do think I’d feel a little put out if my best friend and/or father ever seemingly forgot about my birthday, but it would be a passing thing; I wouldn’t be angry or deeply wounded or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/18 "2025-08-16T17:02:47Z")
My older daughter’s birthday is the day prior to mine. We let her have the attention. That being said: the timing of my birthday means we’re almost always traveling for our summer holidays, which means I frequently spend my birthday somewhere cool. It’s totally incidental, of course, and it doesn’t make it more special to me or anything. It’s just how it works out. This year, for example, on my birthday morning, I will be waking up here. [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/78/Mont-Saint-Michel_vu_du_ciel.jpg/1200px-Mont-Saint-Michel_vu_du_ciel.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/78/Mont-Saint-Michel_vu_du_ciel.jpg/1200px-Mont-Saint-Michel_vu_du_ciel.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/19 "2025-08-16T17:09:48Z")
My birthday isn’t a big deal to me, and that’s been true for pretty much all my adult life. I’m good with observing the round-number birthdays and ignoring the ones in between. There are two things going on here. The first is that my birthday is early enough in the year that I think of myself as having been that age for the entire year, as in ‘I was 29 in 1983,’ that sort of thing. The other is that I had a totally kick-ass born-again experience when I was sixteen. I _remember_ that birthday! And it’s still the event that’s at the very heart of my life. So when it comes around every September, I _celebrate_ that birthday, not so much in the sense of having a party or anything like that, but just joyful remembering and reliving the events of that month, and that one night in particular that changed everything. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2025, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139/20 "2025-08-16T17:17:24Z")
When I was in grad school three of us had birthdays within 3 days of each other, so there was a joint celebration (not involving joints) which was nice because it wasn’t focused on just one of us. No one at work knew it was my birthday. That was fine with me. Today there is nothing I need, so we keep it low key. But birthday sex is a thing. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/is-your-birthday-a-big-deal-to-you/1022139.md?page=2)