# Isaac Hayes quits South Park **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 13, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245 "2006-03-13T22:59:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/41 "2006-03-14T03:02:13Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, but it’s not part of Catholic teaching that priests must molest little boys. It IS Scientology doctrine that one should harass their enemies in anyway possible. > > Topic? I say have Chef decide to go back to school to study to become a psychiatrist-the ultimate insult to a clam. **Guin** … **Guin** … **Guin** … don’t be glib. You’re being glib, **Guin**. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/42 "2006-03-14T03:04:04Z")
News flash: the Scientology episode “Trapped in the Closet” will be re-aired Wednesday night on the Comedy Channel! Woo-hoo! ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/43 "2006-03-14T03:06:34Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Hooray: back to Sheff. They should have a UFO from Xenu haul him off to the biggest Douche in the Universe contest. I don’t expect him to win but it would be an okay exit for the character while mocking Mr. Hayes. > > Jim They could call him a Visitors’ plant. Think about it. He knows the answer to every question, he gets EVERY woman he goes after… he even gets the kids to act as his henchmen. _adjusts tinfoil hat_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/44 "2006-03-14T03:09:15Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > **Guin** … **Guin** … **Guin** … don’t be glib. You’re being glib, **Guin**. I know the history of Scientology. You don’t. I CARE about you man. Each and everyone one of you. I care. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/45 "2006-03-14T03:12:00Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > They could call him a Visitors’ plant. Think about it. He knows the answer to every question, he gets EVERY woman he goes after… he even gets the kids to act as his henchmen. _adjusts tinfoil hat_ My God, Or is that my Xenu? I think you’re on to something. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/46 "2006-03-14T03:14:04Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Has anyone accused the RCC or the C of E of being an unscrupulous commercial organization, harassing critics, or exploiting members? Yes. Continuously. For the past five centuries at least. > [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Have any Cardinals ever been convicted of domestic espionage? Not to my knowledge. Why is that relevant? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/47 "2006-03-14T03:17:23Z")
> [@dotchan](#): > > I’m guessing Christianity gets a pass because . . . Bear in mind that there is no such church as “Christianity.” Where is there very definitely is a Church of Scientology. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/48 "2006-03-14T03:18:51Z")
**Guinastasia** and **BrainGlutton** : I already mentioned it once, but you two might have missed it. Please don’t miss it this time. The topic of Scientology versus Catholicism does not belong in this thread. If you want to explore it, that’s fine; just be sure to do it in Great Debates, where religious discussions belong. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/49 "2006-03-14T03:19:18Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Mary Sue Hubbard, and a bunch of other higher ups were caught breaking into the IRS headquarters and stealing documents about Scientology. :dubious: :mad: Why would the IRS **have** any “documents about Scientology”? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/50 "2006-03-14T03:22:50Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > :dubious: :mad: Why would the IRS **have** any “documents about Scientology”? Tax exemptions. Sorry, **Skip** , I won’t let it happen again. I hope that answering just this question isn’t a problem. Now then, I hear that they’re going to re-air the episode on Wednesday night. Score! “I’ll sue you! I’ll sue you in England!” ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/51 "2006-03-14T03:25:23Z")
Hoooo boy. I don’t care how brutal, vicious, sadistic, cruel, torturous, soul-crushing, heart-ripping, or life-destroying those Scientology fanatics are…they’re _nothing_ compared to a ticked off Matt & Trey. 😉 Is anyone going to take Isaac’s side in this? Anyone at all? NOBODY’S defied Matt & Trey in over a decade of work (shoot, not even the usual token denouncements from the think-of-the-children knuckleheads), and this time they have a rock solid counterargument. This is going to hound him to his freakin’ grave. His. Freakin’. Grave. As for how to get rid of Chef, I’m thinking out-of-nowhere kidnapping or execution-style slaying that’s over within two minutes. South Park isn’t known for long goodbyes, if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/52 "2006-03-14T03:27:32Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > News flash: the Scientology episode “Trapped in the Closet” will be re-aired Wednesday night on the Comedy Channel! Woo-hoo! I think I will DVR it this time. It really was an awesomely funny episode. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/53 "2006-03-14T03:29:00Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, but it’s not part of Catholic teaching that priests must molest little boys. It IS Scientology doctrine that one should harass their enemies in anyway possible. > > Topic? I say have Chef decide to go back to school to study to become a psychiatrist-the ultimate insult to a clam. Brillant! And that’s not just the Guinness. ---
**Author:** ![Metacom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecae2f/32.png) [@Metacom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Metacom)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/54 "2006-03-14T03:30:59Z")
I think they should have a white singer start voicing Chef, and never remark on the change in the show. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/55 "2006-03-14T03:31:41Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > Hoooo boy. > > I don’t care how brutal, vicious, sadistic, cruel, torturous, soul-crushing, heart-ripping, or life-destroying those Scientology fanatics are…they’re _nothing_ compared to a ticked off Matt & Trey. 😉 > > Is anyone going to take Isaac’s side in this? Anyone at all? NOBODY’S defied Matt & Trey in over a decade of work (shoot, not even the usual token denouncements from the think-of-the-children knuckleheads), and this time they have a rock solid counterargument. Eh. They sometimes go overboard in the librul bashing, but they sometimes go overboard on just about everything, so I let it roll off my back. They’re best when they mock those who take themselves too seriously. Obviously Hayes falls into that category. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/56 "2006-03-14T03:34:33Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > NOBODY’S defied Matt & Trey in over a decade of work . . . Well . . . some have. The less said of that the better, but see this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=352090](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=352090) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/57 "2006-03-14T03:38:07Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Eh. They sometimes go overboard in the librul bashing, but they sometimes go overboard on just about everything, so I let it roll off my back. They’re best when they mock those who take themselves too seriously. Obviously Hayes falls into that category. They do go overboard on everything that is what is great. Think about the Election episode, they slammed both sides. Giant Douche vs. Turd Sandwich. The even showed the Douche winning and that was the Liberal. (Kerry). 😉 Jim ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/58 "2006-03-14T03:39:50Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > **Guinastasia** and **BrainGlutton** : I already mentioned it once, but you two might have missed it. Please don’t miss it this time. > > The topic of Scientology versus Catholicism does not belong in this thread. If you want to explore it, that’s fine; just be sure to do it in Great Debates, where religious discussions belong. I thought she was referring to the episode bashing the RCC, where they said that molesting boys was part of the foundation of the RCC. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/59 "2006-03-14T04:06:06Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Who will replace him, James Earl Jones? > [darth vader]“What is thy bidding, my little Crackers?”[/darth vader] That would be sweet. I wonder if he can sing. I love listening to James Earl Jones (and I’m not quite sure why.) As it is, I was wondering what had happened to Chef. He was in all the time in the early seasons but these last few seasons the character would show up maybe once or twice a season. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/60 "2006-03-14T04:37:08Z")
Ladies and Gentlemen . . . presenting Clay Aiken as Chef! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245.md?page=4)