# Isaac Hayes quits South Park **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 13, 2006, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245 "2006-03-13T22:59:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/61 "2006-03-14T04:45:06Z")
> [@Malodorous](#): > > Well, yeah, but back in the day they used to do far worse then sue you. Back when they were torturing their enemies to death, were they a “church” or just a church. If so, at what period of history can we stop putting in the quote marks around the Roman Catholic “Church” Good point, but it’s been a couple centuries since the last enemy of the church was tortured to death. Scientologists are still sue happy. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/62 "2006-03-14T04:48:24Z")
BTW: New season starts March 22nd, just heard on a commercial break of the Colbert report. Jim {hooray} ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/63 "2006-03-14T05:45:01Z")
> [@DKW](#): > > Hoooo boy. > > I don’t care how brutal, vicious, sadistic, cruel, torturous, soul-crushing, heart-ripping, or life-destroying those Scientology fanatics are…they’re _nothing_ compared to a ticked off Matt & Trey. 😉 Are they ticked off? > [@Metacom](#): > > I think they should have a white singer start voicing Chef, and never remark on the change in the show. I vote for Donny Osmond. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/64 "2006-03-14T05:51:18Z")
Oh my God, they killed Chef. You bastards! ---
**Author:** ![spiralscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@spiralscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiralscratch)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/65 "2006-03-14T07:44:52Z")
So, does this mean the return of Mr. Derp? DERP! ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/66 "2006-03-14T09:58:24Z")
Maybe they’ll feed Chef to the Loch Ness Monster for three-fiddy. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/67 "2006-03-14T10:28:29Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > **Guinastasia** and **BrainGlutton** : I already mentioned it once, but you two might have missed it. Please don’t miss it this time. > > The topic of Scientology versus Catholicism does not belong in this thread. If you want to explore it, that’s fine; just be sure to do it in Great Debates, where religious discussions belong. I gave it a shot [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=234456&page=1&pp=40) but I was never, like, on the debate team or anything. Pretty much, that thread taught me that $cientology is just as stupid as every other religion. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/68 "2006-03-14T11:34:55Z")
I’ve never really watched South Park. But I do enjoy the quotes. But, wouldn’t **Dennis Haybert** be a great filler for Issac ‘Clambake’ Hayes. Or, if we must go Af-Am type person, **Morgan Freeman**. They could toss things up and get **Hugh Grant** or **Jude Law** to do the voice of the cook. ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/69 "2006-03-14T11:50:39Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > I’ve never really watched South Park. But I do enjoy the quotes. > But, wouldn’t **Dennis Haybert** be a great filler for Issac ‘Clambake’ Hayes. > Or, if we must go Af-Am type person, **Morgan Freeman**. > > They could toss things up and get **Hugh Grant** or **Jude Law** to do the voice of the cook. Nice. I guess Matt and Trey would never try to replace Chef, they are way too cool for that. My first thought was Barry White, but they would never have Chef without Isaac. Probably something stupid, like post op Mr Garrison takes over and they create a new teacher. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/70 "2006-03-14T12:42:37Z")
> [@Eleusis](#): > > My first thought was Barry White, but they would never have Chef without Isaac. Well, that and Barry’s dead. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/71 "2006-03-14T12:49:13Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > Well, that and Barry’s dead. 😛 Damn! Great way to find out, sitting here eating cold pizza, and digging SP trivia. Oh well, I guess that’s better than Hitler telling me in hell as he shoves a pineapple up my ass. Hopefully that’s at least 34 years away. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/72 "2006-03-14T13:27:25Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > Ladies and Gentlemen . . . presenting Clay Aiken as Chef! No, no! Tiny Tim! (He’s still alive, isn’t he?) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/73 "2006-03-14T13:30:38Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Mary Sue Hubbard, and a bunch of other higher ups were caught breaking into the IRS headquarters and stealing documents about Scientology. Actually, it was a bit more involved than that. It was the largest incident of domestic espionage in the country’s history and involved infiltrating, wiretapping, and stealing documents not only from the IRS but also the offices of Federal attorneys. Mary Sue Hubbard and her co-conspirators attemted to use freedom as religion as their defense. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/74 "2006-03-14T13:33:50Z")
Let’s not forget the Church of Scientology setting up fake Red Cross numbers in the wake of disasters–most notably 9/11–purportedly in order to gain new members. That ain’t right for anyone, least of all an organization that claims to be a religion. ---
**Author:** ![Kuizelemartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e19b73/32.png) [@Kuizelemartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuizelemartz)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/75 "2006-03-14T13:35:09Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > No, no! Tiny Tim! (He’s still alive, isn’t he?) No, sorry, Tiny Tim died November 30, 1996. Wonder how much his autograph is worth now? ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/76 "2006-03-14T13:43:54Z")
Aw damn. Given Matt & Trey’s history, I’d say Isaac’s departure isn’t going to be without some snipe. Can’t wait for THAT! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/77 "2006-03-14T13:52:28Z")
> [@Kuizelemartz](#): > > No, sorry, Tiny Tim died November 30, 1996. Wonder how much his autograph is worth now? Well, maybe they could get Pee Wee Herman? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/78 "2006-03-14T13:58:03Z")
I still say James Earl Jones. I frightened Mrs. Plant’s dogs last night with **WHAT IS THY BIDDING, MY LITTLE CRACKERS?** ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/79 "2006-03-14T13:59:40Z")
I’m surprised no one has brought up Hayes’ [interview](http://www.avclub.com/content/node/44132) with The Onion in January. He didn’t seem to have a problem with the Scientology episode then: > [@Isaac Hayes](#): > > Well, I talked to Matt and Trey about that. They didn’t let me know until it was done. I said, “Guys, you have it all wrong. We’re not like that. I know that’s your thing, but get your information correct, because somebody might believe that shit, you know?” But I understand what they’re doing. I told them to take a couple of Scientology courses, and understand what we do. [Laughs.] ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245/80 "2006-03-14T14:09:25Z")
> [@HPL](#): > > Perhaps the Church finally got around to threatening Hayes with a lawsuit if he didn’t quit south park? Lawsuit? Nah, they probably just invoked [disconnection](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disconnection). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isaac-hayes-quits-south-park/348245.md?page=5)