# Isn't Martha Stewart just cool? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 7, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400 "2005-03-07T18:40:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/21 "2005-03-08T02:52:31Z")
I couldn’t care less about her show or her magazine or anything else, but I’ve always thought that the prosecutor was out to get her. Let’s face it; insider trading just does not rate very highly on Heinous Deeds Scale. And if you bought stock on the advice of a friend, and one day that friend calls you up and tells you that the stock is about to tank, wouldn’t you be sorely tempted to unload your soon-to-be-worthless investment? ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/22 "2005-03-08T03:36:12Z")
Martha Stewart is hot. Yeah, I said it. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/23 "2005-03-08T04:19:14Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > people who have worked for her company and know her casually in consequence have said that she is personally a very warm and caring individual In the past there have been serious allegations that Stewart has been less than gracious. Take [this example](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/stewart1.html) on The Smoking Gun website in which a 23-year-old gardener talks of his encounter with the domestic diva > [@](#): > > I walked up to the driver’s side of the car, to the driver’s window, and I said, “May I help you?” The car was a dark colored big suburban, I think it was 4-door. There was a lady [Martha Stewart] driving. She asked me if we, meaning Whitmore’s [Landscaping], had put up a fence and I told her no. At that point she started to get extremely angry and she called me a “Fucking liar”. She asked, “Who put up the fence?” and I sad that I didn’t know. She then started yelling, “All you Whitmore guys are fucking liars, you’re all no good, the bunch of you”. She was just screaming at me and yelling that “you and all your fucking illegal aliens are no good”. The person who gave that statement then went on to allege that Stewart tried to run him over. Hard to say if that statement has any credibility, though. The Suffolk County District Attorney declined to prosecute and Stewart filed a libel suit against the man who made the allegation (I don’t what the outcome of that was). ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/24 "2005-03-08T05:32:32Z")
As I understand it, Martha went to jail for lying to a federal agent about what her broker (or his assistant) told her about why she should unload a certain stock. She ditched it, and avoided a loss of, I believe, ~$50,000. Now, my broker calls me all the time to tell me what he thinks I ought to do based on what he thinks. He never phrases his impressions in terms that might be considered insider information. And I act upon his suggestions about 50% of the time and I’m right (or, he’s right) about 50% of the time. Works for me. But aren’t the really rich people supposed to have the best and the brightest working for them? If my broker called me up and said that XYZ Corp’s primary product had failed testing, and I should get out now before the news hits, and I had no other contact with XYZ Corp, sure, I’d sell. And I’d have no problem telling a federal investigator why I did. As **Diceman** alludes, having foreknowledge of the impending doom of a holding and not being able to sell is a tough position. But she could have sold, even on the poorly communicated advice of her broker, and been in the clear if she’d been straight with the Feds. They had nothing else on her, and the dollar amount is paltry. But they (the Feds) were at that time under extreme pressure to do something about securities flim-flams. They’ve yet to lay a glove on Ken Lay (of Enron), whose transgressions seriously damaged the life plans of many (some of whom I know personally), but Martha was an easy kill, with a high profile, whose prosecution meant little to nothing in real terms. It would be extremely difficult to identify the harm Martha’s stock trade did to anybody, while the Enron gang trashed lives. Still, though, the Martha prosecution was a successful witch hunt. Not that I condone her actions. She fucked up. That speaks partially to the OP as to her acumen. She’s built a hugely successful enterprise that looks like it will survive Mama going to prison. Her mistake was a huge blunder, but she’s a smart gal, and presumably she learned something from it. No, I don’t think she’ll rival Bill Gates. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/25 "2005-03-08T05:50:11Z")
The only thing that MS and Bill Gates have in common are initials. She is condescension personified. Ever see how she treats the “guests” on her show? If condescending pretentiousness is cool, then yes, she is really freaking cool. Convicted felons rule! Even if it’s just a little white felony. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/26 "2005-03-08T06:11:29Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > Martha Stewart is hot. > > Yeah, I said it. "I’ve got a baaaad case of Martha Stewart! First of all, everything she does on her show, every stupid little mundane minutia thing she does, _sounds so sexy._ ‘Today we’re going to make a lovely … _bundt_ cake. You can make _any_ flavour you desire. Watch as I knead the dough with my _strong, long fingers…_ Here we have one already _hot_ and _fresh_ and _steamy_ from the oven. As I carefully ladle out the icing and it _ooooozes_ over the side… It’s a _good_ thing!!’ Yes! Yes! Yes! … “Do you think Martha Stewart’s a lesbian? I hate to say it, but I think she is. In fact, I think she’s a big old, tramp in from the garden, with her boots still on, make you call her daddy dyke top, that’s what I think. Oh, yeah – bend you over the antique rolltop desk, pull your panties down and spank ya a little! ‘How d’you make eggs fluffy?!’ _kssh!_ ‘HOW?!’” - Suzanne Westenhoefer ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/27 "2005-03-08T11:05:48Z")
It was not, one notes, perjury. She was not under oath. It did not have to be a lie, either. If you say anything to a federal agent that is not the truth, honestly mistaken or not, you can now be arrested and jailed. Ain’t that fun? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/28 "2005-03-08T11:20:36Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > And she does have a great deal of business acumen, if perhaps not the finest of business ethics. :eek: Business Ethics is an oxymoron. ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/29 "2005-03-08T11:41:55Z")
Personally, I’d like to see the FARKERs from Enron prosecuted as swiftly as they brought the axe down on Martha. I think she’s hot too. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/30 "2005-03-08T12:39:13Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > My impression of her pre-scandal was that of a bitch, a hugely successful and in many ways admirable bitch, but a bitch nontheless. My mom used to write a newsletter about organizing your life, mostly for stay at home mothers and such, though it did include business tips as well. But she got involved with a few organizations and she continually heard people rant and rave about the ice-queen that was Martha Stewart. So yes, she is quite the bitch. And I will not place my mantle of cool upon her. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/31 "2005-03-08T20:39:55Z")
I’ve only caught passing snippets of her show, but there’s something about her that I absolutely don’t like. Don’t know if it’s mannerisms or attitude or that stupid hair in her face or what, but I have a visceral desire to smack her. If she was abducted by aliens and whisked off the planet tomorrow, I wouldn’t miss her. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/32 "2005-03-08T21:01:30Z")
Hmmm. . . While her company stock might have withstood the pressure of her incarceration, I’m not optimistic about how it would fare in light of an anal probe. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/33 "2005-03-08T21:08:23Z")
Since it was a woman’s prison, I’m guessing there were no anal probes during her incarceration… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/34 "2005-03-08T21:14:37Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Since it was a woman’s prison, I’m guessing there were no anal probes during her incarceration… :eek: You aren’t being very imaginative. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/35 "2005-03-08T21:14:52Z")
_smile_ Sorry, I meant from **FCM’s** alien hypothetical. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/36 "2005-03-08T21:16:26Z")
> [@UncleRojelio](#): > > You aren’t being very imaginative. Not everyone’s fantasy life centers around Women in Cages, yanno! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@Kansas\_Beekeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kansas_Beekeeper)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/37 "2005-03-08T21:21:27Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > My impression of her pre-scandal was that of a bitch, a hugely successful and in many ways admirable bitch, but a bitch nontheless. A few years ago she appeared on the NPR show Car Talk with Tom and Ray. She was quite charming with a self-deprecating sense of humor. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/38 "2005-03-08T21:30:18Z")
I’m sure she was a real peach. Disturbing though are the ubiquitous reports of bad behavior off camera or mic. Those usually are, shall we say, _less than complementary._ ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/39 "2005-03-09T09:58:51Z")
Shortly before the scandal, Martha appeared on Conan O’Brien’s show. Conan asked her if she would take a bite of a fast food hamburger (I think from Wendy’s) followed by a slug straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Martha took a huge bite of the burger (that had to be cold and greasy by that point) and a healthy gulp of the booze, then declared the burger “tasty” and ate about half of it. From that point on, I decided that unless she did something truly heinous, I would love Martha. I’m still waiting for heinous, and I still love her. Viva la Martha! ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400/40 "2005-03-09T20:30:48Z")
> [@TeaElle](#): > > Shortly before the scandal, Martha appeared on Conan O’Brien’s show. Conan asked her if she would take a bite of a fast food hamburger (I think from Wendy’s) followed by a slug straight from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Martha took a huge bite of the burger (that had to be cold and greasy by that point) and a healthy gulp of the booze, then declared the burger “tasty” and ate about half of it. My kind of girl! > [@twickster](#): > > I’m not aware of M.S. being particularly well known as a philanthropist. Does she have to be, to be considered a good person? Just wondering. > [@hlanelee](#): > > Personally, I’d like to see the FARKERs from Enron prosecuted as swiftly as they brought the axe down on Martha. Yeah, what’s up with that? > [@hlanelee](#): > > I think she’s hot too. There is something striking about her. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/isnt-martha-stewart-just-cool/293400.md?page=1)