# Issues of acceptance for transgendered people **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 2, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775 "2013-09-02T00:26:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/41 "2013-09-04T05:10:49Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > [QUOTE=AHunter3] > > Perhaps I should start an “Ask the GenderQueer person” thread? I would read it; I’d like to learn more. Please note I don’t judge genderqueer folks; I admitted that many in the community (which actually includes me) don’t understand some of them. I guess I don’t understand _my_ specific friends because they are so “in your face.” [/QUOTE] [I decided to do it!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16633684#post16633684) Thanks for adding your encouragement. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/42 "2013-09-04T05:32:36Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > Are you confusing cis- with trans? Or do I not get the joke? I must be. What is “cis?” I apologize; this is all absolutely new to me. I had thought the Williams sisters were just remarkable athletes. Then someone used the phrase “cisgender women” in a thread having to do with sex changes, and I fell into a silly trap of thinking it meant sex-changed. **astro** : admired the Crumb cartoon… I’m also perplexed by the word “genderqueer.” What does it mean, and can you say it in polite company? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/43 "2013-09-04T06:02:12Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I must be. What is “cis?” I apologize; this is all absolutely new to me. Cis = the chromosomes match the body parts match the identity. The vast majority of women are cisgendered. (Prounounced “sis,” as I learned in another thread! 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/44 "2013-09-04T06:13:50Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > I must be. What is “cis?” I apologize; this is all absolutely new to me. I had thought the Williams sisters were just remarkable athletes. Then someone used the phrase “cisgender women” in a thread having to do with sex changes, and I fell into a silly trap of thinking it meant sex-changed. > > **astro** : admired the Crumb cartoon… > > I’m also perplexed by the word “genderqueer.” What does it mean, and can you say it in polite company? This is pretty comprehensive. > **[Non-binary gender](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer)** > > Non-binary\[b\] and genderqueer are umbrella terms for gender identities that are outside the male/female gender binary. Non-binary identities often fall under the transgender umbrella since non-binary people typically identify with a gender that is different from the sex assigned to them at birth, although some non-binary people do not consider themselves transgender. > Non-binary people may identify as an intermediate or separate third gender, identify with more than one gender or no gender, o... ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/45 "2013-09-04T07:14:19Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Cis = the chromosomes match the body parts match the identity. The vast majority of women are cisgendered. > > (Prounounced “sis,” as I learned in another thread! 🙂 ) Cis- is a Latin(-derived) prefix meaning “on the same side of”, it’s used in biology and chemistry too. In this sense it means that one’s gender identity is “on the same side” of the gender barrier of which they were born. Though I’ve always hear it pronounced [sis] (think the word “sees” but with a terminal “s” rather than a terminal “z” sound), but that was in a science context. > [@Trinopus](#): > > I’m also perplexed by the word “genderqueer.” What does it mean, and can you say it in polite company? I wouldn’t say “genderqueer” casually, if for no reason other than “queer” is a slur against gays and may be taken the wrong way. The first I encountered a similar use of “queer” was in an English class, where it was used in the phrase “queering gender norms”. Which roughly means smudging the line between genders (we used the terminology in formal character analysis). ---
**Author:** ![listedmia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e0b2c6/32.png) [@listedmia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/listedmia)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/46 "2013-09-04T09:40:05Z")
I have some friends who are transgender women. Most of the folks on this board seem to be professionals/middle aged, but the girls I know are under-25 working class/strippers/prostitutes. I mostly met them when we were all homeless a few years ago. I was a little skeeved out at first, hanging out with them, but they were completely accepting and sweet to me. There was one incident that made me stop mentally referring to them as men. My friend Z. got a job in a restaurant, and so as to not make waves she started dressing like a guy again. It was the weirdest, most awkward thing ever. She looked more like a woman dressing up for a play. She still had all her old mannerisms and hormone-boobs. She was absolutely miserable. She went back to sex work and started doing her hair and makeup again in a month. Even though their lifestyle was dangerous, I realized they were really committed to doing whatever it took to live as women. I’ll admire their bravery forever. For a bunch of girls that didn’t want to have testicles, they sure have balls. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/47 "2013-09-04T12:08:10Z")
> [@listedmia](#): > > There was one incident that made me stop mentally referring to them as men. My friend Z. got a job in a restaurant, and so as to not make waves she started dressing like a guy again. It was the weirdest, most awkward thing ever. She looked more like a woman dressing up for a play. She still had all her old mannerisms and hormone-boobs. She was absolutely miserable. She went back to sex work and started doing her hair and makeup again in a month. Even though their lifestyle was dangerous, I realized they were really committed to doing whatever it took to live as women. I’ll admire their bravery forever. For a bunch of girls that didn’t want to have testicles, they sure have balls. Anecdote - the first person at work who guessed I was really a girl was my secretary, to whom I’m quite close. She said that when she first met me she thought I was a closeted gay guy, then she saw how loving me and Fierra were, in private and in public, and she was thrown. Then she said she started watching how I walked, moved, sat, talked, my mannerisms, and then she started noticing things, like I was the only “male” she had ever met with no body or facial hair (due to my intersex condition and luck), and then one day she put it together. She described it as “one day I realized what was off about you - you acted like a girl who was in drag as a guy. You were trying a little too hard to be a guy, and it just didn’t work.” About 5 months after my work transition as I was heading home through the building, another female senior engineer stopped me to chat, talked for a bit, then suddenly said “I have to tell you something Una. When we first met you seemed friendly and nice, but there was something about you that didn’t seem right. It made me a little suspicious, I got a bad ‘vibe’ from you, and it felt so unfair because you were the sweetest ‘guy’ in the company! A few other ladies said the same thing. Then after we found out you were Una, and saw you in the office and how naturally the clothes and everything fit you, it fell into place. The bad ‘vibe’ vanished, and I want to apologize for not being a better friend to you. I guess I was picking up your gender not matching male clothes and it threw me. And now I want to be your friend, and me and the other gals here are so happy you’re Una!” Followed by the hug and sniffling. I live a charmed life for a transwoman. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775/48 "2013-09-04T20:38:22Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Cis = the chromosomes match the body parts match the identity. The vast majority of women are cisgendered. > > (Prounounced “sis,” as I learned in another thread! 🙂 ) I remember “cislunar” from the Apollo missions, but… OUCH! The word means exactly the opposite of what I inferred from context! (Naturally, I blame the context… 😉 ) Anyway, apologies. I’ll just log this as blunder number 8,182G and move on. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/issues-of-acceptance-for-transgendered-people/667775.md?page=2)