# It doesn't exist, but it seems like it should **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 22, 2023, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061 "2023-04-22T22:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/21 "2023-04-23T22:49:45Z")
That might make sense for socks, but underwear? All those sizes, from toddler to, what, 6XL for men and women? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/22 "2023-04-23T22:50:48Z")
I’ve seen them with basic hygiene supplies, including deodorant, Kotex, and even condoms. I thought that was a great idea. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/23 "2023-04-23T23:20:24Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > A feature-length CGI adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s [I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Had_Trouble_in_Getting_to_Solla_Sollew). Or an animated special for that matter. Maybe it wasn’t as popular as other Dr. Seuss books (even though it was my favorite). Also, even though this is more appropriate for the **Obvious things about a creative work you realize after the millionth time** thread, it wasn’t until I was in college that I realized the plot of _I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew_ was a homage to _Candide_. > [@Smapti](#): > > Hotel vending machines that sell clean socks and underwear. I am pretty sure there are vending machines in Japan that sell these. > [@De\_La\_Rue](#): > > An _Addams Family_ episode titled “[I’m Gomez, He’s Fester](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_Dickens,_He%27s_Fenster).” If _Addams Family_ had run longer, I think they would’ve tried to have Marty Ingels do a guest spot. Whether they would’ve used that title for the episode would’ve depended upon how self-referential the writers wanted to get. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/24 "2023-04-23T23:25:41Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > I am pretty sure there are vending machines in Japan that sell these. He specified “clean”. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/25 "2023-04-23T23:27:24Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > If _Addams Family_ had run longer, I think they would’ve tried to have Marty Ingels do a guest spot. [He did indeed do one](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0505415/fullcredits). ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2023, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/26 "2023-04-23T23:50:04Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > I am pretty sure there are vending machines in Japan that sell these. To be fair, this reply can be used for almost any subject. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/27 "2023-04-24T00:52:29Z")
> [@GIGObuster](#): > > People at Reddit and YouTube point at the [1952 World Series, Game 7: Yankees @ Dodgers game as the oldest surviving complete broadcast of a baseball game.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqZnPQnxO9U&t=1s) > > However, Marketwatch [reported that game 6 was found and it is, so far as I know, the current oldest surviving full game recorded.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN2VxjMMwf4) Thanks for that! I only watched a few innings from game 7, but it was awesome to get to see players like Yogi Berra, Mickey Mantle, Duke Snider, Pee Wee Reese, and Jackie Robinson in their youth (with Red Barber announcing)! This was just 5 years after Robinson broke the color barrier, and yet Joe Black, himself African American, was the starting pitcher for the Dodgers - I never heard Red remark on his race. And the quality was quite good! I love nostalgia like that. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/28 "2023-04-24T01:39:44Z")
> [@Asuka](#): > > Hotel vending machines with sell the following Every hotel I’ve been in will happily give you basic hygiene supplies for free at the front desk. Haven’t tried batteries. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/29 "2023-04-24T01:41:49Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > > [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > > > A feature-length CGI adaptation of Dr. Seuss’s [I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Had_Trouble_in_Getting_to_Solla_Sollew). > > Or an animated special for that matter. Hell yeah. Wubble-chaps and key-slapping slippards and flubbulous floods for all! ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/30 "2023-04-24T03:28:14Z")
**Hineys for cats and dogs.** We now have the ability to genetically engineer biological improvements for many mundane things, like extending human lifespans, creating higher-yield crops, developing disease-resistant fruits and vegetables, correcting congenital pathological disorders, and so on and so forth. But, I have yet to hear any mention of manipulating DNA sequences to engineer the most important thing of all—giving pets butt-cheeks. Thanks to our bipedal locomotion, we humans evolved large gluteal muscles long ago, hence we have proper butt-cheeks. Other animals don’t have butt-cheeks, because they, rather shortsightedly, chose to remain quadrupeds. Butt But animals need butt-cheeks. They need them in order to present themselves properly in polite society. Heck, animals don’t even wear pants (not even cartoon animals), and they need them more than we do. I’m confident wearing my bottomless chaps in public because I have a hiney with butt-cheeks. If I didn’t have butt-cheeks, I wouldn’t wear my bottomless chaps as often because some people may interpret that as being rude. _Oh, look at him, he’s showing off his brown-eyed willy for all to see!_ I have scruples after all. I have 6 cats. None of them wear pants and none of them have butt-cheeks. That’s just…wrong. When I’m eating dinner, there’s nothing that kills my appetite faster than watching 6 puckered starfish parade around me as I eat. _Blech!_ 🤮 It’s enough to turn me off fried calamari rings forever. And, when one of my cats sits on my pillow as I sleep (as they often do, just to spite me), what do you think is between the fabric of my pillow and the cat’s anus? That’s right—nothing! _Rub-a-dub-dub_. It gives me nightmares. Indeed, we need to genetically engineer butt-cheeked hineys for our pets. When we do, I’ll let my cats wear bottomless chaps, just like me. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/31 "2023-04-24T03:45:15Z")
Maybe a company that makes breast implants could make some little cat butt implants. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/32 "2023-04-24T03:51:12Z")
Oh, that wouldn’t work. One of the other cats would puncture it with his claws, then I’d have silicone mixed with anal discharge seeping into my pillow. ---
**Author:** ![Blindmellowjelly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blindmellowjelly/32/13920_2.png) [@Blindmellowjelly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blindmellowjelly)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/33 "2023-04-24T03:55:56Z")
I think we need “Charging Attendents” that populate every Charging Station. Just like the old gas station attendants. Help you with all your EV problems and be somewhat knowledgable. Get you help and road repair. Every EV station should have a Japanese style, hot and cold food and drink vending area. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/34 "2023-04-24T05:28:12Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > All those sizes, from toddler to, what, 6XL for men and women? With some ingenuity and an adequately stocked machine, I’m imagining a print-on-demand (sew-on-demand?) system where you pick your size and style and it assembles you a fresh pair of underpants when you need them. Or maybe just stock a bunch of tightly compressed disposable shorts in different sizes, like a more sophisticated version of Archie McPhee emergency underpants. > **[Emergency Underpants Dispenser – Archie McPhee](https://mcphee.com/collections/underpants/products/emergency-underpants-dispenser)** > > One pair of Emergency Underpants is great, but what if, um, you like, uh, have another emergency? Don't fret, we've got you partially covered with the Emergency Underpants Dispenser. These 3-1/2" boxe ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/35 "2023-04-24T06:01:31Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > Valet Parking at the Emergency Room. Northwest Hospital here offers it for the ER and outpatient. I have never seen the valets, and the signs are vague as where to park, but theoretically they do offer it. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I’ve seen them with basic hygiene supplies, including deodorant, Kotex, and even condoms. I thought that was a great idea. I’ve seen them too. At one now-closed hotel they had old cheap paperbacks as well. In some brands the front desk is required to have complimentary amenities. Right now at mine it’s hit or miss - supply issues. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/36 "2023-04-24T07:18:11Z")
Circling back round to the movies or TV shows that should exist but don’t: **Ghostbusters International** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/37 "2023-04-24T07:45:03Z")
> [@kitap](#): > > At one now-closed hotel they had old cheap paperbacks as well. I’ve stayed at a few such hotels. It’s typically a couple of shelves of books in the lobby, though at one hotel, they were in the bar. I asked the barman about them, and it turned out that the hotel would buy them from the local public library, usually at about a quarter apiece, after the library had finished with them. Mostly paperback fiction novels: romances, westerns, mysteries, and similar. Stephen King, Tom Clancy, Danielle Steele, and other popular authors. The barman further explained that they could be borrowed by any hotel guest, and while the hotel would like them to be returned, it didn’t really care if they were. At a quarter apiece, and another library sale coming up, if a few went home with a guest, well, all the more room for additions from the upcoming public library sale. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/38 "2023-04-24T18:46:01Z")
Many hotels nowadays have their version of a Little Free Library in the lobby. I think that’s a great idea. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/39 "2023-04-24T19:05:58Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > > [@kitap](#): > > > > At one now-closed hotel they had old cheap paperbacks as well. > > I’ve stayed at a few such hotels. It’s typically a couple of shelves of books in the lobby, though at one hotel, they were in the bar. I asked the barman about them, and it turned out that the hotel would buy them from the local public library, usually at about a quarter apiece, after the library had finished with them. Mostly paperback fiction novels: romances, westerns, mysteries, and similar. Stephen King, Tom Clancy, Danielle Steele, and other popular authors. The barman further explained that they could be borrowed by any hotel guest, and while the hotel would like them to be returned, it didn’t really care if they were. At a quarter apiece, and another library sale coming up, if a few went home with a guest, well, all the more room for additions from the upcoming public library sale. No, I mean they were in the vending machine. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2023, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061/40 "2023-04-24T19:15:41Z")
Oh yes. Think of the hoo rah when Pa Ingalls, along with those other guys, does a blackface minstrel show! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-doesnt-exist-but-it-seems-like-it-should/983061.md?page=3)