# It feels sooooo good when I rub it.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032 "2005-07-31T18:34:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/1 "2005-07-31T18:34:13Z")
… and I rub it all the time. I’m even rubbing it right now! It’s pink and puffy and hot and moist. The more I rub, the wetter it gets. Sometimes it gets so wet, it starts dripping. If I rub too hard, it hurts. But as soon as it feels better, there I go, rubbing it again. When I go out in public, I wonder if people know my little secret. Are they thinking, _“Ahh, she’s been rubbing it. You can just tell.”_ It’s all I can do, to keep from rubbing it right in front of them. Maybe, to keep from rubbing it so much and to keep it from being obvious that I’ve been rubbing it, I’ll start wearing sunglasses. And get a better allergy medicine. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![surrotobeinMD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@surrotobeinMD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/surrotobeinMD)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/2 "2005-07-31T19:13:27Z")
Ha ha ha… the “rub”. It does feel sooooooo good. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/3 "2005-07-31T19:16:02Z")
Ugh, for a second I thought we were talking about your nose. How \* vile\*! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/4 "2005-07-31T19:16:17Z")
Keep rubbing it and you’ll go blind, young lady! ---
**Author:** ![MadderMitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e7dd6/32.png) [@MadderMitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadderMitch)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/5 "2005-07-31T19:27:04Z")
That’s an old wives tale, like syphilis. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/6 "2005-07-31T19:43:40Z")
Huh. When I rub mine, I have to hold it with my whole hand, it’s so big – both hands if I want to avoid messy accidents. It’s not that long, but it’s definitely wide and firm, and of course, very dark – very fierce and Africanesque. The ladies tell me they like how it looks – some have been known to play with it or kiss it out in public! I’m able to keep it from dripping no matter how vigorously it’s rubbed. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/7 "2005-07-31T21:45:58Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > … > Maybe, to keep from rubbing it so much and to keep it from being obvious that I’ve been rubbing it, I’ll start wearing sunglasses. So when you rub it, your pupils dilate? :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/8 "2005-08-01T02:04:43Z")
> [@MadderMitch](#): > > That’s an old wives tale, like syphilis. Is that the dude that had to push the rock? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/9 "2005-08-01T05:25:11Z")
I just wanted to point out the almost 600 views versus the 7 replies. 😃 (And I have trained myself not to rub my eyes for the reasons in the OP. But oh, it sure does feel goooooood…) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/10 "2005-08-01T06:58:03Z")
Ooooh! Oooooh! Can I rub it? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/11 "2005-08-01T12:23:29Z")
The problem is that once I start rubbing it gets hard To stop. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/12 "2005-08-01T14:39:22Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Is that the dude that had to push the rock? Yes, syphilis’ rock. One can only imagine how a rock got syphilis…eweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/13 "2005-08-01T14:45:48Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Yes, syphilis’ rock. > > One can only imagine how a rock got syphilis…eweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee The same way all those doorknobs got herpes, I reckon! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/14 "2005-08-01T16:07:29Z")
And, you know, if somebody else rubs it for me, they never get it quite right… not hard enough, or fast enough, or not in the right place… I always want to just push there hands away and do it myself… ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/15 "2005-08-01T16:53:57Z")
My palms are hairy. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/16 "2005-08-01T17:21:08Z")
Yes, but how’s your vision? (Remember that old joke about the first sign of craziness being hairy palms? And the second sign was looking for hair on your palms?) ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-feels-sooooo-good-when-i-rub-it/315032/17 "2005-08-01T20:08:11Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > My palms are hairy. Why? You’re a werewolf.