# It is implausible that pchaos is a lawyer and he should stop claiming to be one **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 14, 2013, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316 "2013-02-14T20:34:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 34
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/661 "2013-02-19T22:30:38Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > In the trial court you would say, “Your Honor, you are full of it.” Faking the law by watching TV, are we? Here’s a hint: that doesn’t work in real life. Certainly not here in Texas and I imagine not in California. That’s often a quick ticket to Jail and quite possibly a nice chat with your Bar Association about why you shouldn’t be censured or fined. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/662 "2013-02-19T22:31:24Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > In the trial court you would say, “Your Honor, you are full of it.” > > But think about it, when you are going to the Court of Appeals, isn’t that a polite way of saying the earlier judge didn’t get it right. Entertainment value is back! :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/663 "2013-02-19T22:43:58Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > Beats me, I’ve been wondering what’s the point of this thread. Okay, I suppose some people are mad that I don’t take this MB serious enough. Fair enough, what can I do to make people happier? Just don’t ask me to logical. The point of this thread is that you are uninformed on the topics you choose to write about, that you frequently post misinformation, that your arguments are fallacious, that you are generally incoherent. You contribute no knowledge or insight to the discussions you participate in, and engaging you is a fool’s game. You are an idiot who makes the world around you a stupider place to live in. That’s all this thread is about. Oh, and no competent lawyer would be as reckless, misinformed, incoherent, and illogical as you are. What you can do to make people happier is to take in what people are telling you and to adjust your behavior accordingly. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/664 "2013-02-19T22:45:28Z")
> [@simster](#): > > afuckingmazing. I think the meltdown is beginning. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/665 "2013-02-19T22:45:55Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > \ > > What you can do to make people happier is to take in what people are telling you and to adjust your behavior accordingly. Too late - he will never be able to adjust enough on this board to be taken seriously. ---
**Author:** ![pchaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/258eb7/32.png) [@pchaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pchaos)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/666 "2013-02-19T22:48:43Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Here’s a hint: that doesn’t work in real life. Certainly not here in Texas and I imagine not in California. That’s often a quick ticket to Jail and quite possibly a nice chat with your Bar Association about why you shouldn’t be censured or fined. To a certain extent I agree with you. But isn’t that what O.J. Simpson’s attorneys did at his trial in LA. They pushed decorum to the limit and the Judge respected them for it. Let’s face it, judges get your honor this and your honor that all the time. However, in the back of their minds they realize that most of them were also attorneys at one time and they admire “chutzpah.” ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/667 "2013-02-19T22:55:19Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > Fair enough, what can I do to make people happier? Just don’t ask me to logical. Actually the biggest thing you can do to make people a lot happier is that when you respond to people’s posts, respond in a way that shows that you have read and understand them. The second thing you can do is to avoid making claims that are baseless or clearly false. If you do those two things, that would be a good start. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/668 "2013-02-19T22:58:00Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > To a certain extent I agree with you. But isn’t that what O.J. Simpson’s attorneys did at his trial in LA. They pushed decorum to the limit and the Judge respected them for it. > > Let’s face it, judges get your honor this and your honor that all the time. However, in the back of their minds they realize that most of them were also attorneys at one time and they admire “chutzpah.” _Most of them_? In the last 100 years or so, I’d say practically all of them. As far as your claim that they admire “chutzpah,” I haven’t found that to be the case. They consider it unprofessional and disrespectful. Including those I’ve met from California. It is true that some judges will give you a longer leash, but not to the point of saying anything close to “your full of it.” It’s not only improper, it is bad advocacy. Next time try something like “your honor, I understand completely what you are saying, and that’s absolutely right in most cases, but I feel I’m not being clear in trying to explain why this case compels a different result.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/669 "2013-02-19T23:01:19Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > _Most of them_? In the last 100 years or so, I’d say practically all of them. [Depends on the jurisdiction](http://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/is_there_a_lawyer_in_the_court/). ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/670 "2013-02-19T23:02:13Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > To a certain extent I agree with you. But isn’t that what O.J. Simpson’s attorneys did at his trial in LA. So, you DID learn to fake the lawyer thing by watching TV. Glad to know. ---
**Author:** ![Ambrosio\_Spinola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Ambrosio\_Spinola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambrosio_Spinola)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/671 "2013-02-19T23:02:51Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > To a certain extent I agree with you. But isn’t that what O.J. Simpson’s attorneys did at his trial in LA. They pushed decorum to the limit and the Judge respected them for it. > > Let’s face it, judges get your honor this and your honor that all the time. However, in the back of their minds they realize that most of them were also attorneys at one time and they admire “chutzpah.” I’ve been practicing civil trial law for nearly ten years now and while I’m not going to say you’re not a lawyer of any kind, I don’t believe you’re a trial lawyer. You get bad judges from time to time and good judges who make bad rulings, and when they screw you, you smile and thank them and make your record for appeal, if necessary, and then you go back to your office and tell your partners and associates how the judge was full of it. Even big name ball busting attorneys do this. Saying that it’s common to insult the judge, or that the judge will tolerate that sort of thing, is crazy. ---
**Author:** ![pchaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/258eb7/32.png) [@pchaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pchaos)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/672 "2013-02-19T23:09:05Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > So, you DID learn to fake the lawyer thing by watching TV. Glad to know. Actually, one of my friends, Karl Douglas was on the OJ Simpson trial team. He was the low man on the totem pole. Do you remember the guy that “fell on his sword” because he failed to turn over evidence. That was a class mate. Guess what, it’s unlikely that he was even the guy that made the mistake. However, the low man on the totem pole always gets the shaft. You can be sure Johnny Cochrane wasn’t going to be the one apologizing to the Court. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/673 "2013-02-19T23:13:18Z")
I envy your rich fantasy life. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/674 "2013-02-19T23:13:23Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > I think the meltdown is beginning. not even close - just couldn’t think of a better pitworthy response that could sum it up in one (made up) word. \*\*pchaos \*\*likes made up definitions - I figure he would really appreciate made up words. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/675 "2013-02-19T23:13:31Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > Actually, one of my friends, Karl Douglas was on the OJ Simpson trial team. Sure you don’t mean **Carl** Douglas? ([wiki bio](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_E._Douglas)) Fish in a barrel. Fish in a barrel, I tells ya. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/676 "2013-02-19T23:15:19Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Back on the AOL board I believe we referred to that as “sending to Coventry.” As someone who goes to University of Warwick I resent that. ---
**Author:** ![pchaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/258eb7/32.png) [@pchaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pchaos)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/677 "2013-02-19T23:17:45Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Sure you don’t mean **Carl** Douglas? ([wiki bio](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_E._Douglas)) > > Fish in a barrel. Fish in a barrel, I tells ya. Hey, that’s the guy Karl or Carl, same guy. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/678 "2013-02-19T23:19:59Z")
> [@simster](#): > > not even close - just couldn’t think of a better pitworthy response that could sum it up in one (made up) word. > > \*\*pchaos \*\*likes made up definitions - I figure he would really appreciate made up words. Nah, I didn’t mean you, I meant him. When you start posting utter crap like claiming to tell judges “you’re full of it Your Honor,” without getting tossed in jail for contempt of court, you’re starting to run out of material. ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/679 "2013-02-19T23:22:08Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > Hey, that’s the guy Karl or Carl, same guy. Yup, your “friend” - the one whose name you can’t bother to spell right. If you’re going to try name dropping, at least learn to do it right. Also misspelled Johnny Cochran’s name, but you never claimed he was your friend. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2013, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316/680 "2013-02-19T23:23:16Z")
> [@pchaos](#): > > Hey, that’s the guy Karl or Carl, same guy. So you remembered him as a classmate, remembered that he was sanctioned for failing to disclose evidence, and forgot his name. Riiight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316.md?page=33) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-implausible-that-pchaos-is-a-lawyer-and-he-should-stop-claiming-to-be-one/650316.md?page=35)