# It is NONE of your business what I buy **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2006, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277 "2006-06-26T23:21:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/81 "2006-06-28T17:52:11Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > If the OP is still 14, I get it. Things strangers say to you at that age, especially older people, can get to you, and sit on your mind. Didn’t EVERYBODY outgrow that? Hell, it’s not like I went home to _cry_ about it! I just thought that it was a pretty damn rude thing to say. If someone insults me or offends me, I’m mature enough not to start bawling, or to start a fistfight. If you’ll read the OP, you’ll see that I didn’t act childishly at all. I ignored the first instance of cashier rudeness, but I felt that the comments of the manager required me to respond. I know the difference between banter and rudeness. Rolling your eyes and making sarcastic comments about the nutritional value of my food: rude. Telling Mom she’ll fail in her attempt to quit smoking and be back for more smokes in no time: rude. And if you’re calling those comments “banter”, then you damn well never “banter” with me if I’m a cutsomer of yours, because your boss will hear about it. ---
**Author:** ![Firebringer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f04885/32.png) [@Firebringer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Firebringer)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/82 "2006-06-28T18:02:20Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Me, though, I expect politeness from people working in retail establishments, just as I was polite when I worked in one. So while it would be bad enough for another shopper to treat me to their discourse on what’s wrong with my diet, it’s particularly galling for someone who’s being paid to be polite to me to be so rude. I’d agree. I’m happy enough if they just get on with the business of processing the transaction. If the cashier feels the need to engage in chatter then least they can do is keep it polite. If people can’t be polite and insist on verbablly abusing customers then they should choose another ‘career’. Phone sex springs to mind; where that attitude might be a positive asset. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/83 "2006-06-28T18:04:09Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Sweetie, I think you need to read some Emily Post or Miss Manners. Miss Manners in particular takes an extremely hard line on offering up commentary on what others are eating. A cashier making a throwaway line falls in between casual food chat which we all partake of, and sitting around at a dinner party saying, “Jaysus Billy, you ain’t et a thang!” which is probably more in line with what Miss Manners was getting at. Even if I agree that a cashier shouldn’t do it and it is rude. . .it’s the kind of rudeness that someone just has to GET THE FUCK OVER. This isn’t someone talking on their cell phone in church. It isn’t someone letting their dog crap on your front walkway. There is nothing to take offense at, and even if there were, the offense is not being given by a person whose opinion one needs to lend one ounce of weight to. Not one ounce. I reiterate, even the face of **twinkie** ’s comments: it’s a fucking cashier. At a fucking convenience store. It would be like me taking offense that you called me “sweetie” instead of recognizing that it just indicates your smallness and/or a ham-handed attempt to get me to take offense and thus contradict what I’m arguing. ---
**Author:** ![Twinkie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@Twinkie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twinkie)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/84 "2006-06-28T18:16:35Z")
[QUOTE=Excalibre] I don’t think anyone is saying that cashiers aren’t people. (If you didn’t notice, about half of the people in the thread have worked as cashiers!) I think the idea was more a recommendation not to worry about what any random stranger might advise you to do, whatever their social status. [QUOTE] Point taken. I guess I was over-generalizing, and taking the “cashier” side more than I had intended. Maybe it would be more accurate for me to say that cashiers can often feel as though they treated as “less than” while customers can often act as if they are “greater than,” and my solution, which is the same as many have suggested here is, be nice & move along, regardless of which end of the transaction you’re on. I’m also an advocate for talking to management, particularly if someone has gone out of their way to be helpful or courteous. That’s too rare, and should be rewarded. I happen to be a magnet for inappropriate conversation, too. People think that they can talk to me about anything. A fellow shopper at the supermarket wanted to know why I was buying so much chicken, and how come I didn’t buy it at BJ’s instead (I was shopping a sale); another guy wanted to know why I’d buy tealights at Pier One instead of getting them at the cheaper craft store. That’s what I get for shopping with my mom on Senior Discount Day, I guess! (No offense meant to seniors…I’m teasing. Or, ignore me, because I’m just a cashier! 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/85 "2006-06-28T18:21:51Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > A cashier making a throwaway line falls in between casual food chat which we all partake of, and sitting around at a dinner party saying, “Jaysus Billy, you ain’t et a thang!” which is probably more in line with what Miss Manners was getting at. So you’ve some how read into that statement an interpretation that says that criticizing what someone eats _while_ they’re doing it is bad, but criticizing what someone eats while the food is still in the package is okay? Funny, I’m not seeing an enormous difference there. > [@](#): > > Even if I agree that a cashier shouldn’t do it and it is rude. . .it’s the kind of rudeness that someone just has to GET THE FUCK OVER. As opposed to what? What else would someone do? Stalk the cashier when they leave their shift and set poisoned arrow traps in their driveway to kill them when they get home? Or are you just yet another jackhole self-righteously deciding what other people are allowed to be angry about? Dear God! Will **Antigen** have no mercy? _She posted something on a message board about her irritation! IT’S A CRIME!_ > [@](#): > > There is nothing to take offense at, and even if there were, the offense is not being given by a person whose opinion one needs to lend one ounce of weight to. Not one ounce. I reiterate, even the face of **twinkie** ’s comments: it’s a fucking cashier. At a fucking convenience store. It is quite assuredly something to take offense at. Which is why Miss Manners, me, and the majority of posters in this thread take offense at it. > [@](#): > > It would be like me taking offense that you called me “sweetie” instead of recognizing that it just indicates your smallness and/or a ham-handed attempt to get me to take offense and thus contradict what I’m arguing. It just indicates the contempt I have for self-righteous fools like you who throw tantrums because others have the temerity not to feel exactly the same way about every incident in life as they do. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/86 "2006-06-28T18:30:03Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > So you’ve some how read into that statement an interpretation that says that criticizing what someone eats _while_ they’re doing it is bad, but criticizing what someone eats while the food is still in the package is okay? > > Funny, I’m not seeing an enormous difference there. No surprise. As evinced by statements such as > [@Excalibre](#): > > So you’re saying we need to outgrow our desire not to be treated rudely by strangers? It’s pretty clear that having a feel for the “grey areas” isn’t really your strong suit. ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/87 "2006-06-28T18:35:20Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > There is nothing to take offense at, and even if there were, the offense is not being given by a person whose opinion one needs to lend one ounce of weight to. Not one ounce. I reiterate, even the face of **twinkie** ’s comments: it’s a fucking cashier. At a fucking convenience store. People get hurt and offended when someone remarks on something they are already sensitive about, i.e. their weight, their smoking habit. Plenty of us could laugh it off or ignore it, but I see how it could be insulting to have someone insinuate that you are too fat to buy and eat chicken pot pies and donuts. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/88 "2006-06-28T18:43:31Z")
Look, let’s face it, **Trunk**. You’ve lost here. You can’t come up with even the faintest bit of reasoning to support your absurd claim that it’s not rude for cashiers to offer up their advice on what foods the rest of us should eat. Why not just back off and stop making yourself look like an even bigger idiot, okay? ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/89 "2006-06-28T18:52:12Z")
I one agreed to pick up some items at the store for a couple of friends, when I was going out anyway on a shopping trip - one wanted a large frozen turkey; the other, a box of condoms. I went to the Loblaws (which has a pharmacy) and got both. I admit it looked sort of odd on the check-in conveyer - just a large, frozen turkey, and a box of condoms. Nothing else. The clerk gave me a look like this: :dubious: I don’t think I improved matters by blurting out “Oh, they are not for _me_.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/90 "2006-06-28T18:53:03Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Look, let’s face it, **Trunk**. You’ve lost here. You can’t come up with even the faintest bit of reasoning to support your absurd claim that it’s not rude for cashiers to offer up their advice on what foods the rest of us should eat. > [@Trunk](#): > > First of all, I agree. Cashiers shouldn’t say anything about what you’re buying. You can be forgiven for missing it. It’s only the very first thing I said in this thread. But go ahead. . .say what you _think_ I said, and then declare that I haven’t supported it. It’s pretty easy to “win” :rolleyes: when you do that. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/91 "2006-06-28T19:40:15Z")
[QUOTE=Malthus] I went to the **Loblaws** (which has a pharmacy) and got both.QUOTE] (emphasis mine) Did you see Bob? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/92 "2006-06-28T20:00:45Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > > [@Excalibre](#): > > > > Look, let’s face it, **Trunk**. You’ve lost here. You can’t come up with even the faintest bit of reasoning to support your absurd claim that it’s not rude for cashiers to offer up their advice on what foods the rest of us should eat. > > You can be forgiven for missing it. It’s only the very first thing I said in this thread. > > But go ahead. . .say what you _think_ I said, and then declare that I haven’t supported it. > > It’s pretty easy to “win” :rolleyes: when you do that. Huh. So how 'bout this? > [@Trunk](#): > > > [@Excalibre](#): > > > > > [@Trunk](#): > > > > > > If the OP is still 14, I get it. Things strangers say to you at that age, especially older people, can get to you, and sit on your mind. Didn’t EVERYBODY outgrow that? > > > > So you’re saying we need to outgrow our desire not to be treated rudely by strangers? > > We should outgrow the inability to distinguish harmless banter from actual rudeness. Right here you explicitly distinguish between “harmless banter” that people shouldn’t get upset about - the only possible interpretation is that you meant cashiers offering up their commentary on customers’ purchases - from _actual rudeness_. Hey, I didn’t say you’d been _consistent_ in what you’ve been saying in this thread. But you did quite explicitly distinguish between the commentary that has been the subject of this thread and “actual rudeness”. So yes, **Trunk** , you _did_ say that it wasn’t rude, and you haven’t put forth any argument for that. The fact that you are contradicting yourself left and right (per your claim that you now _do_ believe such a thing is rude) doesn’t make your argument stronger. ---
**Author:** ![Naz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@Naz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Naz)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/93 "2006-06-28T23:27:24Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > When I’m traveling and asked to show a driver’s license in the supermarket so that I can charge my purchases (a request I shouldn’t have to comply with anyway, according to the credit card company) > > _snip_ As a retail monkey, let me say this: we don’t ask for identification because we want to. The management of many retail stores require it, as do many customers who have ‘check id’ or some such written on the back of their card. I’ve had customers get pissed at me for asking for I.D. before and I’m sorry they feel that way, but my bosses can fire me for not asking. Sorry. I know you didn’t say anything against the cashiers who ask, but this is a pet peeve of mine. Nothing personal. As for the OP, I would never make comments like that, and I advise the cashiers I train to think about what they say before they say it. A little banter is one thing, joking around with the regular customers is fine, but that’s just rude. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/94 "2006-06-28T23:39:08Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Is this really that strange to you? Yes, it is. Theres hardly ever a fucking bagger at the Pick n Save or Jewel Store. In the rare event there is one, the line for that register is too long for it to be worth it. Aldis NEVER has baggers. Hell, you have to bring your own bags even (or pay extra for their shitty ones). I remember when I was a kid (60’s & 70’s) not only did every register of every store have a bagger, you didn’t even have to take the groceries to your car. They gave you a card with the cart number. You’d drive up to the door and show the card. They even loaded the groceries into the car, you didn’t even have to get out. Then there was the gas station attendant that pumped your gas on a cold winter day while you sat in the warmth of your car…for .42/9 a gallon!🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/95 "2006-06-29T04:21:43Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > Well perhaps even party treats should have some nutritional value - I mean, just 'cause it’s a party doesn’t give you license to serve/bring unhealthy food?! Actually, no, it doesn’t. What gives _me_ “license” to serve/bring unhealthy food is my birth certificate, which states that I am a citizen of a nation where I am allowed to serve/bring/buy/eat/snort/throw whatever food I want. > [@MelCthefirst](#): > > I dunno, maybe this is a concept that could catch on - to make us all eat more healthy. Your shopping is looked over at the check out and that you need to have the right proportions of all the food groups?! I can’t really tell which of your sentences are questions and which are statements, so I’ll have to make my best educated guess and respond accordingly. Supermarket workers are not paid to control what you eat, nor advise you on what to eat, nor to enforce your personal dietary needs. It’s not their job. It’s a power they have not been granted. Their job is to sell you the food you want to buy. Period. > [@jsgoddess](#): > > Jeepers. That’s way worse than creationism guy. I seemed to have missed this story! > [@MelCthefirst](#): > > It was more of a joke - and really with health and obesity being a major issue in the US (and other countries), leaving it up to each person to control their own food intake is not really working is it?! Who fucking cares? Giving each state in the union a fair number of votes in each presidential election doesn’t seem to really be working either, but that’s what fucking freedom and democracy entail, that adults be given the choice to control their own goddamned lives, so step your fucking shit out of everyone else’s beeswax. Seriously, this is the kind of argument that starts tyrannies. Do you know what that word means?! Am I cooler for using double the exclamation for the same low price?! ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/96 "2006-06-29T04:27:30Z")
> [@pkbites](#): > > Yes, it is. Theres hardly ever a fucking bagger at the Pick n Save or Jewel Store. In the rare event there is one, the line for that register is too long for it to be worth it. > > Aldis NEVER has baggers. Hell, you have to bring your own bags even (or pay extra for their shitty ones). > I remember when I was a kid (60’s & 70’s) not only did every register of every store have a bagger, you didn’t even have to take the groceries to your car. They gave you a card with the cart number. You’d drive up to the door and show the card. They even loaded the groceries into the car, you didn’t even have to get out. > > Then there was the gas station attendant that pumped your gas on a cold winter day while you sat in the warmth of your car…for .42/9 a gallon!🆒 That’s kind of the point of Aldi. You get shitty service because the stuff is cheaper. And full-service gas disappeared for the same reason - no one wanted to pay extra for something they could do themselves. Might as well not whine about stuff like that. It’s called “capitalism”. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/97 "2006-06-29T10:33:39Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > That’s kind of the point of Aldi. You get shitty service because the stuff is cheaper. Yeah, that’s **exactly** the point about the Aldi stores - you save money because they don’t have to hire baggers or give away bags for free. They used to even cut expenses by requiring cash payments - no card machines to install/fix, no fees for the stores to pay - but now they’ve added debit machines. You might as well complain that they have no-brand foods and their produce is limited and of questionable freshness - that’s the intent. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/98 "2006-06-29T11:12:51Z")
One of the interesting things I get to experience in my role as a Product Placement Executive (aka _Nightfill Guy Who Puts Stock On The Shelves_) is listening to many of the cashiers during the day. I like talking to cashiers. They’re stuck in one place for hours at a time, scanning groceries, and devoid of any mental stimulation at all. And, of course, when I’m filling the shelves, you can hear them talking to each other- 99% of the time it’s vapid shit about some boy at school who they like but their friend Sarah is such a bitch because she likes him too, how dare she- and I’ve honestly never heard any of them giving a customer a hard time over their purchases, nor have I heard them bitching about customers after they’ve gone. I’m sure they do, but yeah, the idea of a cashier making inappropriate comments about a customer’s purchases is a one-way ticket to the dole queue here. And grocery baggers? I’ve NEVER seen a grocery bagger at any supermarket in Australia that I’ve been into. They still have them in NZ (except at Pak 'N Save), and the idea strikes me with complete ambivalence. On one hand, it’s good to see people being employed, but on the other… well, you really don’t _need_ an extra person putting groceries into plastic bags, and groceries in NZ did cost more than they do in Australia… Interestingly, Supermarket staff in Australia get paid VERY well… if they’re over 21, they’re on around AUD$20/hr (plus penalty rates where applicable) as a casual employee, and around $16.80/hr (plus penalty rates) as a permanent part/full time employee… ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/99 "2006-06-29T12:09:48Z")
Me and the Mrs. went to the movies several weeks ago. Rather than paying movie-house prices on candy, we went to CVS (a drugstore chain) to buy boxes of Mike-n-Ike, Whoppers, etc at 1/3 the price. Up to the cashier - an older gentleman; should’ve known better - who said, leeringly, “Uh oh! _Someone’s_ got the munchies!” No, I pointed out, we’re going to the movies. “Oh!” he said. “Smugglers!” My wife said I looked like I was about to strangle him. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2006, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277/100 "2006-06-29T13:04:29Z")
> [@Daithi Lacha](#): > > Me and the Mrs. went to the movies several weeks ago. Rather than paying movie-house prices on candy, we went to CVS (a drugstore chain) to buy boxes of Mike-n-Ike, Whoppers, etc at 1/3 the price. Up to the cashier - an older gentleman; should’ve known better - who said, leeringly, “Uh oh! _Someone’s_ got the munchies!” No, I pointed out, we’re going to the movies. “Oh!” he said. “Smugglers!” > My wife said I looked like I was about to strangle him. See, this would have made me laugh. Well, the smugglers line, anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-none-of-your-business-what-i-buy/362277.md?page=6)