# It is not a prostrate, darling. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2009, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050 "2009-12-13T01:18:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/41 "2009-12-13T21:03:07Z")
> [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](#): > > Please repeat: _The kindly gentleman was found lying prostrate on the sofa awaiting his beloved prostate exam._ Repetition isn’t enough. Some people need a little extra help. The _prostrate_ man remained _stretched_ out _straight_ upon the ground. Your _prostate_ is in a sorry _state_, the doctor _stated_ to the patient. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/42 "2009-12-13T21:27:08Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Voila! Said the musician as he showed off his new viola. > > The suicidal patient was treated with antidepressants, ECT, etc. > > The effect of the drugs was to affect his affect. > > I can’t come up with a remotely coherent sentence that uses effect as a noun, effect as a verb, affect as a noun, and affect as a verb. Can you? How about: The drug’s intended effect was to effect a change in his affect, but the dosage didn’t affect him correctly. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/43 "2009-12-13T21:34:13Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > I made sure the MPSIMS mods are aware of the situation. I wouldn’t worry about it. > > **Gfactor** > Pit Moderator I’ll wait until the statue of limitations has run out and then BAM, **Tripler** gets it! 😃 **Ellen MIP Moderator** ---
**Author:** ![Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/54ee81/32.png) [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kneepants_Erasmus_the_Humanist)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/44 "2009-12-13T22:05:49Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > Ha ha! WHY??? I was SO angry, I was! This subject is in no way mundane to me, but whatever. _huff_ Well, THANKS gang for ruining my incredibly timely rant. In this forum it cannot be considered a rant at all, and so what is its purpose? It now only exists to remind me of what could’ve been. AND TO TAUNT ME. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/45 "2009-12-13T22:53:01Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Isn’t the prostrate gland another name for the appendix, because it just sits there and does nothing? Yeah, the prostate is the Edsel of organs. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/46 "2009-12-13T23:02:40Z")
> [@KlondikeGeoff](#): > > Yeah, the prostate is the Edsel of organs. It has showy fins and was made in Detroit ? I did not know that… ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/47 "2009-12-13T23:07:00Z")
[QUOTE=Hyperelastic] sn’t the prostrate gland another name for the appendix, because it just sits there and does nothing?[Actually, the prostrate secretes a component of ejaculatory fluid and contains muscles that contribute to the force of ejaculation, so it helps to have a healthy prostrate if you want to C\*M LIKE A PRON STAR!!! Also, something about increasing the motility and survival rate of sperm blah blah blah. > [@Quasimodem](#): > > Used to write my own material for my radio show and one line I came up with was this: > > “Women without prostates. On the next Oprah.” > > Well it was funny back then (the mid - 80’s).! 🙂 [They have them now](http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10668204). (Actually the structure, function, and [missing word for likelihood of becoming enlarged or cancerous requiring surgical intervention] are different enough it seems silly to buck the longstanding practice of giving them different names, but there you have it.) ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2009, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/48 "2009-12-13T23:35:01Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > The effect of his affect was to affect negatively his ability to effect change in others. > > 😃 Thank you! I must remember that the next time somebody either misuses those words or says that effect is a noun and affect is a verb. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/49 "2009-12-14T04:06:33Z")
> [@Marcus](#): > > Bummer. > > Some friends had their prostates removed, and it totally wrecked em. **Marcus** , with all possible respect to your friends (and acknowledging that I know nothing about their circumstances or what aftereffects they may have had to deal with), to me whether one is “wrecked” by prostate removal depends on one’s priorities. But all I have to go on is my own experience. \ Of the two major side effects associated with the inevitable trauma to the nerves running through the prostate, the first has pretty much resolved itself. I still wear a pad, but that’s 99.44% paranoia — I can count on one hand the number of significant leakages in the last three or four months. Eventually I expect to be comfortable enough that I can dispense with them entirely. The other side effect, unfortunately, has shown little or no progress. And at my six-month followup the urologist offered to write me a prescription. But as I told him, nobody has required my, er, “services” in this area for something like eighteen years, which makes it something less than a pressing issue. Under the circumstances, I declined to introduce medication to my system in order to correct a problem that really doesn’t exist. \ If you were to ask me if I liked breathing or boinking, my reflex answer would be “yes!” But my cancer — first-alerted by the much-maligned PSA screening — was unusually aggressive, which meant that I was pretty much forced to choose between the two. Perhaps I’m unusual, but I chose breathing. So far, I don’t regret my choice at all. ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/50 "2009-12-14T04:14:29Z")
ETA the above (missed the edit window): I just got it. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Marcus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85e7bf/32.png) [@Marcus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/51 "2009-12-14T04:35:29Z")
Sorry to hear of your difficulties Otto, but yes, it was joke. Hope it helped you to smile a little. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/52 "2009-12-14T04:53:41Z")
> [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](#): > > WHY??? I was SO angry, I was! This subject is in no way mundane to me, but whatever. _huff_ > > Well, THANKS gang for ruining my incredibly timely rant. In this forum it cannot be considered a rant at all, and so what is its purpose? It now only exists to remind me of what could’ve been. AND TO TAUNT ME. It can also serve to remind everyone to have their prostrates checked. We don’t want anyone falling down on the job. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/53 "2009-12-14T06:48:20Z")
> [@shel](#): > > i don’t even have a prostate, but i know the difference between having a prostate and laying down. But do you know the difference between laying down and lying down? ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/54 "2009-12-14T12:56:10Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > It [the prostate] has showy fins and was made in Detroit ? Well, that explains everything. > [@Kneepants\_Erasmus\_the\_Humanist](#): > > WHY??? I was SO angry, I was! This subject is in no way mundane to me, but whatever. _huff_ > > Well, THANKS gang for ruining my incredibly timely rant. In this forum it cannot be considered a rant at all, and so what is its purpose? It now only exists to remind me of what could’ve been. AND TO TAUNT ME. You are such a pre-Madonna! Arghh! :chokes: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/55 "2009-12-14T14:14:35Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > I’m for state’s rights on most topics. Does that make me pro-state? I have no opinion on that. But I will say that I am in favor of Volone, and against Pasto. ---
**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/56 "2009-12-14T17:49:15Z")
> [@TWDuke](#): > > Actually, the prostrate secretes a component of ejaculatory fluid and contains muscles that contribute to the force of ejaculation, so it helps to have a healthy prostrate if you want to C\*M LIKE A PRON STAR!!! Hey! What the heck are you doing putting a factural post on this thread that has devolved into hilarity ensuing, anyway? Please define “Pron Stat.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/57 "2009-12-14T20:44:41Z")
It’s a very, very fast Pron. Didn’t you ever watch _ER_? ---
**Author:** ![amtriska](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@amtriska](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amtriska)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050/58 "2009-12-14T22:32:28Z")
I have an otherwise-brilliant professor this semester who doesn’t get this distinction. He was trying to make a point about Paradise Lost, saying that Satan is “lying **prostate** on the lake of fire.” He paused after he said the word “prostate,” like he knew it wasn’t the right word, but he didn’t correct himself. He used it two more times later in the semester. Each time, that little pause, like _I know this isn’t quite right and maybe I’m embarrassing myself wait what’s the word for the thing in your butt that gets cancer oh Jesus I need to find a different word for lying down_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-not-a-prostrate-darling/521050.md?page=2)