# It is Upon Us: My Daughter Is Using Bad Language **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2006, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914 "2006-09-24T02:45:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/21 "2006-09-24T05:25:13Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] As usual with regards to my writing style, all the facts (except MAYBE the U-Haul) are true but the story is conveyed in a way to emphasize certain points and emotions. If I just wrote that my daughter was being exposed to things that I wouldn’t prefer, that would seem nonspecific and pedestrian. I truly wish that she wouldn’t speak that way but I am a loving parent and know that I can’t control everything. If the story makes me sound like a pretentious prick, you can use Occam’s Razor to sort that one out but I am a good Daddy despite it all. [/QUOTE] If you’re _actually_ getting upset at your daughter for using a perfectly ordinary slang term, that’s _not_ good parenting by any stretch. If you’re just describing your mental state at this minor sign your daughter is growing up, that’s understandable. But if you’re actually trying to prevent her from using the slang her peers are using, that’s creepy and controlling and you should really try to get a grip. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/22 "2006-09-24T05:35:09Z")
Let’s just hope Shaggette NEVER attempts to order milk in a bar. Seriously, **Shagnasty** , if you’re that sensitive to slang, please, don’t ever come to Pittsburgh. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/23 "2006-09-24T06:15:08Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] She replied: “My teacher pushed me _wicked_ high on the swing”. [/QUOTE] This is not a problem, however “Holy fuckin shit, did my teacher push me wicked high on the swing today.” might be considered a problem. 😃 Chill dude. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/24 "2006-09-24T06:20:33Z")
If wicked bothers you that much, you picked the wrong part of the country to live in. I, like many of my co-workers, have an English degree. Yet conversations like this are fairly common place: “Wicked cold out today, don’t you think?” “Ayuh, it sure is.” Four years of formal education in English does not eradicate “wicked,” so I doubt Daddy will. Unless, of course, you severely discipline her every time she says it. That _might_ have some effect. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/25 "2006-09-24T06:34:23Z")
I am amazed at the number of whooshed posters who do not realize that **Shag** simply objects to his child, bearing ancestral South’rn blood in her veins, expressing herself using New England regionalisms. (On the other hand, I am distressed to see him go so far as to make her live in a Chevy SUV to try to keep her from language contamination.) ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/26 "2006-09-24T06:46:45Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] I am amazed at the number of whooshed posters who do not realize that **Shag** simply objects to his child, bearing ancestral South’rn blood in her veins, expressing herself using New England regionalisms. [/QUOTE] It’s all in the tone. It’s not self-mocking enough to give the vibe that he’s joking, which is why we’re all confused. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/27 "2006-09-24T10:57:50Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] I am amazed at the number of whooshed posters who do not realize that **Shag** simply objects to his child, bearing ancestral South’rn blood in her veins, expressing herself using New England regionalisms. [/QUOTE] Well, if it means that much to him, the solution is to move south. Then he can fret over the many and myriad colloquilisms present there. Oops, I’m forgetting-the South has the corner on colorful speech, any other region is just trying to be “all that” and uppity. :rolleyes: 🙂 (to ameliorate the roll eyes a bit) I’d say that if this is what he has to worry about as a parent, he has it wicked good. And it is cool to go wicked high on the swings–I admire her courage at such a tender age-I didn’t go that high until at least age 7. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/28 "2006-09-24T10:59:01Z")
It never ceases to amaze me that on a board where one usually finds very intelligent folk, people still get their knickers in a knot over silliness. Personally, I got a giggle from the OP - on the other hand, I’m not wearing knickers, so maybe that’s it?? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/29 "2006-09-24T11:04:10Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] (On the other hand, I am distressed to see him go so far as to make her live in a Chevy SUV to try to keep her from language contamination.) [/QUOTE] Dammit **tom**. Dammit dammit. I was so going to say that. Ya’ll are being whooshed right fierce. > [@](#): > > I practically dropped my fork and a sudden intense silence filled the room. I locked eyes with my wife and she had both horror and shame on her face. **C’MON!** ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/30 "2006-09-24T11:05:12Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] Well, if it means that much to him, the solution is to move south. Then he can fret over the many and myriad colloquilisms present there. Oops, I’m forgetting-the South has the corner on colorful speech, any other region is just trying to be “all that” and uppity. :rolleyes: 🙂 (to ameliorate the roll eyes a bit) [/quote] No, he said upthread that “If we lived in the South, I would discourage the “aint’s” and other ugly language usages common there as well as the Bronx etc.” ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/31 "2006-09-24T11:32:24Z")
Just be happy you don’t live in the general Pittsburgh region (including the part of NE Ohio where I happen to currently reside). You’d catch her saying things like “This house needs cleaned”. It makes me shudder - and yet I find it creeping into my speech and it shocks me every time. The _worst_ place I caught it creeping into my speech was at a job interview in Houston. I was answering a question and out came a phrase like that (I don’t remember the exact phrase now). I stopped, apologized (luckily one of the people in the room grew up in the Pittsburgh area and understood exactly what I said) and then continued on. Also, because of a college roommate from just South of Boston, I use wicked in the way described occasionally. And growing up in the Southeast, y’all is definitely part of my speech. So my language is a mishmash of accents and dialects. Enough that occasionally it makes me cringe - I’m better than I was for a while, but it’s when I relax and don’t think about what I’m saying that these things come out of my mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/32 "2006-09-24T11:43:11Z")
I’m from the South. Back in the day, I had a girfriend from somewhere in Canada. Where was it again? Let me think … Got it! Minnesota. That’s it. Anyhoo, she was living down here in God’s country while she was going to college, and was continually amazed to to hear the children speak with Southern accents. As if everyone in America were born speaking Midwest Flat, but eventually became corrupted by their environs. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/33 "2006-09-24T11:56:42Z")
I can’t work out whether he’s kidding or not. I’m looking for the joke, but can’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/34 "2006-09-24T12:07:00Z")
I feel your pain, **Shag**. Both my husband and I grew up in or around Boston, but neither of us have the accent. My daughter’s first daycare providers, however, did. She learned to talk saying things like ‘Chay-ar’ for ‘chair’. That’s not _why_ we switched providers, but I was secretly quite relieved when we did. Of course, last week she came home and had learned “word” with a little hand-punch from a pint-sized, gold-chain-wearing hoodlum in her class, but that’s a different battle. ---
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/35 "2006-09-24T12:19:00Z")
Y’all never heard of “banned in Boston”, where the Lowell’s talk only to Cabot’s and the Cabot’s talk only to God? The stronger a parent reacts to this type thing, the more indelible it’s imprinted in a chilsd’s mind. ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/36 "2006-09-24T12:33:47Z")
I thought it was entertaining and hyperbolic. Oh well. I guess I have to pass on the oblique criticism of parenting skills based on one silly post. Y’all carry on with that. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/37 "2006-09-24T13:38:11Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] If I must explain, “wicked” is a Massachusetts-ism, perhaps one of the most unattractive variants of God’s language. I am born and bred Southerner and although my wife is from Massachusetts, she certainly doesn’t have a Boston accent either. I detest all of the different versions of the Boston accents and believe that it is rarely , if ever, an asset to anyone. If we lived in the South, I would discourage the “aint’s” and other ugly language usages common there as well as the Bronx etc. [/QUOTE] I know you’re distraught over the whole “wicked” issue, but lemme tell you, you should be proud. Your daughter is doing her best to keep America from becoming a homogenized parody of the Midwest, and for that, you should be thankful. If only I were kidding. Robin ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/38 "2006-09-24T13:51:23Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] I am amazed at the number of whooshed posters who do not realize that **Shag** simply objects to his child, bearing ancestral South’rn blood in her veins, expressing herself using New England regionalisms. (On the other hand, I am distressed to see him go so far as to make her live in a Chevy SUV to try to keep her from language contamination.) [/QUOTE] You and others have it right. The general idea in the story is real. I really don’t care for the Massachusetts accents and my wife likes them even less. My daughter favors me as much as an opposite sex child can yet it is jarring to see her have a speech pattern that is diverging from something I never knew growing up I am sure that many parents that raise kids far away from their own home region feel the same way deep down unless that change is a clear improvement socially speaking. My writing style (and my speaking style even) tends to whoosh some people badly and those that don’t get it tend to hate me. It is written to emphasize hyperbole and the feelings felt. To those of you who reject the basic idea, wouldn’t you be a little alarmed if your progeny started displaying symptoms of a valley girl, redneck, or Bronx accent if that wasn’t the style of speech used by you. There has to be some limit right? Speech pattern education belongs in the parenting realm as much or more than most things because it is so important. I grew up in a seriously tiny redneck town. Even though my mother has a strong Texas accent, she didn’t have some poor country characteristics that the people around us had. I remember her clearly forcing me to say “on” instead of “own” (as in, “I left my keys own the table”) because she thought it sounded ignorant and it really did. Same idea. Using the word wicked in the rest of the English speaking world will get you mocking laughs at best. ---
**Author:** ![Roonwit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Roonwit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roonwit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/39 "2006-09-24T14:09:59Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] You and others have it right. The general idea in the story is real. I really don’t care for the Massachusetts accents and my wife likes them even less. [/QUOTE] See? The rest of y’all just ain’t paying attention. > [@](#): > > My daughter favors me as much as an opposite sex child can… My goodness. You _are_ from the south, aren’t you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2006, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914/40 "2006-09-24T14:28:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] You and others have it right. The general idea in the story is real. [/QUOTE] So, you really do have her locked up in a Chevy SUV? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-upon-us-my-daughter-is-using-bad-language/373914.md?page=3)