# It is WAY too cold.... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 8, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105 "2001-10-08T13:20:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/1 "2001-10-08T13:20:39Z")
To have sex in the woods today. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/2 "2001-10-08T13:21:45Z")
It’s never too cold to have sex in the woods. Just think friction… ahhhh, wonderful, sensual friction. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/3 "2001-10-08T13:25:19Z")
Sex in the woods is so awkward. “Um, honey? There’s a twig in my back.” And having to check each other for ticks just kills the romance. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/4 "2001-10-08T13:27:13Z")
That ain’t a twig, darlin’… Ah, to be a stick or branch… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/5 "2001-10-08T13:27:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*And having to check each other for ticks just kills the romance. \*\* If I was one to use sigs, I’d want to use this!! Cracked me up big time!!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/6 "2001-10-08T13:27:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*It’s never too cold to have sex in the woods. Just think friction… ahhhh, wonderful, sensual friction. \*\* Well, you can come up here and have sex in the woods with **Bluesman** , then, ‘cause it’s way too cold for me, and he’s rarin’ to go! ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/7 "2001-10-08T13:29:56Z")
You just have to make sure to set it up right… find a good sized rock, lay a nice, warm blanket down, make sure you have a thermos full of nice, hot chocolate… Mmmmmm… I wonder if I can find any unoccupied woods on Long Island today… ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/8 "2001-10-08T13:30:06Z")
And here I was thinkin’ **Bluesman** was asexual… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/9 "2001-10-08T13:37:22Z")
**ChiefScott**!! [breathy Kathleen Turner voice] Hey, baby. [/bKTv] ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/10 "2001-10-08T13:37:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*That ain’t a twig, darlin’… \*\* With my kind of lesbo sex, it damn well better be. ---
**Author:** ![Bluesman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/97f17d/32.png) [@Bluesman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bluesman)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/11 "2001-10-08T13:38:21Z")
Nah, Chief, we Air Force men dig chicks! We’re **A PLUS** sexual! (Extra credit on oral exams.) ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/12 "2001-10-08T13:47:05Z")
I hear that about you wingnuts **BM** … talk, talk, talk. Going about the sex act all stealthy and shit. [breathless Roger Rabbit voice] Hey, b-b-b-b-baby. [/bRRv] ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/13 "2001-10-08T14:07:40Z")
So sex in the snow is right out, then? Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/14 "2001-10-08T14:16:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*So sex in the snow is right out, then? > > Damn. \*\* If you’re willing to be on the bottom, I think I can help you out. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/15 "2001-10-08T16:54:59Z")
Things are looking up…so to speak! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/16 "2001-10-08T17:15:52Z")
It snowed here last night, a couple inches ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/17 "2001-10-08T17:47:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*So sex in the snow is right out, then? > > Damn. \*\* Well, you’re welcome to think about it. ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/18 "2001-10-08T18:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*That ain’t a twig, darlin’… > > Ah, to be a stick or branch… \*\* [http://www.wmich.edu/english/tchg/lit/pms/herrick.vine.html](http://www.wmich.edu/english/tchg/lit/pms/herrick.vine.html) The greatest baudy poem of all time ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/19 "2001-10-08T19:00:43Z")
Yeah, I was out in the woods yesterday. My partner was wearing far more clothing than usual and telling me to hurry up, my hands were cold, my balls didn’t feel right, my shaft just didn’t have the right “flex” to it and I thought, “Damn, it’s too cold to lose a golf ball in the woods today.” Lucretia, you can always go inside for sex. But in a couple of weeks, I’m going to be done swinging for four to five months. No more standing around thinking about my putts. Believe me, four months without golf is worse than four months without sex. Well, no it isn’t. But I’m still bummed. Maybe I’ll just think about sex, indoors. With a shapely golf pro. ---
**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2001, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105/20 "2001-10-08T19:58:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\*So sex in the snow is right out, then? > > Damn. \*\* mmmmmmmmm… sex in the snow _sigh_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-is-way-too-cold/86105.md?page=2)