# "It" needs a new name **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837 "2008-04-18T03:30:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/1 "2008-04-18T03:30:24Z")
Because we have a lot of time on our hands and it’s just the way things go sometime, by brother and I were musing the other day about the inequity in the naming of certain … uhm … body parts. We agree that the clinical names for female genitalia actually sound feminine – onomatopaeic, as it were. But boy bits, well, not so much. Oh, we don’t have a problem with most of them. I mean, “scrotum” is especially appropriate. But the main one, which we know has a Latin etymology and probably sounded quite appropriate to the ancient Roman ear, just isn’t … well, MASCULINE enough. Sounds kind of … diminutive, if ya’ know what I mean. So we’re trying to come up with a new name for the guy. It has to sound clinical (no slang terms, please) and it has to sound masculine. Well, okay, you can have a little fun with it. Suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/2 "2008-04-18T03:38:04Z")
Here’s my view of the matter: there’s no reason to give something a pet name unless it will come when you call it. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/3 "2008-04-18T03:52:14Z")
Ah, but we’re not looking for a pet name here. I’m talking about the official nomenclature. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/4 "2008-04-18T12:06:59Z")
It’s never bugged me, but I see what you’re getting at. The slang terms for it are generally good, though - they get the tone right. So let’s adapt one of those, Germanify it for manliness, and you can reach out and say hello to your… _Wangenschlanger_. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/5 "2008-04-18T12:11:16Z")
> [@](#): > > But the main one, which we know has a Latin etymology and probably sounded quite appropriate to the ancient Roman ear, just isn’t … well, MASCULINE enough. Sounds kind of … diminutive, if ya’ know what I mean. Not MASCULINE enough? It’s Mightier than the Sword! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/6 "2008-04-18T12:24:49Z")
You know, since the OP calls this “It”, I can’t help thinking about how that meaning gives new interpretation to book and movie titles: \*\*Stephen King’s “It” It! – The Terror from Beyond Space It Came From Outer Space It Came From Beneath the Sea Some Like It Hot It Happened One Night Play It Again Sam You Can’t Take It With You Leave It to Beaver It Came Upon a Midnight Clear As You Like It\*\* ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/7 "2008-04-18T12:35:46Z")
It Was an Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weeny, Yellow Polka Dot Bikini? ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/8 "2008-04-18T16:47:28Z")
My 2 year old cousin calls it his “yang.” I think it’s a rather elegant choice. Not \*quite \* as crass as “wang” but still contains the essence of genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/9 "2008-04-18T16:49:38Z")
And that’s the male half of the old yin-yang, so it’s sort of appropriate. You won’t catch me calling it a “yang,” but it’s not bad. ---
**Author:** ![beanpod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9adbd/32.png) [@beanpod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beanpod)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/10 "2008-04-18T16:59:24Z")
That’s what I’m saying–not bad for a toddler. Somehow I don’t think he took ancient philosophy into account, though. I didn’t even think of that–it is probably too disrespectful. ---
**Author:** ![Eben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a8b319/32.png) [@Eben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eben)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/11 "2008-04-18T18:03:17Z")
I’m a big fan of urinator. Not gender specific, but definately has a masculine feel. -Eben ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/12 "2008-04-18T18:19:03Z")
[QUOTE=Eben] I’m a big fan of urinator. Not gender specific, but definately has a masculine feel. [/QUOTE] Plus, it leaves out the whole other function, but you’re on the right track. Hmm… maybe pregnator? I kind of liked “phallus”, but my colleagues in the English grad classes I’m taking tell me the phallus isn’t the symbol of the penis, but the other way around. Still, I like phallus. Or lingam. I like that one, too. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/13 "2008-04-18T18:25:43Z")
Behold, the power of… Organzola. Hey, it’s better than Heddar or Peccoreamo. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/14 "2008-04-18T18:31:48Z")
_Schtuppenslanger_. It’s kinda “manned up” and has a action feel to it. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/15 "2008-04-18T18:32:21Z")
I’ve got nothin’, except for the [obligatory Monty Python link.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm9GVfke0YY) ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/16 "2008-04-18T18:41:05Z")
[QUOTE=Eben] I’m a big fan of urinator. Not gender specific, but definately has a masculine feel. -Eben [/QUOTE] I like this a lot. Immediatley Arnold Schwartzenegger’s voice popped in my head so we have to add a “The” because it gives it an air of authority. “The Urinator” ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/17 "2008-04-18T19:32:48Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] So we’re trying to come up with a new name for the guy. It has to sound clinical (no slang terms, please) and it has to sound masculine. Well, okay, you can have a little fun with it. Suggestions? [/QUOTE] The “Hunglikea Horsical”. Or the “Fruit-of-the-Loomular”. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/18 "2008-04-18T19:44:31Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Not MASCULINE enough? It’s Mightier than the Sword! [/QUOTE] I need to watch Celebrity Jeopardy! ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/19 "2008-04-18T20:00:06Z")
I vote for Urinator. Sounds quite manly! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/20 "2008-04-18T20:04:39Z")
Penetrator is pretty good. It starts out with “PEN” so it’s really just a continuation of penis. And it’s so over-the-top butch. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837.md?page=2)