# "It" needs a new name **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837 "2008-04-18T03:30:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/21 "2008-04-18T20:07:25Z")
So “Ding-a-ling” is right out? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/22 "2008-04-18T23:45:08Z")
Bedong. Accent on the 2nd syllable. Accenting the 1st syllable changes it to a verb. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/23 "2008-04-20T05:07:49Z")
You guys are not taking this seriously. That’s okay. You’re guys. I love ya’ anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/24 "2008-04-20T05:18:05Z")
Well, let’s see. Spartacus? Has a kind of old timey, latin-like feel to the name. And you can say, over and over again, “I am Spartacus.” Krakatoa? So long as you are East of Java, so is it. Saturn 1 – yes, I do have a rocket in my pocket. MyManosaurus Rex – just has a ring to it. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/25 "2008-04-20T05:40:09Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > Here’s my view of the matter: there’s no reason to give something a pet name unless it will come when you call it. Clearly you haven’t met _my_, um, pet. **CalMeacham** , I think “Penis Happened One Night” would be a great title for a romantic comedy, or maybe a historical epic. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/26 "2008-04-20T05:40:27Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] So we’re trying to come up with a new name for the guy. It has to sound clinical (no slang terms, please) and it has to sound masculine. Well, okay, you can have a little fun with it. Suggestions? [/QUOTE] 1. Ejaculate Dispenser 9000 (because adding big numbers to things makes it very masculine) 2. 1920s Style Death Ray? 3. The “meatus” (pronounced me-aye-tus) sounds rather masculine, but that’s the clinical name for the uretral opening. So maybe you could just make up something and stick meatus at the end of it. 4. The Birthing Gun (or if you’re a KISS fan: The Love Gun) 5. The Inseminator (You’re right about adding “the” to things to make it more important, it works!) 6. “The Rod” 7. The Joystick 8. The Erectile Tissue 9000! (hmm… adding The + large numbers doesn’t work) 9. The Meatus Stick (only if you say it right) 10. Sean. Sean Connery. (Okay, I got nothing at that point) ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/27 "2008-04-20T05:51:30Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Not MASCULINE enough? It’s Mightier than the Sword! [/QUOTE] True story (I may have mentioned this before)… The New York Times Sunday Crossword, probably 12-15 years ago, had a clue one week: “The \_\_\_\_\_ mightier than the sword” (5 letters) I didn’t think anything of it until I wrote down the answer…wish I had saved a copy! ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/28 "2008-04-20T06:05:04Z")
Everyone say hello to the Phallangicum. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2008, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/29 "2008-04-20T06:57:29Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Bus Guy] Everyone say hello to the Phallangicum. [/QUOTE] Frankly, if it only cums via phalanges, that’s just sad… ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/30 "2008-04-23T12:11:35Z")
The lower cerebellum. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/31 "2008-04-23T16:24:41Z")
A friend of my misspent youth was fond of the phrase “Heat-seeking moisture missile,” which I suppose might be referred to by its acronym, HSMM. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837/32 "2008-04-23T16:55:19Z")
[QUOTE=Sunrazor] We agree that the clinical names for female genitalia actually sound feminine – onomatopaeic, as it were. [/QUOTE] Onomatopoeic? I have never heard female genitalia make any noises even remotely close to the sound of one of their clinical names. I ran through a few of these names in my head, though, and imagined them coming from a woman’s nether regions. I found it amusing. Not useful or relevant, but amusing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-needs-a-new-name/445837.md?page=1)