# It really happened! (dumb ass clerk)
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [May 20, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858 "2007-05-20T22:27:39Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2007, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/1 "2007-05-20T22:27:39Z")
We joke about it, comedians make it part of their routine, but yesterday it actually to me.
I was on my way home from Dubuque. I was starving so I did something I rarely do, I went through a McDonalds drive through located in Madison, Wisconsin. It was exactly 11:43am (I’m reading off the receipt). My total due was $4.67. I gave the girl at the register window $5.67 so I could get a solid buck back.
She just stared at the money. And stared at it. and stared at it.
Then she gave me the 67 cents back. “Your total is only $4.67”.
Yes, I replied. But I don’t want any more change, I want a solid buck.
She took the money, placed it in the till, and return 2 dollars to me.
“you gave me a buck too much”, I said.
[pissy!]No I didn’t. $5.67 minus $4.67 is two dollars!
If you insist! 😃
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### Author:  [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2007, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/2 "2007-05-20T23:15:20Z")
You’re surprised at this? The only cashiers I’ve ran into who can subtract are those born outside the country.
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### Author:  [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2007, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/3 "2007-05-20T23:37:42Z")
usually the nice machine tells you the change to give to the customer.
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### Author:  [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/4 "2007-05-20T23:47:24Z")
I had a stranger experience, when [STOPPING FOR GAS IN GEORGIA](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150731&highlight=Florida+trick).
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### Author:  [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)
#### Post date: [May 20, 2007, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/5 "2007-05-20T23:50:29Z")
[QUOTE=pkbites]
I was starving so I did something I rarely do, I went through a McDonalds drive through located in Madison, Wisconsin.
[/QUOTE]
I, too, rarely go through McDonalds drive throughs located in Madison, Wisconsin. In fact, I’ve never been to Wisconsin. 😉
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/6 "2007-05-21T00:36:35Z")
Sounds rather like my [recent experience at Taco Bell](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8558840&postcount=224). Morons, the lot of 'em.
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### Author:  [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/7 "2007-05-21T01:17:27Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor]
I had a stranger experience, when [STOPPING FOR GAS IN GEORGIA](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150731&highlight=Florida+trick).
[/QUOTE]
Oh. Mah. Gawd.
Bosda. Honey. Baby. PLEASE let me repost that over at Mock the Stupid?
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/8 "2007-05-21T02:14:57Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor]
I had a stranger experience, when [STOPPING FOR GAS IN GEORGIA](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=150731&highlight=Florida+trick).
[/QUOTE]
I can’t top it like your thread asks. I do have a Georgia story, though:
In October of '97 I was “somewhere” in Georgia, north of Macon. I had flown to Miami to pick up a vehicle and was driving it to Milwaukee. It was after midnight when I stopped for gas and attempted to use the fleet gas card that came with the vehicle. Little did I know the card was reported stolen 2 years prior in Boston. 2 local law men showed up and started to interview me and pat me down. I had a big 'ol Ruger P89 on me. Legally, but that still didn’t make things easier. “What’s a cop from Wisconsin doing here with a stolen credit card?” was the 64k question.
After 2 hours I was sent on my way. Without the card.
Am I allowed to hijack my own thread? 😕
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### Author:  [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/9 "2007-05-21T02:23:05Z")
My sister took her daughter to an Office Max the other day so said child could buy something which totaled $5 plus a bit of change. Said child placed 3 two-dollar bills on the counter. The checker picked them up puzzled and asked “What are these?” Young neice replied “Two dollar bills.” Said checker called to her manager and asked “How much is 3 two-dollar bills?”
Doesn’t ask “Does our great country make two dollar bills, or is this play money?” Nope, takes currency she’s never seen, but just can’t do the math.
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### Author:  [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/10 "2007-05-21T02:48:49Z")
Sometimes as you’re leaving the drive-thru, you just know that person is at the pinnacle of their professional career.
My story.
Usual setup, late night drive-thru food substitute.
My total was 5.87. While waiting for the car ahead of me to leave I rummage through the change in the cup holder and fish out 12 cents. Arriving at the window I hand the nice young lady 6 dollars and 12 cents. She looks at the money, looks at me, looks at the money again and tries to hand the change back. Being in a reasonably good, and therefor tolerant, mood I simply tell her to “Just ring it up.” She does, and I swear this is the first time I’ve seen true awe on someone’s face, hands me my quarter change and says, “You knew.” All I could do was smile agreeably and wait for my pseudo-food.
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/11 "2007-05-21T03:03:04Z")
In respect to Georgia, a friend of my family who is an ex-colonel swears this is a true story: when Hawaii was a territory but not a state, he had just been transferred back from there to Fort Benning. He was driving with his wife on some East Bumfuck country road in Georgia and got pulled over for speeding. He had to go to court the next day (and was in all kinds of trouble because they didn’t have any cash, etc.) and the judge looked at his Hawaii drivers’ license and told him that the state of Georgia does not recognize foreign licenses.
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/12 "2007-05-21T03:09:27Z")
Many Years ago my brother had a clerk say"you owe me $4.23". He quickly slapped down $8.46 and said “No, **YOU** owe **ME** $4.23”.
She didn’t think it was cute nor funny. She gave him his change but not her phone number. 😛
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### Author:  [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/13 "2007-05-21T03:49:07Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia]
In respect to Georgia, a friend of my family who is an ex-colonel swears this is a true story: when Hawaii was a territory but not a state, he had just been transferred back from there to Fort Benning. He was driving with his wife on some East Bumfuck country road in Georgia and got pulled over for speeding. He had to go to court the next day (and was in all kinds of trouble because they didn’t have any cash, etc.) and the judge looked at his Hawaii drivers’ license and told him that the state of Georgia does not recognize foreign licenses.
[/QUOTE]
In 1990, my husband and I were living in Hawai’i, where he was stationed in the Army. When his grandmother died back here in Columbus, his mother had to go through the Red Cross to get emergency leave authorized. The person from the Red Cross repeatedly asked Mom for our APO number. Mother kept telling him that Hawaii was a state and therefore didn’t have APO numbers, and he kept asking for the APO number - and insisted he could not process the request without one. He kept saying that “all foreign duty stations have an APO number”. She finally got pissed (her mother had just died, and she was flat on her back after having back surgery) and told the idiot to hand her off to a supervisor.
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### Author:  [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/14 "2007-05-21T04:21:48Z")
Hey, you could have gotten [this guy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=408055&highlight=safeway+checker)!
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/15 "2007-05-21T05:24:39Z")
Approximately 1994 at the Taco Bell near Knollwood Mall in St. Jewish…er, St. _Louis_ Park MN.
I order the three taco meal combo. I sit down and open the first one. Nothing but meat and lettuce. No cheese. Open second and third ones in sequence, also no cheese. I go up to the counter and the supervisor comes over and asks me what is wrong. I say “There is no cheese on my tacos”.
Dim witted girl making the food spins around in utter shock.
_"You put **cheese** on your tacos???_
:eek:
Yeah. So should you.
Without a word, the supervisor stabs her finger at the food prep chart, then dumps my tacos in the garbage and says to the girl "this is coming out of your paycheck.
I said “Heck, you didn’t have to do that, you could have just given me some cheese!”
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### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/16 "2007-05-21T06:08:11Z")
[QUOTE=pkbites]
Many Years ago my brother had a clerk say"you owe me $4.23". He quickly slapped down $8.46 and said “No, **YOU** owe **ME** $4.23”.
[/QUOTE]
How does one quickly slap down $8.46? Seems like it would take at least a bit of fumbling with coins and bills to get the exact amount, and by then the window of opportunity for a quick/witty response would be lost.
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### Author:  [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/17 "2007-05-21T09:21:43Z")
I was at the card store earlier this month. The cashier, a middle-aged woman, rang my card up and told me, “That’s $2.49.” I hadn’t looked at the price of the card, so I assumed this was correct. I handed over three bucks and put out my little paw for my two quarters and a penny. She gives me thirty-eight cents.
“That’s not right,” I say. “Two forty-nine plus a penny is two fifty, plus fifty cents is three dollars. You should give me fifty-one cents.” This boggles her. Counting change is clearly meaningless in her universe. She tells me her register says she owes me thirty-eight cents. I tell her it’s wrong. “Unless,” I add, thinking I have may have spotted the problem, “there was tax you forgot to mention.”
She pulls out the receipt and hands it to me. Ah. There was tax she didn’t mention.The total is actually $2.62. Thirty-eight cents is correct. Smart machine. Except I don’t want pennies. I hoard my silver for the parking meter. I return the thirty-eight cents and give her two pennies. She now owes me forty cents of lovely meterable silver. Mistake.
She’s totally flustered with this transaction now. She can’t figure it out. She’s clearly afraid she’s going to mess something up; maybe I’m trying to scam her or something! “I’m new at this,” she explains.
Okay, it’s one thing to be new at working a register, but subtraction was third grade. I thought it, but I didn’t say it. She put two quarters on the counter. I could practically see her brain leaking out her ears, but I didn’t want to take advantage. I don’t need another freckle on my karma for a mere dime.
“Now that’s too much. You should just give me forty cents.”
“I’ll just void this out and ring it up again,” she said.
Sorry, but no. I do not have time to accommodate your stupidity. I put down another dime, took the two quarters and left her to sort out her register by herself. I hope she eventually realized the numbers lined up. But I wouldn’t bet on it.
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/18 "2007-05-21T11:45:39Z")
Last time I went up to NC, I was stopped at a quickie mart in SC. My total was something like $3.13. So as I start digging for change, I tell the clerk, “Hold on. I’ve got a 13-cent coin here somewhere.”
His response? “Wow, I aint never seen one of them!” Either he was a great actor or total dumbass and I didn’t see any Oscars on the shelf.
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### Author:  [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/19 "2007-05-21T15:01:16Z")
[QUOTE=Rigamarole]
How does one quickly slap down $8.46? Seems like it would take at least a bit of fumbling with coins and bills to get the exact amount, and by then the window of opportunity for a quick/witty response would be lost.
[/QUOTE]
He made the exact purchase many times before and was prepared. He wanted to get to know the cashier and was trying to be witty.
He failed. 😛
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### Author:  [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)
#### Post date: [May 21, 2007, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-really-happened-dumb-ass-clerk/404858/20 "2007-05-21T15:20:34Z")
[QUOTE=Zsofia]
In respect to Georgia, a friend of my family who is an ex-colonel swears this is a true story: when Hawaii was a territory but not a state, he had just been transferred back from there to Fort Benning. He was driving with his wife on some East Bumfuck country road in Georgia and got pulled over for speeding. He had to go to court the next day (and was in all kinds of trouble because they didn’t have any cash, etc.) and the judge looked at his Hawaii drivers’ license and told him that the state of Georgia does not recognize foreign licenses.
[/QUOTE]
I was eyewitness to a similar event far more recently. In 1996, we moved from Japan to GA and went to get driver’s licenses. The woman would not accept Papa Tiger’s brand-new valid Guam driver’s license that said “GUAM USA” across the top (that he’d taken a detour to Guam just to get since his old Guam license from his pre-Japan days was expired). She kept insisting that it wasn’t a valid US license and he’d have to take the whole test. It took ten minutes of arguing with her to get her to call a supervisor in Atlanta who assured her that, yes indeed, a Guam license IS a valid US license. I’m not sure she even believed the supervisor, but at least she gave him the GA license.
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