# It should be illegal for parent to kick their children out of their homes **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 22, 2018, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637 "2018-05-22T22:57:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/61 "2018-05-23T13:48:19Z")
The article doesn’t tell us why the parents opted to evict their grown son… We’re assuming it’s because he’s approaching middle age and is mooching off them, but perhaps his behavior is intolerable. You can’t physically force a grown man to flush the toilet after himself, put his clipped fingernails in the trash, get dirty dishes out of his room before mold and maggots appear, or refrain from verbally abusing his parents. And the response to “I didn’t ask to be born” is “Neither did we!” Since the parents also didn’t ask to be born, they don’t need to be responsible, either. ---
**Author:** ![Jasmine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jasmine/32/2964_2.png) [@Jasmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jasmine)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/62 "2018-05-23T13:50:57Z")
[**A judge sides with parents and rules their 30-year-old son must move out.**](https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html) > [@](#): > > Judge: ‘I think the notice is sufficient’ > > During the hearing on Tuesday, Michael represented himself and cited the case of Kosa v. Legg: “that there is 'Common law requirement of six-month notice to quit before tenant may be removed through ejectment action.” > > But New York State Supreme Court Judge Donald Greenwood disagreed. > “I’m granting the eviction,” he said. “I think the notice is sufficient.” > > After court, Rotondo told reporters he plans to appeal the case and finds the ruling “ridiculous.” > > “It seems to me like I should be provided with, you know, 30 days or so, because generally you get 30 days after you’re found, you know, to have to vacate the premises,” he said. “So I’m expecting something like that. But realistically, if that’s not the case, I don’t know.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/63 "2018-05-23T13:55:57Z")
> [@Xema](#): > > In the case of an adult child, any rational view of human history & human nature clearly shows that it is exactly the opposite. > > In reality, what’s stunningly thoughtless and deeply cruel is encouraging your adult child to remain helpless and dependent. It’s one of the nastiest things any parent could do. The other common version where a grown child stays with their parents beyond adulthood involves the child becoming the caretaker. That’s fine if it’s voluntary on all parts, but it’s neither something I believe children should have to do, nor that it should be done in that specific way. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/64 "2018-05-23T14:00:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The parents gave the child life and eighteen years’ worth of food, clothing, and shelter. How are you saying the parents owe the child at that point? Shouldn’t the child be in debt to the parents? The children never asked for this “life,” the parents impose that on to their offspring. The person never asked to be brought into a world where they would need food, clothing, shelter; the parents created that need where there was none before. Parents are enduringly indebted to their offspring, not the other way around. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/65 "2018-05-23T14:03:42Z")
I don’t agree with you in principle. However, I have a 23 year old man living in my basement, so I can’t really argue against it too much. ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/66 "2018-05-23T14:05:41Z")
> [@Jasmine](#): > > Do you realize, Marcus, that your philosophy is that of the classic “enabler”? “Enablers” actually help an individual maintain a useless/unhealthy/dangerous/unproductive lifestyle by treating that person in such a way that it is much easier for that person to maintain that kind of lifestyle. A good parent never does that. A good parent makes the tough decisions necessary to guide that person into a healthy, productive adult lifestyle because that’s what it’s all about. If you groom your child to be a useless slug who drains the resources of others, why have a child? Society would be better off without your kid. > > I have a friend who discovered her daughter is an addict. Part of the process was for HER to get counseling about the whole concept of “enabling” and what to do or not do in order to avoid being one. She discovered, much to her dismay, that she unknowingly fit the description and has since made the necessary changes to help her daughter move forward as opposed to “helping” her remain what she has been. > > I think you should research the whole subject of “enabling” because it is apparent to me that you just don’t grasp that very important dynamic. A good parent doesn’t “enable.” But a good parent also doesn’t force their offspring from their home, no matter how old. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/67 "2018-05-23T14:15:20Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > The children never asked for this “life,” the parents impose that on to their offspring. The person never asked to be brought into a world where they would need food, clothing, shelter; the parents created that need where there was none before. Parents are enduringly indebted to their offspring, not the other way around. An 18 year old adult has the option and right to opt out of life if he finds it so unbearably onerous. Unless said young adult is the type who lacks the courage of his convictions and prefers instead to hold a grudge. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/68 "2018-05-23T14:21:38Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > A good parent doesn’t “enable.” But a good parent also doesn’t force their offspring from their home, no matter how old. I know many happy, successful, well adjusted adults who left home and started their own lives independent of their parents. Indeed, eagerly. I know very few (none actually) who stayed and did not profoundly regret doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/69 "2018-05-23T14:21:43Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Can I ask whether you are a parent? Whether you have a great relationship with your own parents? And, do you live with them and do they support you? > > Just curious is all. I’m curious, as \*\*Ulfreida \*\*asks, what the relationship is between the OP and his parents. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/70 "2018-05-23T14:22:48Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > …Parents are enduringly indebted to their offspring… This seems to be the premise upon which your argument hinges. It has… flaws. The most fundamental of which has already been noted: every human being has an avenue of redress if they do not care for the (admittedly mixed and challenging) gift of life. You don’t like it, you get to leave. Hell, death is one of only two fundamental rights we accrue at birth. We get to live, and we get to die, and we always have the latter option. (I say that as a psychotherapist and suicide crisis counselor, so understand that I am not being flippant.) But in sidestepping that, you seem to be suggesting that the opportunity to be alive is not itself sufficient, and that those who afforded you that opportunity somehow “owe” you more. More options, more opportunities, more comfort, more whatever it is you think will make life…what, easier? Better? What’s the end game? If parents owe their kids a lifetime of ease (or as much as they can provide), what is that debt in service of? . ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/71 "2018-05-23T14:23:25Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > But a good parent also doesn’t force their offspring from their home, no matter how old. Does this apply to birds? I ask because there was a robin’s nest right outside my home until recently. The mean ol’ birds made all the poor chicks leave the nest. I bet the fledglings didn’t even ask to be born. ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/72 "2018-05-23T14:29:13Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > … a good parent also doesn’t force their offspring from their home, no matter how old. A good parent would rarely see the need come up - children would have been raised so that they expect to strike out confidently on their own, without being forced. But kids occasionally need some forcing - in this and other matters. When they do, consistent failure to apply it is cowardly and contemptible. It’s at least analogous to parents emotionally or sexually abusing their children in that it can screw up their children’s lives for years to come. In case I’m not making myself clear: Your views on this subject appear to be spectacularly, profoundly, egregiously wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/73 "2018-05-23T14:35:08Z")
The first thing I thought when reading the OP, is this is a young non-parent writing who feels sorry for himself and wishes he had a sugar daddy. Your advice would lead the rapid end of civilization for all the reasons others have said. Most of one’s happiness comes from the accomplishment’s one personally achieves. Adults living in their parent’s basements are not people I am going to want to hang out with. My son (who has had some setbacks) probably thinks somewhat along the lines of the OP. He has said only billionaires should have children so that the children never have to work (another brilliant long-term plan). However, after being poor for a while and finally finding a job that suits him, he is actually happy and doing things he likes to do like travel. Maybe he will stop asking when we are taking him on our next vacation. ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/74 "2018-05-23T14:37:06Z")
Also what happens when the adults who have lifetime privileges of not being productive have children of their own? ---
**Author:** ![Marcus\_Flavius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@Marcus\_Flavius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marcus_Flavius)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/75 "2018-05-23T14:39:36Z")
I’ve seen a lot of “well, if they don’t like life, they can kill themselves” comments. That’s like kidnapping someone, chaining there leg to a wall, and telling them, “hey, if you don’t like it here, you can use the hacksaw I gave you to saw through your foot and leave.” ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/76 "2018-05-23T14:41:39Z")
> [@Mikemike2](#): > > Also what happens when the adults who have lifetime privileges of not being productive have children of their own? We crown them as royalty. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/77 "2018-05-23T14:44:31Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I’ve seen a lot of “well, if they don’t like life, they can kill themselves” comments. > > That’s like kidnapping someone, chaining there leg to a wall, and telling them, “hey, if you don’t like it here, you can use the hacksaw I gave you to saw through your foot and leave.” It’s actually nothing like that because in the case of the former you get to keep all your limbs. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/78 "2018-05-23T14:48:01Z")
> [@Marcus\_Flavius](#): > > I’ve seen a lot of “well, if they don’t like life, they can kill themselves” comments. > > That’s like kidnapping someone, chaining there leg to a wall, and telling them, “hey, if you don’t like it here, you can use the hacksaw I gave you to saw through your foot and leave.” No it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/79 "2018-05-23T14:51:58Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > But, let’s say I agree with you, that I am obligated to provide for my children for as long as they wish. There’s a pretty major problem looming. I’m likely to predecease my children by at least a few decades. What happens to my 50ish year old child who’s never stood on his own two feet when I die? **Marcus** , I wish you would address this, please. > [@Ashtura](#): > > I don’t agree with you in principle. However, I have a 23 year old man living in my basement, so I can’t really argue against it too much. We have a 24 year old at home. He doesn’t want us to listen to this story. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/80 "2018-05-23T14:52:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The parents gave the child life and eighteen years’ worth of food, clothing, and shelter. How are you saying the parents owe the child at that point? Shouldn’t the child be in debt to the parents? IMO if you look at it as an economic transaction in this way, it doesn’t make sense. I think you do owe your kids, while they still need it. However, I think there’s often a transition point where parents say “You’re mature enough now, our relationship needs to change, we won’t pay for everything anymore”. Hopefully in each case parents can do that in a good way at a suitable time. It’s probably different every time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637.md?page=5)