# It should be illegal for parent to kick their children out of their homes **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [May 22, 2018, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637 "2018-05-22T22:57:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/121 "2018-05-24T00:45:42Z")
In at least some jurisdictions, including the one where I live, your parents typically CAN’T throw you out of the family home. Not even in housing court - there may be some exceptions if the kid created a tenancy by paying rent or signing a lease. The legal theory is not the silly one espoused by the OP, but the theory that ALL family members have an equal legal right to reside in the family home, regardless of who pays the bills. These policies are also driven by public health and safety concerns, as thousands of homeless wives and teenagers aren’t good for anyone. I don’t think there’s anything in these laws that require the parents to actually feed and clothe the adult child, though. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/122 "2018-05-24T01:09:38Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > 1. The toxicity of a significant other can be mitigated. One of my sisters has an (occasionally) toxic spouse. If it weren’t for the fact that she absolutely loves his father, who has lived with them since they got married almost 25 years ago, I don’t think they’d still be married. Now, one could reasonably argue that they SHOULDN’T be married and I agree with this. But my sister benefits financially from the partnership. And raising two kids by herself would have been really hard on her. > > 2. The toxicity of parents can be mitigated. Mom and/or Dad might be irresponsible lay-abouts, but it’s not so tragic if Meemaw and Pop Pop are actually running the household with a stern but loving hand. You are assuming only one or two toxic members of a household. I wish to introduce you to [The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wild_and_Wonderful_Whites_of_West_Virginia) which is an entire _tribe_ of toxic individuals. They are also, regrettably, the cousins of my late mother-in-law and far too representative of too many of that extended family, which is why my late spouse lived hundreds of miles away from them. If my spouse had NOT cut ties with them he would never have gone to college, never earned his degree, never owned his own business, and never be assured of keeping either private possessions or needed medication (no joke - on the few occasions we visited his mother and the others were about we had to keep valuables and medications locked in our car, and also fend off constant requests to loan people our car keys). That is EXACTLY the sort of family where a person might do much better getting a continent away from them. You don’t “mitigate” such people, you get away from them, because there is only one of you and many of them. I used to joke my spouse was the “White Sheep” of the family because he was not involved in fraud, crime, drugs, etc. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Anconia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@D\_Anconia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Anconia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/123 "2018-05-24T01:22:57Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > In at least some jurisdictions, including the one where I live, your parents typically CAN’T throw you out of the family home. Not even in housing court - there may be some exceptions if the kid created a tenancy by paying rent or signing a lease. The legal theory is not the silly one espoused by the OP, but the theory that ALL family members have an equal legal right to reside in the family home, regardless of who pays the bills. These policies are also driven by public health and safety concerns, as thousands of homeless wives and teenagers aren’t good for anyone. Since this is Great Debates, do you have a cite for that? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/124 "2018-05-24T01:40:12Z")
From [the ABC News on this story](https://abcnews.go.com/US/30-year-ordered-vacate-parents-home-claims-harassed/story?id=55372570): > [@](#): > > Michael Rotondo, of Camillus, New York, **had been living rent-free** in his parents’ Syracuse-area home for eight years when a State Supreme Court judge ruled on Tuesday in his parents’ favor, ordering him to move out. [sub]bolding by Tripler[/sub] This tells me there was no landlord-tenant contract in place. IANAL, but if there is no contract in place, how can the legal process remedy this through eviction protections? > [@](#): > > “I’m not bothering them by living here,” Michael Rotondo said in an interview with ABC News’ “Good Morning America.” Mike . . . Mike, it’s not your house. I suspect the parents bought it and maintain the mortgage. I don’t quite see where Michael gets the privilege to make that sort of a statement. > [@](#): > > “It’s little to no cost to them, and considering how much they’ve harassed me, I think it’s the least that they should be required to do, which is just let me hang here a bit longer and use their hot water and electricity.” I’ll need a deli slicer for all this baloney. Any consumption of utilities costs money. And as indicated above, he’s not paying rent. I doubt there’s any arrangement for reimbursement of utilities. If there is no utility arrangement, then he is costing them money. “Should” is not a duty to act. There is no requirement to expend resources on someone who is not reimbursing those expenses. In an earlier version of reporting, I thought I saw something about Michael having a son of his own, and how he wasn’t able to see them. Bottom line: no landlord-tenant contract, then no eviction protection. If I had a buddy living on a couch for an extended period of time, I’d kick his ass out too after awhile. It **must** be legal to protect ones’ interest if there is no contract to obligate otherwise. Tripler My two cents goes to the parents to offset the cost of utilities. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/125 "2018-05-24T01:51:09Z")
> [@D\_Anconia](#): > > Since this is Great Debates, do you have a cite for that? This one is pretty good. It goes into a little more detail about the legal remedy - which is much more lengthy than a standard eviction case. And apparently you have to give the child a 6 month notice before you can even file the lawsuit. So the procedure probably takes a year, at minimum. > **[How to Evict an Adult Child in New York](https://legalbeagle.com/8435644-evict-adult-child-new-york.html)** > > New York state allows property owners to evict adult children — how they do it depends on whether or not they pay rent. If they do, they can be evicted like any other tenant. If they live on the property for free, the family member who wishes to... And here’s a good one that explains the legal theory. > **[The Fine Lines in Suing to Evict Tenants' Families](https://alblawfirm.com/articles/tenants-families/)** > > By Adam Leitman Bailey and Dov Treiman When it comes to subletting, relatives are in an entirely different category than other persons. Relatives stand at the boundary line between family members who occupy the premises as an incident of the family... And here are a couple of case summaries. The theory of the familial relationship conferring a right to occupancy is also mentioned. > **[Evictions of Family or an Adult Child in New York](https://www.longislandfamilylawandmediation.com/evictions-family-adult-child-new-york/)** > > In New York, parents owe an obligation to pay child support until their child is 21. The child support obligation is usually paid to the other parent. However, for other purposes such as child ... > **[Court Discusses Eviction of Family Member](https://www.newyorkfamilylawblog.com/custody_33/)** > > In this Special Proceedings case, petitioners are the owners of the Subject Property. Respondent moved into the Subject Property with her paramour after learning she was pregnant with the subject ... ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/126 "2018-05-24T01:53:09Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > You are assuming only one or two toxic members of a household… My use of the word “can”–as in “the toxicity of a spouse _can_ be mitigated”–indicates that I only stating one possibility out of many. I wasn’t making an assumption about anything. We could spend all day coming up with worst case scenarios for everything, including what could happen to someone who gets kicked out of the house before they are financially and emotionally ready. But trading horror stories about the extreme cases doesn’t advance the discussion very much, though. ---
**Author:** ![doreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/858c86/32.png) [@doreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doreen)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/127 "2018-05-24T01:54:53Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > In at least some jurisdictions, including the one where I live, your parents typically CAN’T throw you out of the family home. Not even in housing court - there may be some exceptions if the kid created a tenancy by paying rent or signing a lease. The legal theory is not the silly one espoused by the OP, but the theory that ALL family members have an equal legal right to reside in the family home, regardless of who pays the bills. These policies are also driven by public health and safety concerns, as thousands of homeless wives and teenagers aren’t good for anyone. > > I don’t think there’s anything in these laws that require the parents to actually feed and clothe the adult child, though. What jurisdiction is that- and are you sure it’s that the parents can’t remove the child from their home or is it that they can’t use an eviction proceeding? Because I know in New York ( city and state), you can’t evict a family member who does not have a lease and isn’t paying rent- but that doesn’t mean you can’t have them removed. It just means you have to file an ejection action in Supreme Court rather than an eviction proceeding in landlord-tenant court. Although a lot of articles referred to “eviction”, [Michael Rotondo’s](https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html) parents actually filed an ejection action. ETA - It took three months from when the parents first gave him notice in February , and when Rotondo brought up the “six months notice” , the judge apparently brought up an appellate decision that said six months notice was not necessary in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/128 "2018-05-24T01:57:21Z")
The point I’m trying to make is that there isn’t just one superior mode of living, and people should be able to choose what works for them - so long as it isn’t harming anyone else, or sucking away resources. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/129 "2018-05-24T02:02:11Z")
Can’t parents simply treat their children the same as unwanted intruders, by a certain age, and have them kicked out legally the same way a squatter can be kicked out (although of course the law still gives ridiculous protections to squatters?) ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/130 "2018-05-24T02:03:35Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > What jurisdiction is that- and are you sure it’s that the parents can’t remove the child from their home or is it that they can’t use an eviction proceeding? Because I know in New York ( city and state), you can’t evict a family member who does not have a lease and isn’t paying rent- but that doesn’t mean you can’t have them removed. It just means you have to file an ejection action in Supreme Court rather than an eviction proceeding in landlord-tenant court. Although a lot of articles referred to “eviction”, [Michael Rotondo’s](https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html) parents actually filed an ejection action. > ETA - It took three months from when the parents first gave him notice in February , and when Rotondo brought up the “six months notice” , the judge apparently brought up an appellate decision that said six months notice was not necessary in this case. I didn’t mean to imply that it was impossible. Bad editing on my part, I meant to go back in and mention the more involved ejection proceeding after I refreshed my memory. And I forgot. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/131 "2018-05-24T03:40:47Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > My use of the word “can”–as in “the toxicity of a spouse _can_ be mitigated”–indicates that I only stating one possibility out of many. I wasn’t making an assumption about anything. > > We could spend all day coming up with worst case scenarios for everything, including what could happen to someone who gets kicked out of the house before they are financially and emotionally ready. But trading horror stories about the extreme cases doesn’t advance the discussion very much, though. I know someone who kicked her daughter (well over 18) out after the daughter stole from her. Drinking and drugs are going to happen if she is in the house or out, but being out at least only damages one person. This woman has had plenty of warning signs. She has had therapy, which she rejects. It is a miracle she hasn’t wound up dead already. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/132 "2018-05-24T07:24:56Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Just to be fair, how about I mention a few benefits of a multi-generational/member household? > > **Splitting of household tasks** - each person does assigned chores and has a subset of the required chores rather than having to do all of them. > > **It is easier to raise/care for small children in such a setting.** > > **Other members can potentially assist another member** - whether it’s taking on some household duties to free that person up for education or particularly profitable work, helping with children, assisting during some sort of crisis (physical, mental, whatever). > > \*\*Keeps old and/or disabled members in a home setting and not in a “facility” \*\*- of course, not everyone can be cared for in the home but in many instances help is needed, not round the clock care. > > **Pooling of resources** - money, larger housing, whatever. > > **More social interactions** - which are _usually_ a good thing, and if so, promote both physical and mental health. None of which are a benefit if any of the parties is exploitative. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/133 "2018-05-24T10:54:26Z")
Correct. Living with your extended family can be great and wonderful… unless it isn’t, in which case you’re better off on your own. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/134 "2018-05-24T13:04:23Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > I more got the impression that the kids would never reproduce, on account of being basement-dwelling man-children. > > ETA: Ooh - and if the child somehow does managed to reproduce, can the adults in the house throw the _grandchild_ out? It’s not like they consented to it! (And if they can, can they throw it out immediately? It’s their loser kid’s responsibility to keep the baby alive, not theirs, after all…) This charmer did, in fact, have a child, who he lost custody of kind of recently. Apparently, that precipitated the court case. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/135 "2018-05-24T14:19:55Z")
If **Mike Rotondo** is reading this (and he might be, he has plenty of free time on his hands) I’d like to ask him: Have you no _shame_? I’ve never asked anyone this, but it sure as hell seems appropriate here. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/136 "2018-05-24T17:02:34Z")
I asked my 20-something kids this, and got The Look. You know that look kids can give Olde Fartes: “Are you crazy like senile, or were you this crazy all along?” Their position is “Why would I WANT to keep living with old people who listen to Vintage Country Rock, when I could get an apartment with my friends and blast TechnoHouseEDMShoegazerWeirdo Music?” “Not to mention there’s a lot more pot at my ‘aPARTYment’…” Seriously, I’d assume a couple of decades of living with the older generation would give the OP a more realistic view of the world… ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/137 "2018-05-24T17:51:13Z")
> [@doreen](#): > > What jurisdiction is that- and are you sure it’s that the parents can’t remove the child from their home or is it that they can’t use an eviction proceeding? Because I know in New York ( city and state), you can’t evict a family member who does not have a lease and isn’t paying rent- but that doesn’t mean you can’t have them removed. It just means you have to file an ejection action in Supreme Court rather than an eviction proceeding in landlord-tenant court. Although a lot of articles referred to “eviction”, [Michael Rotondo’s](https://www.cnn.com/2018/05/22/us/judge-rules-son-must-move-out-new-york-trnd/index.html) parents actually filed an ejection action. > ETA - It took three months from when the parents first gave him notice in February , and when Rotondo brought up the “six months notice” , the judge apparently brought up an appellate decision that said six months notice was not necessary in this case. Right. Most (all?) states have a summary eviction proceeding whereby landlords can quickly evict non-paying renters. Were this not the case, deadbeat renters could get three or four months of free living while the court system slowly grinds to justice. This same policy is not needed in a consensual living situation. The other party moved in with permission. Revoking the permission is fine, but you wait in line with the others. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/138 "2018-05-24T17:58:41Z")
In the good old days (and much of the third world) people lived at home for extended periods, married couples lived with the parents - because everyone supported each other, and everyone had to pull their weight. The eight-year-olds tended the goat herd, because they were able to and someone had to. The thirty-year-olds did the back breaking labour. It’s only the modern world (or old-time nobility) where a household could conceive (heh!) of having a capable adult who chooses to do nothing. The guy in the news is forgetting that support goes both ways. If he wants to stay there, he has to contribute. If nothing else, McDonalds is always hiring. (As Wayne says in _Wayne’s World_, “I don’t exactly have a career, but I have a large collection of nametags and hairnets…”) ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/139 "2018-05-24T18:01:55Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > Right. Most (all?) states have a summary eviction proceeding whereby landlords can quickly evict non-paying renters. Not here in New Hampshire. We make landlords jump through all the hoops, and sanction them with financial penalties if they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2018, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637/140 "2018-05-24T18:03:19Z")
The guy in the news is also apparently not adult enough to contribute anything to the household, but he is adult enough to conceive a child. Oddly, he doesn’t have custody. According to the OP, he ought to be able to provide for this child, for life. How is he going to do that if he doesn’t have a job, doesn’t see the need to get one, doesn’t contribute to his joint household, and doesn’t see the need to do so? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-should-be-illegal-for-parent-to-kick-their-children-out-of-their-homes/814637.md?page=8)