# It sucks to be a moderate
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [August 3, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072 "2010-08-03T23:15:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/1 "2010-08-03T23:15:00Z")
Everybody can tell me to fuck off if you don’t like this. I’m used to that. Being a moderate means pissing everybody off. The following aren’t things posted on this board, they’re just included to help you get the general idea.
“This whole illegal immigration brehaha is a touch ridiculous” I’m a commie.
“I know the disaster in the gulf is bad, but we need to keep drilling” Apparently, I kill sea turtles.
“Gay marriage? Why not?” Why do I hate American values?
“On the whole, firearms are a good thing for citizens to have” I should join a militia.
I guess my point is that we should move away from categories and political platforms. Also, I just got done with my Nursing finals (A’s!.. well one B). Not bad for second career. And I’m kinda drubk right now.
’
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### Author:  [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/2 "2010-08-03T23:19:56Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> And I’m kinda drubk right now.
…but just moderately, right?
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/3 "2010-08-03T23:28:32Z")
It’s not the complete works of Shakespeare, but it’s a start.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/4 "2010-08-03T23:31:21Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#):
>
> > [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
> >
> > And I’m kinda drubk right now.
>
> …but just moderately, right?
Let’s just say it’s not conservative.
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### Author:  [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/5 "2010-08-03T23:33:20Z")
When you’re a moderate you can’t find anyone to go all superior on. No wonder you’re drunk!
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/6 "2010-08-03T23:37:51Z")
“So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
– Revelations 3:16
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/7 "2010-08-03T23:45:22Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#):
>
> “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
>
> – Revelations 3:16
Do I have to knock you upside the head with your own bible to bring home the point that my views piss everybody off, yet I still stand by them?
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### Author:  [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/8 "2010-08-03T23:48:01Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> > [@BrainGlutton](#):
> >
> > “So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spew thee out of my mouth.”
> >
> > – Revelations 3:16
>
> Do I have to knock you upside the head with your own bible to bring home the point that my views piss everybody off, yet I still stand by them?
Your views would likely piss people off in either case. You’re not special.
Also, I’ll trade you this banana for that gun. C’mon [wags banana] you know you want it.
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### Author:  [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/9 "2010-08-03T23:50:08Z")
Time again for this;
[ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLNhPMQnWu4)
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/10 "2010-08-03T23:56:22Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> Everybody can tell me to fuck off if you don’t like this.
An interesting delima, can we tell him to fuck off since he’s given us permission even though it’s against the rules? Nah, I guess he’s in a diminished capacity since he’s drubk.
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/11 "2010-08-03T23:57:24Z")
> [@Lobohan](#):
>
> Also, I’ll trade you this banana for that gun. C’mon [wags banana] you know you want it.
Not tempted. I’m more into gooseberries now. I just grind them under my heel till they squeel “Reagan and Clinton were both great presidents!”
Then I make pancakes.
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### Author:  [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)
#### Post date: [August 3, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/12 "2010-08-03T23:58:24Z")
You’re not a _true_ moderate - a moderate doesn’t care about this, that, or the other thing.
What you are is “all over the map”. Which is to say you don’t align with anybody’s party line, but have instead picked hot-button opinions from here, there, and everywhere. Which is fine, except that everybody will hate you.
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### Author:  [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/13 "2010-08-04T00:03:13Z")
Being a moderate does, however, give you the opportunity for holier-than-thou posturing with respect to perceived ideologues. Don’t forget to take advantage of that.
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### Author:  [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/14 "2010-08-04T00:04:53Z")
To paraphrase from Lethal Weapon: Angst ridden assertion-Conservatives and Liberals hate me! Reply-Hate them back! It works for me…
😛
-XT
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/15 "2010-08-04T00:11:00Z")
[Imagine no moderates . . .](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=571701)
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### Author:  [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/16 "2010-08-04T00:15:17Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#):
>
> > [@Lobohan](#):
> >
> > Also, I’ll trade you this banana for that gun. C’mon [wags banana] you know you want it.
>
> Not tempted. I’m more into gooseberries now. I just grind them under my heel till they squeel “Reagan and Clinton were both great presidents!”
>
> Then I make pancakes.
I have it on good authority that Reagan never got a blowjob. He did stick a finger or two up Nancy’s aft-pooter however.
Also, Reagan was a terrible president. 😃
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### Author:  [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/17 "2010-08-04T00:20:50Z")
“Beige Alert, Your Neutralness!”
“If I don’t make it, tell my wife I said hello.”
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### Author:  [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/18 "2010-08-04T00:20:55Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#):
>
> Being a moderate does, however, give you the opportunity for holier-than-thou posturing with respect to perceived ideologues. Don’t forget to take advantage of that.
Now that I think about it, I DO think it gives me a holier- than - thou - thou posture, because I think that anybody who thinks they are holier than thou are not, which gets me thinking that I’m not correct in thinking I’m holier than thou who is holier than thou. But that can’t be true because your’re thou and I’m me. And I’m an idiot. I’m not holier than anybody.
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/19 "2010-08-04T00:21:00Z")
> [@Lobohan](#):
>
> I have it on good authority that Reagan never got a blowjob. He did stick a finger or two up Nancy’s aft-pooter however.
I’m shocked, **shocked** that Presidents have sex!
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### Author:  [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)
#### Post date: [August 4, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-sucks-to-be-a-moderate/549072/20 "2010-08-04T00:23:31Z")
> [@Ludovic](#):
>
> > [@Lobohan](#):
> >
> > I have it on good authority that Reagan never got a blowjob. He did stick a finger or two up Nancy’s aft-pooter however.
>
> I’m shocked, **shocked** that Presidents have sex!
It’ll be okay. Just sit down and have a gin and tonic, you’ll get through this.
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