# It was the best of lines...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [December 28, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619 "2010-12-28T17:25:06Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/1 "2010-12-28T17:25:06Z")
Based on the hit thread - lets find some of the best opening lines of novels -
A couple that I remember -
“Once there was a dead man…” (Larry Niven, A world out of time)
“It was starting to end, after what seemed like an eternity to me” (Roger Zelazny, Nine Princes in Amber)
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### Author:  [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/2 "2010-12-28T17:47:47Z")
I’m really surprised no one’s yet chimed in with:
> [@](#):
>
> The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.
**Stephen King** , _The Gunslinger_.
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### Author:  [@dotchan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dotchan)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/3 "2010-12-28T18:11:00Z")
Since the classic lit ones (_Metamorphosis_, _Lolita_, _Anna Karenina_ etc. etc. etc.) are probably going to get mentioned at some point, I’m going to give mad props to the opening narration of _Legend of Mana_:
> [@](#):
>
> ```
> Nine centuries ago, the Mana Tree burned to ashes.
> The power of Mana lived on inside Mana stones, enchanted instruments, and artifacts.
> Sages fought with each other for control of these last remnants of Mana.
> Then, after hundreds of years of war, as the power of Mana began to wane, those who sought it grew scarce, and the world returned to peace.
> After that, mankind grew afraid to desire. Their hearts filled with empty emotions, and grew estranged from my hands. They turned their eyes away from my infinite power, and were troubled by their petty disputes.
> Remember me!
> Need me!
> I can provide you with everything!
> I am love.
> Find me, and walk beside me.
>
> ```
And, of course, the unforgettable opening narration to _Bad Dudes_:
```auto
The President has been kidnapped by ninjas!
Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President?
```
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### Author:  [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/4 "2010-12-28T19:59:06Z")
“The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.”
Blood Rites: A Novel of the Dresden Files
by Jim Butcher
If you want to illustrate starting a story in the hairy middle of things, this is the opening you want. By the end of the first page you know that the hero is running down a burning hallway, carrying a box full of puppies, and being chased by demons. At the bottom of the first page, he starts to slip.
I defy anyone not to turn the page.
I don’t pretend that it’s great literature, but it is one hell of a hook.
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### Author:  [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/5 "2010-12-28T20:01:16Z")
“It was the day my grandmother exploded.”
- The Crow Road, Iain Banks.
Though honestly one grows sick of quick punchy sentences featuring mayhem.
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### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/6 "2010-12-28T20:14:07Z")
“The year that Buttercup was born, the most beautiful woman in the world was a French scullery maid named Annette.”
(_The Princess Bride_, William Goldman
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### Author:  [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/7 "2010-12-28T20:29:23Z")
“Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether
that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.”
- _David Copperfield_ by Charles Dickens
Which of course means we must include…
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know
is where I was born, an what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents
were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of
crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”
-_The Catcher in the Rye_ by JD Salinger
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/8 "2010-12-28T22:04:15Z")
"_Two tires fly. Two wail.
A bamboo grove, all chopped down
From it, warring songs…_
…is the best that Corporal Bobby Shaftoe can do on short notice - he’s standing on the running board, gripping his Springfield with one hand and the rearview mirror with the other, so counting the syllables on his fingers is out of the question."
Neal Stephenson, not to be outdone, starts \*Cryptonomicon \*with an opening haiku.
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### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/9 "2010-12-28T22:10:11Z")
_We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold._
Followed by –
_I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive…” And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?”_
That sort of drags you into the novel right from the jump.
From \* Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a Savage Journey Into the Heart of the American Dream\*, by Hunter S. Thompson.
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### Author:  [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)
#### Post date: [December 28, 2010, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/10 "2010-12-28T23:37:02Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#):
>
> I’m really surprised no one’s yet chimed in with: **Stephen King** , _The Gunslinger_.
Ummm, that would be because you had the very first response to the OP.
No snarkiness intended, I just get a little irritated with the _I can’t believe no one has mentioned [my personal favorite movie/book/food/Buffy character/Star Trek episode/etc.]_ meme which pops up in every “What is your favorite…” thread on the Dope. It just seemed a little early for it in this one.
As far as my contribution goes, I have to fully agree with **Contrapuntal**. That is a classic.
Also, _In a hole in the ground there lived a Hobbit._
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### Author:  [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/11 "2010-12-29T03:54:21Z")
_It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen._
_1984_ by George Orwell. It’s the best science fiction sentence ever.
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### Author:  [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/12 "2010-12-29T04:21:17Z")
There’s always the opening line of _Paul Clifford_. You probably haven’t read the book, but you know the line…or at least the first 7 words…
_It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness._
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/13 "2010-12-29T04:41:29Z")
> [@Yllaria](#):
>
> “The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.”
>
> Blood Rites: A Novel of the Dresden Files
> by Jim Butcher
>
> If you want to illustrate starting a story in the hairy middle of things, this is the opening you want. By the end of the first page you know that the hero is running down a burning hallway, carrying a box full of puppies, and being chased by demons. At the bottom of the first page, he starts to slip.
>
> I defy anyone not to turn the page.
>
> I don’t pretend that it’s great literature, but it is one hell of a hook.
Was that the one where the demon monkeys were pelting him with flaming poo?
---
### Author:  [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/14 "2010-12-29T12:37:08Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#):
>
> There’s always the opening line of _Paul Clifford_. You probably haven’t read the book, but you know the line…or at least the first 7 words…
>
> _It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents — except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness._
Which makes me want to write a story set in a South Bay suburb of Los Angeles:
_“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in Torrance…”_
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### Author:  [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/15 "2010-12-29T13:14:39Z")
My personal favorite:
“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.” — Anthony Burgess, _Earthly Powers_
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### Author:  [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/16 "2010-12-29T17:31:49Z")
I like the opening sentence of _Neuromancer_: “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
I always wonder if people reading it for the first time in the last ten years know what colour that is.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/17 "2010-12-29T17:51:12Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#):
>
> I like the opening sentence of _Neuromancer_: “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”
>
> I always wonder if people reading it for the first time in the last ten years know what colour that is.
The first TV I had as a kid was a B&W television, no remote control. But for the life of me I can’t think of what a “dead channel” is. My first thought on reading that sentence was “static?”
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### Author:  [@dmatsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dmatsch)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/18 "2010-12-29T18:14:09Z")
> [@simster](#):
>
> “Once there was a dead man…” (Larry Niven, A world out of time)
So _you’re_ the other person besides me who read that!
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### Author:  [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/19 "2010-12-29T21:02:04Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#):
>
> The first TV I had as a kid was a B&W television, no remote control. But for the life of me I can’t think of what a “dead channel” is. My first thought on reading that sentence was “static?”
That’s exactly it. The sky is the colour of that weird black/grey static you got on channels that weren’t broadcasting (or if you didn’t have cable).
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 29, 2010, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-was-the-best-of-lines/565619/20 "2010-12-29T23:08:47Z")
“The place stank. A queer mingled stench that only the ice-buried cabins of an Antarctic camp know, compounded of reeking human sweat, and the heavy, fish-oil stench of melted seal blubber.” - _Who Goes There_, by John W. Campbell (the novella that inspired the movie “_The Thing_”)
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