# It would be a pleasure to beat my optometrist to death. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 19, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269 "2009-06-19T03:48:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/1 "2009-06-19T03:48:57Z")
I can’t say which he deserves more; a bludgeoning death or slow strangulation. I went into the office to get my eyes checked. He was talking about eyes and age, looked at my info card, and referred to me as “52 years young.” “52 years young.” Bloody cheek, from this smug bastard. At this point, I’m also considering it would be a good thing if he were to get a good wheeling. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/2 "2009-06-19T04:29:30Z")
Careful now. You wouldn’t want to raise your blood pressure up too much. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/3 "2009-06-19T06:59:41Z")
You have issues. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/4 "2009-06-19T07:06:45Z")
The OP is clearly blinded by his anger. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/5 "2009-06-19T07:16:11Z")
I went to the eye doctor the other day and he told me I needed to stop masturbating. I asked him why. Isn’t that thing about masturbation causing blindness a myth? “Oh, it’s not that,” the good doc said, “you’re just making me really uncomfortable.” ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/6 "2009-06-19T09:59:04Z")
I guess it’s true that old men tend to be cranky - Manduck, age 50 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/7 "2009-06-19T10:31:27Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I can’t say which he deserves more; a bludgeoning death or slow strangulation. What do they say on your anger management course? ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/8 "2009-06-19T11:30:32Z")
My GP’s practice has a couple of other patients with the same name as me. So when making appointments, my address is verified to make sure they have the correct one. Went to have some stitches removed by a nurse a few years ago and after she finished, I noticed the details on her computer were those of one of my namesakes and she’d not realised I wasn’t that patient. It wasn’t a big deal and I wouldn’t have minded, but for the fact that the other bloke was 59 and I was 38. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/9 "2009-06-19T13:04:52Z")
Last time I was at my optometrist he commented that “when we get to be _our age_” bifocals become more attractive. “OUR AGE”?!? I’ve been going to this guy since I was eight – and I’m now fourty-two! Bifocaled bastard. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/10 "2009-06-19T13:16:24Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I can’t say which he deserves more; a bludgeoning death or slow strangulation. > I went into the office to get my eyes checked. He was talking about eyes and age, looked at my info card, and referred to me as “52 years young.” > > “52 years young.” > > Bloody cheek, from this smug bastard. > > At this point, I’m also considering it would be a good thing if he were to get a good wheeling. And then he had the temerity to say “how about all this rain we’ve been having?” Fucking bastard. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/11 "2009-06-19T13:38:30Z")
> [@Lightray](#): > > Last time I was at my optometrist he commented that “when we get to be _our age_” bifocals become more attractive. > > “OUR AGE”?!? I’ve been going to this guy since I was eight – and I’m now fourty-two! Bifocaled bastard. He was obviously trying to make himself feel younger. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/12 "2009-06-19T14:29:30Z")
At least he stayed off your lawn. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/13 "2009-06-19T14:31:43Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > I guess it’s true that old men tend to be cranky > > - Manduck, age 50 Who are you calling old? I’d say the OP is pretty young. - shiftless, age 53 ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/14 "2009-06-19T14:37:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > At least he stayed off your lawn. The highlight of Gran Torino is hearing Clint Eastwood say, “Get off my lawn.” ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/15 "2009-06-19T14:38:00Z")
Whatever, Papaw. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/16 "2009-06-19T14:39:06Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > You have issues. Issues? I suspect he has a subscription. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/17 "2009-06-19T14:43:28Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > I went to the eye doctor the other day and he told me I needed to stop masturbating. > > I asked him why. Isn’t that thing about masturbation causing blindness a myth? > > “Oh, it’s not that,” the good doc said, “you’re just making me really uncomfortable.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/18 "2009-06-19T15:01:11Z")
My gynecologist once attempted to sway me from using the Depo shot as birth control because it was targeted for “younger women” - I wasn’t even 30 yet! So I got the Depo shot out of spite. My then-husband said it was great birth control, because I was too much of a bitch to get close to for three months. 🙂 (And no, that’s not why he’s an ex, that was funny and I couldn’t deny it!!) ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/19 "2009-06-19T15:04:54Z")
Try re-typing the OP with your teeth in, you’re hard to understand this way… ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269/20 "2009-06-19T16:58:17Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Issues? I suspect he has a subscription. I think he needs a _prescription_. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/it-would-be-a-pleasure-to-beat-my-optometrist-to-death/500269.md?page=2)