# It's 1933. You're in a room, with Hitler . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 6, 2016, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295 "2016-02-06T04:11:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kamakiri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f04885/32.png) [@Kamakiri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamakiri)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/1 "2016-02-06T04:11:36Z")
. . . and he has just won the chancellery. Your time machine randomly placed you there—it’s inaccurate on places and eras. You just pushed “The Past” button . . . And somehow, you’re suddenly standing face to face, in a room with Adolf Hitler—just you, dressed in your normal street clothes with no weapons, and Hitler, fresh from his inaugural speech, looking at you, astonished. The only German you know you learned from movies . . . “Raus! Schnell! Schell! Acthung!” You get the picture. Now . . . what would you do, having come from the future, knowing what you know today? ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/2 "2016-02-06T04:57:39Z")
Repeat “English consulate” over and over, as politely as may be. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/3 "2016-02-06T06:28:11Z")
Bash him in the head with a chair and throttle him to death. ---
**Author:** ![coremelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@coremelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coremelt)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/4 "2016-02-06T06:54:23Z")
Its not going to end well. You didn’t say “alone” with Hitler. He is likely to be surrounded by military officers who will have their side arms. Hitler is likely to be carrying a pistol as well. Probably your only hope to survive is to surrender and hope you can somehow escape and then get some information to the Allies that will help the war effort. ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/5 "2016-02-06T08:49:09Z")
If it’s 1933, you probably think he’s just another ranting blowhard who looks vaguely like Charlie Chaplin, but whose unruly supporters will soon lead to his being disposed of by the people with real power to restore order in Germany. Oh, and if the only German you know is what you learnt from movies, you might be able to give him a rendition of _Ich bin die freche Lola_, which would give you a chance to make your escape, but that’s probably about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/6 "2016-02-06T09:41:06Z")
Not a thing, because I’ve never seen a temporal paradox theory that ended well. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/7 "2016-02-06T09:41:08Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Bash him in the head with a chair and throttle him to death. He’s a decorated soldier who’s only 44 and probably high on meth. Better to try to communicate and attack from surprise. Also, thanks for destroying the timeline. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/8 "2016-02-06T10:12:57Z")
Hitler would be most unlikely to be in a room by himself. Even if it were night time Eva would be there ready to scream and alert the hulking SS bodyguards close at hand. Of course you’ve already signed your death warrant by your sudden intrusion anyway. Hitler did not like surprises, especially ones which left him feeling vulnerable. You’d be gently swinging on a meat-hook within the hour. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/9 "2016-02-06T10:50:02Z")
Less debate, more opinion. Let me move this for you. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/10 "2016-02-06T12:12:29Z")
Kill Hitler, fuck Eva, marry Blondi? ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/11 "2016-02-06T14:06:01Z")
> [@PatrickLondon](#): > > …if the only German you know is what you learnt from movies, you might be able to give him a rendition of _Ich bin die freche Lola_, which would give you a chance to make your escape, but that’s probably about it. I know only German-American, so my spontaneous rendition would at best be of the Oscar Mayer Wiener song. Since I’m also Chinese-American, this might truly astonish them. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/12 "2016-02-06T14:09:50Z")
> [@Steken](#): > > Kill Hitler, fuck Eva, marry Blondi? Blondi was Hitler’s German Shepard Dog. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/13 "2016-02-06T14:13:13Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Blondi was Hitler’s German Shepard Dog. That’s the joke, yes. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/14 "2016-02-06T14:36:34Z")
I’d tell him the joke about the pet monkey and the cue ball, pantomiming the parts where my German was insufficient. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/15 "2016-02-06T14:50:19Z")
I’d let him live. Without him there would be no Godwin’s Law regulating internet message boards. Seriously, the only thing that stopped an escalating series of Hitler-esque wannabes in the past 70 years was the spectre of the real Hitler. Imagine what a tyrant could do with today’s technology, if it were not for an international outcry or “Remember Hitler”. If I kill Hitler, somebody else would have carry on with his appointed task. At the risk of a warning for politicizing, I will not mention any names. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/16 "2016-02-06T14:51:33Z")
I would tell him, “You know, you’re acting just like Hilter,” thus ending the whole conundrum. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/17 "2016-02-06T15:01:05Z")
Absolutely nothing other than observe. And maybe gather some items that look as if they would be worth money in the future. It’s pure ignorance and very irresponsible to mess with history. We can thank WW2 for many technologies and securities that we have today and such a thing could even effect the post war culture in various countries as well as economies. Let’s also not forget that thanks to Hitler amongst the others including the german people that agreed with him _ahem_ that scientists such as Tesla, Einstein…etc flourished as a result of all that, for which many experiments would not have occurred without Hitler and his men. But let’s remember it wasn’t all about just Hitler, he alone did not cause WW2. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/18 "2016-02-06T15:23:23Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Blondi was Hitler’s German Shepard Dog. Maybe it was a [typo](http://www.slate.com/blogs/behold/2016/01/31/blondie_s_chris_stein_photographed_new_york_city_in_the_70s_and_80s.html)? I’d try some psychology. Tell him that Stalin is hated by his army and his people. Only a couple divisions is all it would take to topple him. Maybe attack in one year, two year tops. And certain German officers are plotting to kill him: von Manstein, Rommel, Kesselring, Model, von Kluge, Guderian, etc. Oh, and his grandfather really was Jewish and the French, British, etc. all have absolute documented proof. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/19 "2016-02-06T17:48:36Z")
Buttrape him. If you believe the “ripples in an ever-flowing river” theory, the timeline will inevitably progress as it always has. So the Nazis will always have been in power, WWII will always have happened, and the atrocities will always have been unpreventable… but I will always have been the dude who buttraped Hitler. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295/20 "2016-02-06T17:51:53Z")
I’d try to get my phone to search the dozens threads about “would you kill hitler?” for sage advice. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-1933-youre-in-a-room-with-hitler/745295.md?page=2)