# It's 7:00 in the morning. There's a Milk Dud talking to me. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898 "2001-11-01T13:45:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/21 "2001-11-01T18:44:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*. Maybe I’m just a subroutine of a really powerfull Super Computer (with Spandex tights and cape). Or maybe not at all. You just can’t tell. > -Rue. \*\* Gee, I hope not …tho I’d like to see the spandex! 2 days and counting for WDW&RDD… ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/22 "2001-11-01T18:53:06Z")
Eek. **Superdude** , don’t use the Middle Finger of Doom™. Please. I will never reveal any secrets again. (Notice the extreme lack of !'s. Hmm… could that mean something?) **Sophie** , if you want nougat-ey blood off your hands, from what I gather, just hold them out. Someone (we won’t name any names, will we **Shibb**?) will be along shortly to lick… I mean clean them up. Everyone, just skip this, OK? It’s kinda tasteless, but I have to say it. **scout** , I thought only boys could be a stick in the mud. But do what you like, just remember plenty of lube. Sorry, I’ll try to be better from now on. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > \*\*Must. . .be. . .strong. . . > > Zap! \*\* Yeah! 'Cause those big assed bags are _heavy_. Talk to the guy with the forklift, and be sure to spread the weight evenly in your car. (Picture **Zap** tooling around town half-submerged in a sea of Fun Size Hershey bars.) **Ellen** , I _love_ Mary Janes. And those little peanut butter kisses, the black and orange wrapped ones. And Bit O’ Honeys. It’s sort of niche snacking. None of my sibs liked 'em, so I could trade cheap for them. Unload anything licorice and make a candy profit. **Poli** , yeah two days. I oughta go to the airport now to clear all the security checks. Can’t wait. (But actually _being_ in Disney World- _can’t wait!_) See ya there. Everyone else, I’m not snubbing you. Glad you could show up. Thanks. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/23 "2001-11-01T19:48:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*… And those little peanut butter kisses, the black and orange wrapped ones. \*\* I brought a bag of those to the office - all I got was scorn and abuse. I like 'em too. Come see me, **Rue** - I’ll give you kisses… peanut butter kisses, that is! [sub] I wasn’t flirting. No really! I don’t do that! Stop staring at me like that!! ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/24 "2001-11-01T20:24:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > \*\* > But last night, as GaWd is my witness, a BabyRuth sang to me. I was drawn to it like the Argos to the rocks, down the stairway I crept, ferreting this melodious packet from the kitchen cabinent it had somehow found it’s way to. I took her lovingly upstairs, bringing a ThreeMusketeers and Smarties to keep her company. “Sing your tempting song, brazen hussy, your tune has no alure for me”, I thought._\* \ Oh my Gawd! Dontcha see? Those sireens had their way with **Shibb** and then turned her into a horny toad! \ Zap! A man of constant sorrow, looking for that big rock candy mountain. With my luck, it’ll be at Costco tonight. On sale. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/25 "2001-11-01T20:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Everyone, just skip this, OK? It’s kinda tasteless, but I have to say it. scout, I thought only boys could be a stick in the mud. But do what you like, just remember plenty of lube. Sorry, I’ll try to be better from now on. :: shoves the kinky stuff BACK under the bed where it belongs - how’d that slip out??? :: Once again I’ve been nabbed with my out of date sayings. Stick in the mud. Never the 'twain shall meet. And the list goes on. I spout 'em and get weird looks. But speaking of stick in the mud, it gets me to thinking about how my dad used to say that someone who was ugly got “beaten with the ugly stick”. That dad. He’s a hoot with the sayings… You know, I’ve always had a sense that there’s been someone…following me. Guess that must have been **Tattva** living in my life’s shadow! Phew! And here I thought it was some spooky doppelganger. (whatever that is, but it’s a cool word) Oh, and I need to cruise around the office for a bit and stock up on some leftover candy! Yum. ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/26 "2001-11-01T20:55:15Z")
I trust the OP explains to everyone why I refer to **Rue** as “that loveable whack job”. Personally, my candy never sings to me. It just makes a little crunchy noise. [sub]But oh, the screaming when you bite the legs off animal crackers… you have to eat the heads last, or you can’t hear them…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/27 "2001-11-01T22:57:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by seawitch \* > \*\*Personally, my candy never sings to me. It just makes a little crunchy noise. [sub]But oh, the screaming when you bite the legs off animal crackers… you have to eat the heads last, or you can’t hear them…[/sub] \*\* Must resist bad joke… The Silence of the Grahams 😃 Steven ---
**Author:** ![sandalwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@sandalwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandalwood)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/28 "2001-11-02T00:54:50Z")
**RUE** I share your pain also. 1/2 a bag of fun sized Butterfingers, 9 pieces of snickers, 4 reeses sticks, and dozens of pixie sticks later, (couldn’t give them away don’t want to scare the kiddies with ‘antrax filled paper straws’) I’m still eating candy. The Skittles were talking to me this morning, and after a painful and heated argument I just bitch slapped the Ho. _sigh_ But I’m still craving the grape ones… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/29 "2001-11-02T01:08:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zappo \* > \*\*\ > > Oh my Gawd! Dontcha see? Those sireens had their way with **Shibb** and then turned her into a horny toad! > > \\*\* That should be Tim Blake Nelson. John Turturro was the one who got turned into the horny toad. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/30 "2001-11-02T01:33:56Z")
I do believe **Shibb** is a manly man… Tho having never seen a photo, I’m not gonna bet the ranch on it… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/31 "2001-11-02T02:02:31Z")
I had Fun Size Kit Kats for breakfast, actually. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/32 "2001-11-02T05:39:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > \*\*I do believe **Shibb** is a manly man… Tho having never seen a photo, I’m not gonna bet the ranch on it… > > 😃 \*\* I was just so flattered to have my post turned into a Coen Brothers parody that I didn’t even notice the gender thing. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/33 "2001-11-02T11:17:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by seawitch \* > **I trust the OP explains to everyone why I refer to Rue as “that loveable whack job”.** Oh _that’s_ it, bring up those vicious rumors of me being an endearing hired assassin. Wait, you said “whack job” (as in “puckish prankster”), not “_whack_ job” (as in “hired hit”). That’s completely different. OK then. -Rue. ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/34 "2001-11-02T17:50:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > > \*\*I do believe **Shibb** is a manly man… Tho having never seen a photo, I’m not gonna bet the ranch on it… > > > > 😃 \*\* > > I was just so flattered to have my post turned into a Coen Brothers parody that I didn’t even notice the gender thing. \*\* Whoops. You and **Euty** are both right, of course. I’m posting at work and it’s hard to dredge up movie trivia while posting with one eye and looking for the boss with the other. The _Times_ regrets the error. Zap! And STAY OUT of Woolsworth! ---
**Author:** ![Politzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3ab097/32.png) [@Politzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Politzania)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/35 "2001-11-02T18:23:31Z")
Yikes… I had to stop by the grocery yesterday to pick up Dinnerstuff - and those RPBC [sub] see post title[/sub] mini’s hijacked my shopping cart! They demanded I take them to work with me… “Take us to Cuba[cle] - or the salad gets it!” They get mean once they’re in the half-price bin…must feel unwanted or something. It’s society’s fault, really. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/36 "2001-11-02T18:24:04Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally Posted by Maple Syrup_ > You think that’s bad. My fun-sized twix knocked up my girlfriend and stole all the money out of my dresser drawer. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ---
**Author:** ![lather\_rinse\_repeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/977dab/32.png) [@lather\_rinse\_repeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lather_rinse_repeat)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/37 "2001-11-02T19:01:45Z")
When I wasn’t lookin’, somebody **snitched** my Milk Duds … and ate 'em!!! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/38 "2001-11-02T19:46:07Z")
Last night, 8:00PM I lurch to the candy bowl like a zombie from _The Night of The Living Dead_. I drag the three remaing Almond Joys back to my den where, with brutal precision, I crush their nutty skulls and devour their coconut flesh. Bwaahahaha! Insatiable, the ghoul strikes again, and two Snickers meet their doom. The wrappers are strewn on the coffee table like toppled headstones in an abandoned cemetary. The monster is gorged now, and slips into a sugar stupor. The princess returns home and finds me slumped on the sofa, head lolling, rivulets of chocolate drool running down my chin, staring blankly at the TV screen. Does she take pity and bring me the large glass of water antidote. No, No, help me please, she hands me two Reese’s mini cups, a Kit Kat, and a beer. Aaaahhhhh!!! This morning my teeth hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/39 "2002-03-23T16:52:07Z")
Ya know, it’s been 5 months almost since Halloween, and I still have leftover candy. I bought way too much when it went onto clearance, and now I’m cursed with abundant peanut butter things (not reeses…those little monster coin things), and lollypops, and tons of other crap. I’ve yet to figure out what I’m going to do with it all…anyone got a craving I can satisfy? ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898/40 "2002-03-23T21:35:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pammipoo \* > \*\*…anyone got a craving I can satisfy? \*\* So. Many. Punchlines. Head. Going. To. Explode. [sub]So, **Pammi** , how _you_ doin’?[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-7-00-in-the-morning-theres-a-milk-dud-talking-to-me/90898.md?page=3)