# It's A Bear Story - An I can't think of a Witty Title This Late MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [June 2, 2014, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825 "2014-06-02T08:59:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/21 "2014-06-02T17:28:20Z")
A family in my neighborhood were originally from Alaska. Tom, the father, was built like a tank, had a bald head and a raspy voice, and used “motherbear” as a curse word. As in “Get yer motherbearin’ feet off the motherbearin’ table!” One time I asked him why he said motherbear. It was an epic tale that I cannot attempt to recreate here. He said he used to work as a surveyor in Alaska, and he and another surveyor were taking measurements out in the field. When they got to a spot, they didn’t notice until they arrived that it was next to a den of cubs. The mother noticed them and chased them back to their truck. They managed to outrun her and get inside the truck, but she jumped on top of the cab and started thrashing away. The other surveyor was the driver, and as Tom said, “he couldn’t get his fat hand inside his fat ass to get the keys out! I reached over and tore his pocket open and got the keys out for him!” In time the driver managed to start the truck, and they sped away as the mother tumbled behind them. That’s why “motherbear” became his personal malediction. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/22 "2014-06-02T17:36:35Z")
Awesome bear story, **wiki**! Blurf! Another weird Moanday. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/23 "2014-06-02T17:55:30Z")
That kinda reminds me of a story one of our Alaska helicopter pilots told me. When I was with ARCO Alaska we hired a company out of Homer and they did work all over the state. They were working in the hills somewhere and for some reason their chopper really pissed off a big male griz in the area that was swatting into the air at them, etc. Obviously they couldn’t land there so they moved over to the next ridge to do their work. After landing they got to talking about the bear and one of the crew reminded them that the last they’d seen him he was chasing after their chopper as they flew off. “Ya know…” one of them said… and they all ran back for the chopper and started to power up. Helicopters take a little while to get the rotors up to speed and their was still trying to build rpms when all of a sudden that big grizzly burst out from the trees headed right for them. While they’d be somewhat protected in the canopy the bear could do enough damage to ground them if it got arond the tail rotor, etc. and then it certainly could claw it’s way in. With it bearing down they took off at the last second and yet again watched as this big frothing beast swatted at the sky at them. I’m pretty sure the next time they didn’t land until they were many, many miles away. I bought a book while up there, Alaskan Bear Tales by (I think) Larry Kanuit (sp?). The story about Old Groaner and the bear that decapitated the fisherman on the bank with a swipe of his paw and then batted around his head just sent shivers down my spine. I did a lot of hiking and cross country skiing alone in the wilderness and bears were _always_ on my mind. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/24 "2014-06-02T18:04:36Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Error 503 Service Unavailable > > Service Unavailable > Guru Meditation: > > XID: 1783768711 > > Varnish cache server I understand it has been raining there quite a bit, Swampy. You need to waterproof the cache server on your PC or device. Simply dunk it into a tub of marine spar varnish, and let dry. This month’s MMP dedicated to [Timothy Treadwell](http://www.yellowstone-bearman.com/Tim_Treadwell.html) and natural selection in progress. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/25 "2014-06-02T18:09:10Z")
We were working up on the North Slope back in the 90s and worked as two two-man crews per chopper. We set a crew down, move the next crew a half mile, return for the first and hopscotch our way across the hills. Periodically the chopper would return to camp to refuel, then come back to us. Once while he was gone for fuel our other team radio’d us that a big female grizzly w/ two cubs was headed right for my partner and I. Because of the topography we couldn’t see them even though they apparently were coming quite close. We had a 12 ga pump for bear and I loaded up while the other crew sent out a Mayday for our pilot. No answer. Finally he got close enough to hear, came swooping in and we piled in. Lifting off we saw the bears WERE close, and now headed towards our other crew still on the ground. I hung out the door of the chopper, camera in hand getting great pics of the three of them probably 30 yards away as we tried to steer them away from the crew. I was so excited about the pictures, this back when all we had was film, no digital yet. Unfortunately the next day while loading and unloading one of a dozen times as we collected more samples, my camera fell undetected out of the bag. We spent 4 hours with 4 people and a chopper trying to find that camera but in the tussock grass tundra everything looks the same and when I figured I’d cost the company about $10K we finally gave up. Major bummer to have lost that. The camera was no great loss, $300, but the pictures… Oy. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/26 "2014-06-02T18:53:16Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Well, that was fun. After doing some weeding and planting a few more daylilies, I got my nippers to take out the trees that refuse to die despite having been cut down. I was in a big shrub-like mess of growth, and imagine my dismay when I suddenly saw poison ivy leaves right where my hands had been. Dammit. > > I came in and washed with soapy water - hope I was quick enough. But that brought an end to my weeding. I’ve got the sprinkler going where I planted the lilies and I went around the yard with the poison ivy spray - with luck, I’ve gotten it all. I think it’s a good time for lunch, considering it’s just about noon. > > Dunno if I’ll do any more weeding. I expect to be itchy for the rest of the day. Dammit. Stoopit poison ivy! Take an antihistamine ASAP to hopefully head off the reaction before it has a chance to get too bad. 72 out as of nearly noon, projected high 85. I get to commute 4 hours (round trip) to work 4 (wonky schedule, I can deal). I’ve been fairly productive already, what with rescheduling an appointment around my new work schedule, starting to make another appointment (discovered a third party’s input was needed, have contacted said third party), getting rent check turned in (and getting the ball rolling on a lease renewal). Also picked up mail, put away contents of a package, got the car registration renewal onto my calendar (been playing with Google Calendar a lot lately), put a stamp and return address label on an envelope DH needs to mail back once he completes the form to be included therein, and got some school-related to-do items onto the calendar so I can be nagged to get after them. 😃 Must get cleaned up and ready to go, need to catch that bus soon. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/27 "2014-06-02T19:35:49Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > Take an antihistamine ASAP to hopefully head off the reaction before it has a chance to get too bad. Wipe your hands off on a dog. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/28 "2014-06-02T19:42:50Z")
So many cool bear tales. I had a can of chunky soup for lunch, chicken jerk I think. It tasted okay but now I feel sick. I hope taking care of my other issues takes care of my stomach issues. All I’ve done today is internet crap. My mother needed help getting into a website and I hate her tablet. It would have been faster and easier to bring my laptop to her. She’s gone car shopping, she didn’t need me to go since her bf is going with her. She wants a small SUV but we’ll see what she gets. No matter what she gets it will annoy the HFH and that’s always a plus. I finally got my pre approval letter, now I have to get everything else together. It’s been crazy getting this crap done. I finally found the forms for getting a tax credit on property taxes based on income. I don’t know how it works with the Homestead Tax, if you can get both or not. I think it won’t make much difference for me anyway but it is worth looking in to. In the meantime it looks like interest rates came down a quarter of a percent too. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/29 "2014-06-02T19:42:53Z")
Alas, no antihistamines in the house. But so far, so good… ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/30 "2014-06-02T20:06:56Z")
Howdy from da cave! I survived Moanday. YAY!!! Actually it was not too annoyin’. Still no rain even though 'tis cloudy out and overcast with big black clouds. At least it’s a little cooler than usual. Tomorrow I am goin’ to talk with a current program participant about the assistant position I now have open. She seems pretty sharp and well, since this is an employment program, if the program itself has an open position, and if someone in the program has the abilities to perform the duties of the open position then consideration ought to be given to that person. Anywho, this is with the blessin’ of my boss who believes we should “hire from within” where possible just as I feel. So we shall see. Ok, off to make dindin. Country fried steak 'n gravy, smashed N.O.T., squish, green beans and bizkits. Da bear is in cook mode and wants some southern comfort food. Laterz! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/31 "2014-06-02T20:34:53Z")
Supper will be mahi-mahi, corn muffins, and broccoli. Electrical work on the camper is done - tomorrow, we’ll clean it up and (I hope) set it up. I may do some weeding tomorrow, too. If I can do a little at a time, I can get caught up and stay caught up. Right? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/32 "2014-06-02T20:39:37Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > since this is an employment program, if the program itself has an open position, and if someone in the program has the abilities to perform the duties of the open position then consideration ought to be given to that person. That sounds disturbingly logical. It must not be run by the government. ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/33 "2014-06-02T21:05:00Z")
I worked, I walked the dog, I was not attacked by bears. 😃 Good luck with the house hunting and hope the docs fix you, **sari**. **lieu** , **Ruble** , wow. **swampy** , I prefer meditation 1564439010. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/34 "2014-06-02T21:39:55Z")
Dindin has been cooked, et, and kitchen cleanded. Go Me! OYKW et and ran cause he needs to get some stuff ready to close out the books at his irk tomorrow, poor thing. **doggio** meditation 1564439010 sounds much more soothin’. **flytrap** one should not varnish the help even if one does pay the help in cache. I was hugged and kissed by a bear today. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/35 "2014-06-02T22:00:56Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > I was hugged and kissed by a bear today. You and Timothy Treadwell. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/36 "2014-06-02T22:08:42Z")
I hugged a 15# cat - does that count? ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/37 "2014-06-02T22:51:07Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > I hugged a 15# cat - does that count? Close enough. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/38 "2014-06-02T22:52:18Z")
I hugged my sweetie - he’s a big ol’ teddy bear! 😃 Time to #OccupyRecliner. \*\*\* MWAH!\*\*\* ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/39 "2014-06-02T22:55:53Z")
I shall now retire to the boudior and watch teevee until sleepy time. Da bear is tahrd. Nitey Nite Y’all! ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2014, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825/40 "2014-06-02T23:28:20Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I hugged my sweetie - he’s a big ol’ teddy bear! 😃 > > Time to #OccupyRecliner. \*\*\* MWAH!\*\*\* > [@swampbear](#): > > I shall now retire to the boudior and watch teevee until sleepy time. Da bear is tahrd. > > Nitey Nite Y’all! Well the old folk have done gone to bed. :D;) Dinner is cooking, having a beerverage. I’m staying up and watching the tele. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-bear-story-an-i-cant-think-of-a-witty-title-this-late-mmp/689825.md?page=3)