# It's A Beautiful Day...For Doperball!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840 "2004-05-12T19:42:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/201 "2004-05-15T04:59:30Z")
Yawn…I’ll just take the faceoff and then…bed…zzzzzz… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/202 "2004-05-15T05:27:33Z")
> [@Jimmy Chitwood](#): > > ``` > TWEEEEET! > > ``` > > (I have a whistle). > > I’ll tell you when the ball’s in play, thank you very much. Watch it, bub. Ref or no, I’ll pants you too! 😛 : gently lifts the ball from sleeping **Nightwatch Trailer’s** hands : {who wants this?} ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/203 "2004-05-15T05:45:48Z")
TWEEEEET! No threatening the ref. I’ll just repost the rules for the new page: > [@Hal Briston](#): > > A Reader’s Digest version of the rules for the new folks: > > Your team is determined by the first letter of your username: > Ravenous Wallflowers: A,C,E,G,I,K,M,O,Q,S,U,W or Y > Fire On Pants: B,D,F,H,J,L,N,P,R,T,V,X or Z > > Post the name of the person you’re taking the ball from, or just quote their post (feel free to get fancy with your move description). > > If you’re the third consecutive person from your team to get the ball, you can score, or you can pass it and hope a teammate gets it. That person can score two points, or pass it. If they pass to a teammate, that person will score three. > > Once you’ve touched the ball, you can’t touch it again until there’s been a score or a turnover. ---
**Author:** ![Consumer\_Sovereignty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Consumer\_Sovereignty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Consumer_Sovereignty)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/204 "2004-05-15T06:41:43Z")
_There, CoSo sits quietly on the sidelines_ Oh look, an errant pass from **harmless**. _CoSo casually kicks the ball back into the field of play._ Hey guys, can I play too? Oh, wait… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/205 "2004-05-15T10:16:38Z")
Stunned to discover another member of my team actually playing, I quickly take the ball from **Consumer\_Sovereignty** , and look around for a likely target. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/206 "2004-05-15T10:28:29Z")
> [@Jimmy Chitwood](#): > > TWEEEEET! > > No threatening the ref. > > I’ll just repost the rules for the new page: Oh sure. Get a whistle and all of a sudden he’s Ben Salvetore. :wally You never minded a good pantsing when you where one of us lil people! 😛 Hey, **Gyrate** , you mean to lose this? : does a behind-the-back pass down court : ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/207 "2004-05-15T12:12:13Z")
Allright…off with these ref stripes, it’s playin’ time! I snag **harmless’** b-t-b pass and start lighting up defenders with some incredible shuck-n-jive ball handlin’ skills…then I remember that, yes, I took off the ref uniform, but then I forgot to put anything else on…eep! :: lobs the ball towards our goal, trying to set up the alley-oop, and then grabs one of the extra pairs of pants lying around :: ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/208 "2004-05-15T14:48:27Z")
**Hal** ’s pass describes a gentle arc as it floats toward the goal. Power nap over, I dash down the sidelines (trying to ignore Hal’s pantslessness), leap high, high into the air and SLAM the ball into the goal. First blood, yo. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/209 "2004-05-15T15:34:28Z")
> [@Nightwatch Trailer](#): > > First blood, yo. Woohoo! On da board! Looking to start the rally to our next point, I grab the ball, a few 2X4’s, some plywood, spray paint, a hammer and some nails. A few mintues later, the **Hal’s Balls** booth is ready for business! _“Balls here! Come get’yer genuine Doperballs! Only got one, so get 'em while they last!”_ And our first customer is… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2004, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/210 "2004-05-15T15:38:51Z")
Are these **Hal’s** chocolate salty balls? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/211 "2004-05-16T03:35:07Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > And our first customer is… …Slow in coming (twelve hours!), but I’ll lay down some dough for a gen-you-wine Doperball. … Okay, I’m bored with it. Anyone else want a go? I’ll just toss it out onto the field and watch the fireworks… ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2004, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/212 "2004-05-16T04:54:52Z")
**Briston** to **Trailer** to **Sox** for a quick score for Fire on Pants! 2-0 in a hurry! Where are the Ravenous Wallflowers? This game isn’t as fun without competition 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/213 "2004-05-17T12:52:33Z")
Nope…not quite ready to let this die juuust yet. So, I see kicker Bill Gramattica signed with my Giants over the weekend. His claim to fame is this: Playing _against_ the Giants in 2001, he sent a field goal through the uprights. Celebrating his victory, he jumped in the air, landed badly, and blew out his knee. Dumbass Award nominations and accolades soon followed, of course. In his honor, I will now demonstrate proper kickoff procedure: \…and the ball goes sailing to… ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/214 "2004-05-17T14:10:39Z")
\<\\> 'Morning, **Hal**. Where’s the Coffee? \ That’s not coffee. \ ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/215 "2004-05-17T14:17:19Z")
Thanks, **DeVana**. I’ll just pass this on - we’re going for a three-pointer this time. The holy grail of Doperball! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/216 "2004-05-17T18:37:39Z")
: **harmless** puts up the deuce from **Nightwatch Trailer** : Sorry, couldn’t resist being the one to score. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/217 "2004-05-17T21:05:37Z")
4 to 0, **Fire On Pants.** Play on. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/218 "2004-05-17T21:55:12Z")
**Hal** saddles up his polo pony, picks up a nine-iron, and \*\*\*\\*\*\*s the ball downfield at a full gallop. C’mon, Wallflowers! How about a little competition? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/219 "2004-05-17T22:33:30Z")
Sorry, I’ve locked them all out of this thread. : whacks \*\*Hal’s \*\* ball with the thingy : Score! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2004, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/220 "2004-05-17T22:35:05Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > Sorry, I’ve locked them all out of this thread. > : whacks \*\*Hal’s \*\* ball with the thingy : > Score! 😃 Woops! Forgot **Jimmy’s** reffing now. No Score! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840.md?page=12)