# It's A Beautiful Day...For Doperball!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2004, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840 "2004-05-12T19:42:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/81 "2004-05-13T16:32:52Z")
Oops! Forgot to throw the ball back into play. :smack: (even though that’s probably not the reason this is sinking like a rock) Anyway, the ball is back on the field, anyone’s play (except for **BraheSilver** )! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/82 "2004-05-13T17:17:52Z")
wanders in and gets broadsided by the ball. Yells, “Hey I don’t want this icky thing!” “I’m just here to watch shirtless sweaty men dopers play.” Lobs the ball and it’s grabbed by… ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/83 "2004-05-13T17:18:09Z")
Eh, what the hell. **J Chitwood** back in possession. Next! ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/84 "2004-05-13T17:22:02Z")
**JC** back in possession, that is, after catching **Swampbear’s** lob. (And bending over for the gratuitous butt shot- we’re here to serve.) ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/85 "2004-05-13T17:25:39Z")
The ball sticks to the back of my shirt. I spin around wildly, trying to dislodge it. Finally, I remove my shirt althogether and dropkick the whole mess 40 yards downfield onto the unsuspecting head of… ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/86 "2004-05-13T17:28:24Z")
:: bonk :: Oh, THAT’s where the ball went. **Scuba Ben** recovers the punt from **Rufus Xavier** , throws the shirt one way, and the ball the other way, right to… ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/87 "2004-05-13T17:34:02Z")
: does a flying leap to snatch the ball mid-air from **Scuba\_Ben** for a beeeeeauuuuuutiful steal! A tuck, duck, and roll and a **harmless** pass to… : ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/88 "2004-05-13T17:42:09Z")
:Intercepts **harmless** ’s pass, and sends the ball back in team 1’s direction: ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/89 "2004-05-13T17:44:43Z")
and Eddie grabs the pass from crazymonkeyand sprints down the sideline and punts it to… ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/90 "2004-05-13T17:49:43Z")
I open my microwave and find the ball, still bearing the imprint of Edward’s toes. How odd. I put a note in microvave in responsei, “Sorry Team 1” and take the ball out to my mailbox, (seems appropriate, considering the circumstances) toss it in, close the door, and prop up the little red flag ---
**Author:** ![Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9dc877/32.png) [@Nightwatch\_Trailer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nightwatch_Trailer)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/91 "2004-05-13T17:53:42Z")
**Nightwatch** , in his day job as a postman, opens **honeydewgrrl** ’s mailbox to find a ball. Realizing this could be counterproductive to my job, I hand the ball off to the first bystander I see… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/92 "2004-05-13T17:57:48Z")
Man, you’ll never guess what I got in the mail today. I’d have thought **honeydewgrrl** would mail this to someone on Team 2. Ah, well, gift horses and mouths, and all. :gives the ball a kick: ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/93 "2004-05-13T17:58:15Z")
Me I shoot and SCORE!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!! GOOOOOOOOAL!!! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/94 "2004-05-13T18:01:12Z")
takes the ball from **Nightwatch Trailer** and still not playing (I’m watching sweaty shirtless men dopers remember… btw **Jimmy Chitwood** nice butt shot… woof!) lobs the ball out on the field into the hands of… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ee59a6/32.png) [@CrazyMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyMonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/95 "2004-05-13T18:02:52Z")
> [@CrazyMonkey](#): > > Man, you’ll never guess what I got in the mail today. I’d have thought **honeydewgrrl** would mail this to someone on Team 2. Ah, well, gift horses and mouths, and all. Hey, did anybody notice this ball has a burning fuse on it? Oh crap, **honeydewgrrl** fooled me, Wile-E.-Coyote-style!!! BOOM! ☹ Darn you, **Nightwatch!** ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/96 "2004-05-13T18:09:25Z")
Sorry, **Rufus** …no score. Remember, gotta say who you’re getting the ball from! Last legal move, \*\*Swampbear \*\* lobbed it out to… ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/97 "2004-05-13T18:11:59Z")
:smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/98 "2004-05-13T18:14:40Z")
… **Scuba Ben** , who notices the sputtering fuse, and decides there’s only one thing to do with the ball: Load it in the thirty-six pounder! Arrr! Powder - ram - ball - ram - fuse - FIRE! sssssss **BOOM!** The ball flies downfield, its fuse burning down! Who will catch the hot potato? ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/99 "2004-05-13T18:18:22Z")
(That is, I caught the ball from **Swampbear**.) ---
**Author:** ![Warnas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b77776/32.png) [@Warnas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Warnas)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840/100 "2004-05-13T18:23:39Z")
Go ACEGIKMOQSUWY’ers! BOOO BDFHJLNPRTVXZ’ers! We’ve got an A We’ve got a C We’ve got an E We’ve got a G We’ve got an I We’ve got a K We’ve got an M We’ve got an O We’ve got a Q We’ve got an S We’ve got a U We’ve got a W We’ve got a Y What have we got?!? ACEGIKMOQSUWY !!! I hate those bastard BDFHJLNPRTVXZ’ers! (Too bad I’m such a spazz I can’t even play a virtual ballgame, so I’ll just sit here in the stands (or stand here near the seats, whatever) to cheer my teammates on. And then, when we’ve lost, I’ll rip out a few seats, drink lots of bear and start a riot downtown! At least that’s what we do in Holland when we’re watching sports…) OI REF! (SINGING) YOU’RE GOING HOME IN A F\*CKING AMBULANCE!!!(/SINGING) My word, this is fun! Do let’s try to keep it up, chaps! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-beautiful-day-for-doperball/244840.md?page=6)