# Its a Columbia, MO dopefest, and you're invited! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165 "2003-07-31T16:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/181 "2003-09-26T10:21:58Z")
I so wish I was able to come. The Dopeka in Kansas City, at 18, was the biggest gathering of Dopes I’ve yet been to. But I have SS teaching Sunday morning and can’t blow it off, I promised the kids. Raise a glass for me sometime during the activities, will ya? ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/182 "2003-09-26T11:16:28Z")
So, **sperfur** , what does the final list look like? **Horseflesh** , I will bring a couple of extra boxes of mac and cheese, you know, for the kids. **Baker** , Sunday school, schumundy school, we are all going to hell anyway. ( accroding to Fred ) **Wikkit** , where have you been? I lost your phone number and you haven’t replied to my e-mail! Dude, give me a call today, if you can. Otherwise I am going to be knocking on your door at 4 am on Saturday. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/183 "2003-09-26T12:50:35Z")
**sperfur** : if **Horseflesh** ain’t gonna be there, then I refuse to do _anything_ in pudding whilst I’m there. He is the wing beneath my wings, and the silver spoon swirling in my cup of Swiss Miss chocolately goodness. I’d be too sad without him. **Horseflesh** : keep in mind that human beings can last a few weeks without food. Since your kids aren’t quite human, I’m sure they can last longer. Also, get 'em weak enough, and the trip down and up will be mucho quieter. (Why yes, I did babysit when I was younger–how could you tell? Is it the way I keep defensively reaching for my pocket knife?) **Baker** : I’m deeply disappointed that you’re placing eternal salvation over a trip to a gay bar with people you met over the internet. Personally, I think God would understand, and I think if he wasn’t busy, he’d be down in Columbia Saturday wearing his boogie shoes and enough Hugo Boss to choke Hera. It’s happened before; I mean, really, have you never seen _Xanadu_? **misstee** : My feet are beautiful. My lovely wife is just jealous that they are beautiful _without_ me painting my toenails. I only say these nasty things about my feet so that she’ll feel better about hers. 😉 **Enderw24** : we don’t accept your excuse. Next time, please put it in the form of a question. **Marlitharn** : be careful for what you wish. Do you see the number of Dopers trying to bail out? _They_ know what it’s like… **Crunchy Frog** : you’re such a tease! I like it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/184 "2003-09-26T13:04:37Z")
Confirmed list: **auntie em Erika Marlitharn** and Marlithubby **misstee Rexdart SkipMagic sperfur**, Maggie, Jasper, Chlozilla Monster Kitty **Wikkit withaK** Unconfirmed list: **dfqforever Crunchy Frog Epimetheus Horseflesh ouisey Tiburon Turbo Dog** I’m buying beer and wine. That means you hold-outs had better come if only for the free booze. **Horseflesh** , you gotta come, man. I can’t fit all these people in my car to take them to the gay bar. You gotta bring your ride. I am deeply disapponted that **Baker** and **Enderw24** will not be attending. I was hoping for amazing deserts and snapshots of **Ender** sniffing **Skippy’s** butt. Dang. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/185 "2003-09-26T13:24:57Z")
Yeah, brie is great, but one wheel does not a major contribution make. If you don’t have any other ideas (besides pudding), I’ll just have to come up with something on my own. And do we _really_ want that? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/186 "2003-09-26T21:47:31Z")
Yay for moms! My mom loaned me some money, but I’ll hafta be frugal with it, so I bought each kid a bone to gnaw on while I live the life of luxury eating curds and whey. Anyway, I’ll use half of it for gas and gay money. It’s still up in the air about the attendance of my spawn as my sister has been unreachable for the last few days (which isn’t unusual). What’s brie? Isn’t that a cheese thing? Is it tasty? More importantly, _can you wrassle in it_? **Skip** , I’m not so much the wind beneath your wings, but more like the monster under your bed. And you wonder why your cats are skittish. BTW, what _are_ you and **auntie em** doing that makes the bed tremble so? Don’t think I won’t give you the pudding enema (with a brie chaser) you deserve just because your wife will be looking on. Hell, I’ll take you _both_ on. **Ender** , no excuses. If Alex Trebek wants to come, then he can referee the matches in his tighty whities. **Baker** , God told me in an IM yesterday that although she won’t be able to make it to the party, she will ensure that it doesn’t rain. She also promised to smite a certain Phelps resident repeatedly with lightning strikes, but I’ve heard that line before. She said that us heathens need your SS teachings much more than kids. I think you ought to go. Alright, just got off the phone with my sister. She’s going to watch them overnight and doesn’t want any money as she hasn’t seen my brats in a while. Ha! What she doesn’t know… ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/187 "2003-09-26T22:01:11Z")
((((((( **Horseflesh** )))))), glad you could make it. So, what are you wearing to the gay bar? **Wikkit** , I still havent head from you yet, so I guess you want me to be knocking _very loudly_ on your do in the wee hours of the morning. Can’t wait to see you all. **sperfur** did you have an address to go with that phone number? Mapquest is my friend. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/188 "2003-09-26T22:11:45Z")
That’s a good question, **misstee**. Did **sperfur** give an adddress or a link to an address in this thread? Could someone pass along a freakin’ address?! I’ll wait… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/189 "2003-09-26T22:29:37Z")
[Here’s the link to the map again.](http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&addtohistory=&address=511+meadowmere+view&city=ashland&state=mo&zipcode=&homesubmit=Get+Map) \ **Horseflesh** , you must come, or I will taunt you another time!\ And **Misstee** ’s e-mail is busted. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/190 "2003-09-26T22:38:53Z")
Don’t you remember? Grasshoppah, you must use your **SDMB sense** to make your way to my house. On foot. At night. In the snow. It is a test of your manhood, grasshoppah. You must not fail. Oh, how soon they forget the teachings. I repost: From the north, west or east, you go to the intersection where Interstate 70 and 63 cross in Columbia. Take 63 south toward Jefferson City, 15 miles, to the (only) Ashland exit. Take a right at the top of the exit. Drive the the (only) stop sign. Make a right (onto Henry Clay Blvd.), go four blocks, make a left onto Meadowmere View. There will be a big sign in the yard that says something ornery about a mod. From the south (Springfield), take 63 north to the Ashland exit. Take a left at the top of the exit and follow the rest of the directions above. The only advice I can give you is this: Do not make a left onto Meadowmere Drive, which is 3 blocks from where you turned at the stop sign. I cannot help you if you do this. The alternate universe you will be taken into is inescapable. Those of us one block over on Meadowmere View will hear your screams and just shake our heads. Patience is a virtue, grasshoppah. Go the extra block. You have been warned. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/191 "2003-09-26T23:16:19Z")
Ice. I could use ice. I was hoping to get a deep freeze before we had this shindig but it just didn’t happen. I don’t have enough room to store it in my freezer. So if anyone’s wondering what to bring, you can stop at the Casey’s (just before you turn right onto Henry Clay Blvd.) and get a bag of ice. I’m still trying to figure out how to keep the wine (boxed wine, so I can’t stick _it_ into ice) cold. I just _might_ end up with enough fridge room - but I doubt it. Anybody got a plug-in cooler? Oooh, oooh, I could wrap the boxes in plastic bags and put them into the ice. That might work. I have plenty of coolers to put the beer and soda into, so we’re good there. I didn’t get any diet soda, so I hope no one drinks that. I put my gas grill together today. It looks pretty - I hope it works. FYI - it _did_ come with its own bag of charcoal-looking rocks. I bought a propane jug for it, too. Hope propane is the type of gas it takes. 😃 (I’m winging it.) I’d planned to make a breakfast casserole to pop in the oven Sunday morning, but I’m not sure I’m going to get to it. ☹ I do have other breakfasty stuff to eat if I don’t, so I promise no one will starve. You know what I didn’t get? Hangover medicine. Oops. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/192 "2003-09-26T23:22:50Z")
Ok, so I admit it… I don’t know how to read. or maybe that is _re-read_. **Wikkit** do you have the instructions? No sense in me printing them out if you have them already. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/193 "2003-09-26T23:30:15Z")
My printer is a bit wonky. If it’s easy for you to print, do that, otherwise I will. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/194 "2003-09-26T23:33:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*Don’t you remember? Grasshoppah, you must use your **SDMB sense** to make your way to my house. On foot. At night. In the snow. > > It is a test of your manhood, grasshoppah. You must not fail. > > Oh, how soon they forget the teachings.\*\* Hell, I just wanted someone to do the work for me. 😃 Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/195 "2003-09-27T00:01:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > **So, what are you wearing to the gay bar?** Anything that will net me a few drinks. I was thinking of making some underwear out of pudding and a strategically placed banana, provided, of course, that it will fall within the dress code for the bar. 😉 I was going to bring a bottle of my favorite cheap wine, and I can bring a cooler if you’d need another one to hold bags of ice (though I like my wine room temperature). **Wikkit** , do _not_ taunt the Happy Fun Ball. And if a naked, raving woman is pounding on your door at 4 in the morning, take your time answering it. She’ll wait. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/196 "2003-09-27T00:08:42Z")
**Sperf** , [Yahoo maps](http://maps.yahoo.com/maps_result?ed=xA3roep_0To1thOytAKZyUj6vC26T.c5J28-&csz=Ashland%2C+MO&country=us#) lists the road your address is on as County Highway 363. Do county highways really only run a few blocks in Missou? Is that the road your house is on (shown on the map)? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/197 "2003-09-27T00:34:52Z")
Henry Clay Blvd. and County Highway 363 may be the same thing. If you follow it south, it eventually runs into Highway 63. If you click to zoom in on the intersection where you’ll be turning right, it _does_ say Henry Clay Blvd. (Its the road that runs diagonally through the middle of the map.) Where does it say County Highway 363? I’m not seeing it. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/198 "2003-09-27T01:53:42Z")
**misstee** , what time did you say you’d pick me up? ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/199 "2003-09-27T02:18:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*Where does it say County Highway 363? I’m not seeing it. \*\* Zoom in one more level (to 1) on that link I posted. County Hwy 363 runs parallel (east-west) to Meadowmere Drive. It T-intersects Henry Clay Blvd from the west one block(?) north of where Meadowmere Drive intersects it. That’s your street, right? Where the red star is? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/200 "2003-09-27T03:13:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > \*\ ***misstee** , what time did you say you’d pick me up? \*\* Four am. Better get your rest so you at least have _some_ chance to beat us pudding wrestling. 😛 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **Zoom in one more level (to 1) on that link I posted. County Hwy 363 runs parallel (east-west) to Meadowmere Drive. It T-intersects Henry Clay Blvd from the west one block(?) north of where Meadowmere Drive intersects it. That’s your street, right? Where the red star is?** Well, lookee there. That _is_ my street. Didn’t know I lived on a highway. Nifty slick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=11)