# Its a Columbia, MO dopefest, and you're invited! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165 "2003-07-31T16:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/41 "2003-08-10T07:52:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marlitharn \* > \*\*I soooo want to come to this thing. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get off work. Call me a definite _maybe_ and let me know an exact date so I can draw the pentagram and invoke the demons necessary for me to be granted a comp day. > \*\* Let me know if I can help you out in any way. I, do, in fact have demons for children. Would you like me to send them to your work place? ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/42 "2003-08-10T11:43:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*Let me know if I can help you out in any way. I, do, in fact have demons for children. Would you like me to send them to your work place? \*\* If you’re sure they won’t be a bad influence on the kids sentenced to visit the juvenile officer down the hall… Actually, since I only live 20 miles from Ashland, I’ll probably be able to come even if I can’t get off work. I just have to be home by 10. Wow. I just had a flashback to junior high. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/43 "2003-08-10T14:23:32Z")
I will see how classes are then, and it is far enough away that I can request that day off work and save some extra money so that I won’t miss it. It was too bad I couldn’t make the one here in KC. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2003, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/44 "2003-08-10T23:14:23Z")
I don’t know my schedule that far out (if this is indeed being held on the 20th), so me and my horselings will probably be the if-I-show-up-then-yes-I’m-coming type of guest, though I should be able to give you at least a day’s warning. The mare will probably appreciate being able to sleep throughout the day at home without the kids barging in every hour so she can get her rest before her night shift. I doubt that we’ll try to make it an overnight stay though. Will **Wikkit** and I be dueling spatulas at the grill then? I can make a mean spicy monster burger after only one beer in me. Do you have any other activities planned **sperfur**? Horseshoes, cow tipping, maybe a protest or two? I’m definitely getting into the Charlize Theron BJ line that **Crunchy** clued us in on. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/45 "2003-08-11T16:19:08Z")
Horseshoes! Yes! Now I just need to get a set of them. Cow tipping…might be able to arrange that. If not, we could do kid tipping, since you’ll generously be providing the kids. I live on the corner of a semi-busy street. So if someone can think of something to protest (underwire bras? pet registration ordinances?), we could stage our own protest in my front lawn. I can see us now - standing on the corner with signs that say ‘ **Coldfire** is a big smelly jerk’ and ‘ **Manhattan** is a Twinkie’. 😃 If you want to make mean spicy monster burgers, let me know what ingredients I’ll need to have on hand. These burgers sound yummy. Also, **auntie em** and **SkipMagic** and anyone else who cares, what date should we choose? I’m thinking September 20th or 27th - doesn’t matter to me which one. If no one has a preference for the 27th by the end of the week, I’d say lets go with the 20th. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/46 "2003-08-11T16:36:26Z")
I just followed **wikkit’s** link. Are we _sure_ we want to let him grill? 😛 Maybe **misstee** and I will hold him down and clean out his ears with my [Ototek Loop](http://www.ototekloop.com/) first. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/47 "2003-08-12T04:19:38Z")
If the party’s goin’ late, then I’ll be sure to be there, thanks for hosting **sperfur** 🙂 And if you like horseshoes, you should try a game of washers sometime. Seems to be pretty popular here in mid-Missouri. Heck, they used to have washer-boxes fixed on cement in the grass just south of the Hearnes Center parking lot for football tailgaters to enjoy. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > \*\*What’s with all the Iowa lurkers? We’re supposed to be an edjumacated bunch, if our shiny new quarter is correct. We should all be spreading Maid-Rtes, ITBSs and corn all over the board. > \*\* Mmmmmmm…Maid-Rites… Interesting Maid-Rite Fact: The furthest south you can buy Maid-Rites (coming from Iowa) is a small stand in Brookfield, MO. The Super Maid-Rite with tomato and lettuce and a side of fries is known there as the Wilbur Special. I once made a road trip there on a whim just to get a Maid-Rite when a friend of mine revealed this secret location. Unfortunately it’s a good 60 minutes north and 20 minutes west of Columbia, so I can’t get up there too often. I grew up in the Quad Cities, and I tell ya, you Iowans (and northern IL folk) don’t know how lucky you have it. Never take your proximity to Maid-Rites for granted, because there is nothing similiar to them in the rest of the known world. Oh sure, I can put loose meat on a bun, but the secret of the Maid-Rite’s texture, flavor, and super-greasy nature will always remain a mystery to man. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/48 "2003-08-12T04:42:41Z")
Ah, washers. Each side has 3 holes, each hole a little further than the other and worth increasingly more points? Played with 3 inch washers? Yes, yes, my in-laws have had one of these games for years. Easy to make yourself if you have something like a farm hardware store nearby that sells washers that big. They call it Polish Horseshoes. I’m the current family champ. And if **Wikkit** ’s link throws your appetite off, you probably don’t want to read my entry into the [Horrible Toilet Volcano](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=203638) thread. You might not even let me in to your house. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/49 "2003-08-12T16:39:57Z")
I read that thread and yeah, you’re gross. But really, I’m just enjoying thinking about **misstee** and I holding **Wikkit** down :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/50 "2003-08-15T14:49:47Z")
Okeydokey, folks. Last day to object to September 20th. Speak now or forever shut up about the date we’ve chosen. ---
**Author:** ![dfqforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dfqforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfqforever)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/51 "2003-08-15T16:17:01Z")
Oooooooh! Ooooooooh! Can newbies join this party? I have been lurking around the Boards for years but just “joined” recently. I live in Springfield, Mo. & I would love to meet ya’ll!! The 20th works for me…can I join you? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/52 "2003-08-15T17:38:43Z")
We love newbies! They’re tasty. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/53 "2003-08-15T21:11:01Z")
**dfqforever** , the only condition is that the newest member to the board brings us all gifts. I prefer Andrew Jackson. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/54 "2003-08-16T02:35:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*But really, I’m just enjoying thinking about **misstee** and I holding **Wikkit** down :eek: 😃 \*\* FYI, I fight dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/55 "2003-08-16T08:06:47Z")
The 20th sounds good to me. I can’t get off work that night, but I can pop in for a few hours in the afternoon; darling husband has agreed to watch the children of the corn so I can come. Woohoo! I’ve always wanted to go to one of these things! ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/56 "2003-08-16T20:42:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > \*\*FYI, I fight dirty. \*\* FYI, that’s how I like it. I feel this kindred spirit thing with **misstee**. She seems to be just as naughty as I am. I think we could take ya. 😛 Looks like we’re all set for the 20th. Here’s the new improved list of attendees: **auntie em Crunchy Frog** (will try to make it) **dfqforever elmwood** (if he’s still in KC) **Epimetheus** (if school and work cooperate) **Erika Horseflesh**, Horsefilly, Horsefoal (if his schedule works out) **Marlitharn misstee Rexdart SkipMagic sperfur**, Maggie, Jasper, Chlozilla Monster Kitty **Turbo Dog** (if the rednecks don’t get him first) **Wikkit withaK** and a ghost belonging to **Mirror Image egamI rorriM** Did I miss anyone? ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/57 "2003-08-17T15:43:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > I feel this kindred spirit thing with **misstee**. She seems to be just as naughty as I am. I think we could take ya. 😛 **sperfur** , sometimes I can be _very_ naughty. And I don’t fight fair either. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/58 "2003-08-18T17:46:08Z")
: **sperfur** readies her latex gloves and otoscope to examine **Wikkit’s** …ears: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![dfqforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dfqforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfqforever)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/59 "2003-08-18T18:19:07Z")
Well, as long as you don’t mind black & white photocopies, I can bring all the Andrew Jacksons you want. Guess you can use them to buy photocopies of merchandise! Is someone gonna provide some directions? Wouldn’t want to waste time just driving in circles… Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/60 "2003-08-18T21:07:38Z")
Part of the challenge of shedding the skin of the newbie, grasshoppah, is using your sixth sense, your _SDMB sense_, to find your way to the dopefests. 'Cuz [this map](http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?country=US&addtohistory=&address=511+meadowmere+view&city=ashland&state=mo&zipcode=&homesubmit=Get+Map) sucks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=4)