# Its a Columbia, MO dopefest, and you're invited! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165 "2003-07-31T16:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/61 "2003-08-19T03:33:35Z")
Time driving in circles is never wasted, unless it’s NASCAR. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/62 "2003-08-19T03:46:30Z")
Ok, so if the 20th is set as the date, I’ll put in for a couple days off and let you all know if it gets approved. I may also be bringing my new SO. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/63 "2003-08-19T04:12:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > : **sperfur** readies her latex gloves and otoscope to examine **Wikkit’s** …ears: :dubious: : **Horseflesh** readies a bag of Orville Redenbacher’s Movie Butter Popcorn, lawn chair and opera glasses to witness **Wikkit** ’s impending examination: Seriously though, I’m betting that **Wikkit** would have no trouble taking both you and **misstee** on. I saw what he could do to a plateful of Italian food and it wasn’t even taunting him (well, maybe a little). Though I may change my tune depending on if the kiddie pool is full of Jell-O brand gelatin or chocolate pudding. Will this be the main event or are there other matches scheduled? The 20th is fine with me and my hellspawn. Have you decided on a starting time yet? What’s the status of clothes at this fest, optional or not? ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/64 "2003-08-19T12:08:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > Though I may change my tune depending on if the kiddie pool is full of Jell-O brand gelatin or chocolate pudding. Will this be the main event or are there other matches scheduled? > > The 20th is fine with me and my hellspawn. Have you decided on a starting time yet? What’s the status of clothes at this fest, optional or not? Hopefully clothes will not be requiered in the pool’o’jello. Wouldn’t want to stain any ones clothing while they are getting their butts kicked, would we now, **Wikkit**? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/65 "2003-08-19T13:57:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **[size=1]I’m betting that Wikkit would have no trouble taking both you and misstee on…Though I may change my tune depending on if the kiddie pool is full of Jell-O brand gelatin or chocolate pudding.** So, are the odds in our favor with Jello or pudding? That may weigh on my decision of what to use in the pool. Does flavor matter? If not, I might use tapioca. ---
**Author:** ![dfqforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dfqforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfqforever)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/66 "2003-08-19T14:17:43Z")
Guess I’ll have to ask hubby about the best way to get there…he’s driven all over this state but he is just soooooo smug when I have to ask him for directions. But, for a real, live, fun-filled DopeFest, I’ll do it. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/67 "2003-08-19T14:45:38Z")
I would make a lousy Mr. Miyagi. [Mapquest directions from Springfield.](http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?go=1&do=nw&ct=NA&1y=US&1a=&1p=&1c=springfield&1s=mo&1z=&2y=US&2a=511+meadowmere+view&2p=&2c=ashland&2s=mo&2z=&lr=2&x=78&y=11) From the north, west or east, you go to the intersection where Interstate 70 and 63 cross in Columbia. Take 63 south toward Jefferson City, 15 miles, to the (only) Ashland exit. Take a right at the top of the exit. Drive the the (only) stop sign. Make a right (onto Henry Clay Blvd.), go four blocks, make a left onto Meadowmere View. There will be a big sign in the yard that says something ornery about a mod. 😃 From the south (Springfield), take 63 north to the Ashland exit. Take a left at the top of the exit and follow the rest of the directions above. The only advice I can give you is this: Do not make a left onto Meadowmere _Drive_, which is 3 blocks from where you turned at the stop sign. I cannot help you if you do this. The alternate universe you will be taken into is inescapable. Those of us one block over on Meadowmere _View_ will hear your screams and just shake our heads. Patience is a virtue, grasshoppah. Go the extra block. You have been warned. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/68 "2003-08-19T17:10:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*The only advice I can give you is this: Do not make a left onto Meadowmere _Drive_, which is 3 blocks from where you turned at the stop sign. I cannot help you if you do this. The alternate universe you will be taken into is inescapable. Those of us one block over on Meadowmere _View_ will hear your screams and just shake our heads. Patience is a virtue, grasshoppah. Go the extra block. You have been warned. \*\* So I take it that Meadowmere View has significantly _less_ half buried tires in the front yard and the grocery carts overflowing with spare automotive parts are less rusty than on the dreaded Meadowmere Drive? Darn, I was sure that I knew exactly where you lived. ☹ I think **Wikkit** is a puddin’ man myself, so current odds have him at a 2-1 favorite in that arena. If it’s Jell-O then the odds are even at 1-1. :hastily jots down reminder to bring chairs and extra popcorn for Horsekids: ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/69 "2003-08-19T18:48:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*So I take it that Meadowmere View has significantly _less_ half buried tires in the front yard and the grocery carts overflowing with spare automotive parts are less rusty than on the dreaded Meadowmere Drive? Darn, I was sure that I knew exactly where you lived. ☹ > > I think **Wikkit** is a puddin’ man myself, so current odds have him at a 2-1 favorite in that arena. If it’s Jell-O then the odds are even at 1-1.\*\* We keep our grocery carts polished and we _paint_ the rotted tires buried in our yards. White. We paint them white. Except for the gay couple down the street. They paint theirs pink. 😛 My cubicle neighbor, also a naughty girl, tells me banana is the flavor to use for naked Jell-O wrestling. How many boxes do you think I’ll need? Since **Wikkit** and **Horseflesh** are going to be the grill masters (and since you’re both driving such a long distance), what would you two like the starting time to be? Oh, and at my house, clothing is _always_ optional. ---
**Author:** ![dfqforever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dfqforever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dfqforever)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/70 "2003-08-19T20:16:23Z")
Thanks for the directions…and the warning. I have locked it into my brain cells & shall not enter the dreaded alternative universe. If I do, perchance, enter there & do not ever emerge, you Dopers may have all my cool 70’s music. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/71 "2003-08-19T20:23:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > **We keep our grocery carts polished and we _paint_ the rotted tires buried in our yards. White. We paint them white.** You have _white paint_?!? And polish? Why, you’re livin’ like rich folk, yes indeedy. Sadly, I only have a single washer in my front yard filled (but not overflowing) with partially rebuilt carburetors and spent shotgun shells. But I can close the lid in case of rain, so it ain’t all bad. And I keep the grass lopped off at an even two feet so’s the hounds can see intruders. I just gotta come to yer crib now, if for nothing more than to rifle through yer medicine cabinets. As for a starting time: well, I like to start at the beginning. Really, it’s your digs and you should name the time. Daytime preferably. Not before noon (bad luck) and not after two (beer time). ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/72 "2003-08-19T22:21:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > Oh, and at my house, clothing is _always_ optional. \*\* This seals the deal, we are one. Clothing is something of an afterthought for me most of the time. Horseflesh, you could bring a few more chairs and charge people to sit in them and watch the show. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/73 "2003-08-20T01:42:26Z")
Yeah, **misstee** rode all the way down without street clothes on. She even started taking them back off on the way back. I better be getting a cut on any proceeds. And no chocolate pudding. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/74 "2003-08-20T02:21:08Z")
**Wikkit** , you weren’t supposed to tell anyone that I did not get dressed until we got to Missouri when we went to the KC dopefest. FWIW, I like butterscotch pudding. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/75 "2003-08-20T13:05:24Z")
Screw the odds - butterscotch pudding it is. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2003, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/76 "2003-08-20T13:30:12Z")
Yay for butterscotch pudding! It’s my favorite. Then banana. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/77 "2003-08-21T10:40:03Z")
This is going to be so fun! I’ve always wanted to go to a Dopefest! I shall be attending solo; darling husband is staying home with the mini-Marlis to give me an afternoon out. **misstee** , if it makes you feel any better, I’ll drive to Ashland naked and stop on the overpass to put my clothes on. Can’t we use butterscotch pudding and put bananas in it? ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/78 "2003-08-21T21:11:42Z")
: **sperfur** pictures herself smashing bananas into **Wikkit’s** hair: Yeah. We can put bananas in the pudding. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/79 "2003-08-21T23:26:51Z")
Well, I happen to know **withaK** _loves_ butterscotch pudding, so we better make him wrestle in it too. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/80 "2003-08-22T14:33:40Z")
You want to take them **both** on at the same time? Or do you want to wrestle them one at a time? I guess we could try tag team… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=5)