# Its a Columbia, MO dopefest, and you're invited! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165 "2003-07-31T16:56:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/121 "2003-09-04T21:44:17Z")
Promptly at noon. High noon, not low noon. You know, 'cuz we’re dopers. ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/122 "2003-09-04T21:49:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by misstee \* > \*\*The 27th works out for us, does it work out for **Wikkit**? \*\* Riiight, like I have a life. Who’s driving this time? ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/123 "2003-09-04T21:50:27Z")
Y’know, speaking of fun, I never get to have any anymore. Its been ages since I’ve been to a gay bar. It seems all my friends are getting married and turning into prissy Johnson County housewives. All they talk about now is getting pregnant and things they should do in order to make sure the baby is healthy, blah blah blah. If anyone wants to go have fun some night, look me up! I’m thinking Missy B’s or the Cabaret. [ouisey33@hotmail.com](mailto:ouisey33@hotmail.com), thx. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/124 "2003-09-05T08:01:47Z")
The 27th works for me. Again, assuming I can find a babysitter for the chilluns. What the hell am I saying? The oldest mini-Marli is almost 13; he can watch the 5 year old for an afternoon. I keep forgetting my baby is growing up (sniff). **sperfur,** I haven’t been able to pump my co-worker yet. We work seperate shifts and he is physically incapable of showing up on time for his, so I never see the man. If I can catch him, I’ll ask him; you’ve got me intrigued. Oh, I’m _so_ looking forward to this. The hubby and I never get to go out. ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/125 "2003-09-06T00:44:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Shoot. And here I was hoping to have an intelligent conversation about the finer points of the _Evil Dead_ movies. If nothing else, we’d settle it over bananas and butterscotch pudding. \*\* I have a little shrine to Bruce Campbell in my apartment, consisting of an autographed copy of his book, the Todd MacFarlane series action figure, and the Army of Darkness movie poster above. I may be able to sub in with some Bruce-love. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by sperfur_ > \*\*I do want to go see a drag show, though. Last time we went (about six weeks ago), one of the floor staff told me he’s in the show and I’m really interested to see what he looks like as a woman. > \*\* A friend of mine from back in undergrad is a drag queen. He goes under the name Athena Voce, IIRC. I’ve never gone to see him, but some friends of mine have. He did show up once to a party in full drag, which I found amusing and lively but which the more socially conservative elements of the crowd found profoundly disturbing. In all honesty, he really is way too tall to look like anything but a tall dude in women’s clothes, but I suppose drag really isn’t about true cross-dressing so much as about showmanship and a traditional entertainment genre. Anyways, I think the 27th is OK for me. I don’t have to work that day, and IIRC the Tigers are out of town that weekend at Lawrence. So you can put me down for the new date. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/126 "2003-09-06T20:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RexDart \* > **I have a little shrine to Bruce Campbell in my apartment, consisting of an autographed copy of his book, the Todd MacFarlane series action figure, and the Army of Darkness movie poster above. I may be able to sub in with some Bruce-love.** So you’ve met the man? Wow, can I touch your chin? So they have gay bars in Missouri, eh? I haven’t been to one since I left SF a decade ago. Funny, I preferred the gay or mixed clubs over straight ones. They seem to have a friendlier crowd and they smell nicer. I used to miss some guy trying to hit on me and buy me drinks, though I doubt that would happen these days. ---
**Author:** ![RexDart](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b77776/32.png) [@RexDart](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RexDart)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/127 "2003-09-06T21:32:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*So you’ve met the man? Wow, can I touch your chin? > \*\* Meeting him was cool. He came to the MU campus to speak for his book tour (and the assembled crowd stuck around after he spoke for a screening of ED2 in the auditorium.) I had to wait around for a couple hours that afternoon to get the book signed, but it was worth it. His promoters had gone down the line telling people Bruce wouldn’t have time to personalize the autographs, but he went ahead and did it anyways, so I got him to wish my younger brother (and huge Bruce fan) a happy birthday! > [@](#): > > \*\* > So they have gay bars in Missouri, eh? I haven’t been to one since I left SF a decade ago. Funny, I preferred the gay or mixed clubs over straight ones. They seem to have a friendlier crowd and they smell nicer. I used to miss some guy trying to hit on me and buy me drinks, though I doubt that would happen these days. \*\* They used to have two gay bars in the city. Columbia is rightly recognized as the Berkeley of Missouri, far more socially liberal than you’d expect in the middle of a mostly rural midwestern state. As for getting hit upon, you know, I’ve been told by all my gay friends over the years that I am not attractive to gay men (or at least not to the particular strain of gay men my friends hung with.) So on one hand, that means I never went through that foolish homophobic “oh my god, gay people hitting on me” paranoia thing that some straight guys have. But on the other hand it’s too bad, at least it would be validation from _somebody_ 😉 Of course, one of my best friends who happened to be gay just moved to Florida, which means I’m going to have to find a woman of some sort to go see _Rent_ with this Spring ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/128 "2003-09-06T23:16:15Z")
So you’re saying I _can’t_ touch your chin? How about if I buy you a couple of drinks? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/129 "2003-09-07T01:57:37Z")
So, **Horseflesh** , want me to see if I can find a babysitter for your heathens so you can go to the bar with us (I don’t even know if we’re going - no one has said they want to go yet) Saturday night? Since I don’t have kids, this isn’t info I usually have available, but I can ask around at work and I can ask my neighbor if she knows someone. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by RexDart_ > **They used to have two gay bars in the city.** We used to have Styx, Contacts (ah - the good old days…this was the first and only place I was hit on by a woman, a man and a couple all in the same night 🙂 ), and a bar whose name I can’t remember - it was located way out on Mexico Gravel Road in a building that used to house a shooting range. Then there was III Cheers, which was more of a bar & grill type of place but was owned by the guy that owned Styx, so the crowd was mostly the same. We have a large gay community here. The Peace Nook has a huge section of books on ‘homosexual issues & erotica’. That’s where I buy mine, anyway. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/130 "2003-09-07T02:09:22Z")
Nah, I’ve been trying to think of a place I could stash them if we decide to take this dopefest on the road. Anybody got a car with a mostly empty trunk? I think my sister might be willing to watch them overnight if I wave a $20 bill in front of her. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/131 "2003-09-07T02:28:13Z")
Yay for family, for they make the best cheap babysitters! Okay, who else wants to go to the gay bar? I don’t drink (well, occasionally I do - but I’m normally the driver, so I rarely do when I’m out), so I’ll be sober chauffer for however many we can squeeze into my car or I’d be happy to drive someone’s van back to fit even more in. I think I can squeeze 5-6 people uncomfortably into my car. One more if someone wants to lay across the laps of everyone in the back seat. After an afternoon of pudding wrestling, I think we’ll be close enough for that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/132 "2003-09-07T03:23:01Z")
But do we have to keep up the pretense of posing as dancing nude lesbian female priests? Gay people seem to be especially sharp in this area, and likely I would be spotted for the fraud that I am from a hundred yards away. If anybody remembers the last fest, I have a minivan that can comfortably seat 7, or 20 people if we decide to do things the clown way. Be we’ll have to lick all the pudding off first before any road trips commence, mmkay? ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/133 "2003-09-07T04:18:37Z")
The gay bar sounds like fun… everyone needs to go to a gay bar at least once, right? Right. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/134 "2003-09-07T05:14:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Erika \* > \*\*The gay bar sounds like fun… everyone needs to go to a gay bar at least once, right? Right. \*\* Oh, definately. You’ve never been? You must come with usssss. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > **we’ll have to lick all the pudding off first before any road trips commence, mmkay?** I thought we’d already agreed that the losers lick the winners clean. At least, _I_ agreed to that… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/135 "2003-09-07T20:32:22Z")
::allows arm to be twisted:: ::sighs:: ;^) okay! sounds like fun. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/136 "2003-09-07T20:59:39Z")
Damn! I want to go! I gotta see what’s going on that weekend. Ouisey, I used to live in Johnson county. woo! heh. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/137 "2003-09-08T00:43:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sperfur \* > \*\*I thought we’d already agreed that the losers lick the winners clean. At least, _I_ agreed to that… 🆒 \*\* Oh sure, the _winner_ will be spotless, but what about the losers? _Somebody_ needs to be the designated loser licker, and since you’re already experienced at being designated something, I nominate you. I’m SUCH a loser… ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/138 "2003-09-08T13:57:02Z")
Loser licker. Hmmm. ---
**Author:** ![sperfur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9adbd/32.png) [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/139 "2003-09-08T15:32:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Horseflesh \* > \*\*Oh sure, the _winner_ will be spotless, but what about the losers? _Somebody_ needs to be the designated loser licker, and since you’re already experienced at being designated something, I nominate you. > > I’m SUCH a loser… \*\* Seems to me you’ve got a pretty good deal going on here. You win, **Skippy** licks you clean. You lose, _I_ lick you clean. (Tie - both of us lick you clean? :dubious: ) _Plus_ you get the big-ole cook smooch ‘cuz you’re grillin’ burgers. You are one lucky guy… ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165/140 "2003-09-08T16:33:32Z")
Gay Bar, Gay Bar, Gay Bar! (I actually have a little tune in my head that goes along with that, but it’s hard to convey via cyberspace. And really, it’s not much of a tune at all.) I’ll go. Much better dancing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-columbia-mo-dopefest-and-youre-invited/192165.md?page=8)