# It's a great day for penises! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 30, 2003, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081 "2003-04-30T03:51:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/21 "2003-04-30T20:53:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Have you sent it flowers lately? Only a virgin can send flowers to a penis. Everyone else is already deflowered. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/22 "2003-04-30T21:46:31Z")
I have never seen so many horrible penis jokes in one place. It’s hard, I’m telling you. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/23 "2003-04-30T22:45:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > \*\*So, do you test to see if it’s done by throwing it against the wall? > > \*\* After it’s done, it’s a limp noodle. ---
**Author:** ![Zenham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a5b964/32.png) [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/24 "2003-04-30T23:16:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*After it’s done, it’s a limp noodle. \*\* “May I suggest the Viagra Alfredo, Sir?” ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/25 "2003-05-01T00:21:36Z")
> [@](#): > > Otherwise, he was lobbying for a bionic foreskin. We can rebuilt him, we have the technology, faster, better, stronger. The six million dollar penis. (plus you could do that neat na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na thing as you entered, I’m sure that would impress the chick alot, ;)) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/26 "2003-05-01T00:41:13Z")
Ok, if a man gets a bionic forskin, what would be the female equivalent? The Bionic Vagina? I _shudder_ to think about about it. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/27 "2003-05-01T02:20:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Beagle: \*\*I’m so ashamed. Previewing hubris strikes again. The links do work, at least. You forgot to close your [penile] tag. I hate when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/28 "2003-05-01T02:26:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Munch \* > \*\*17 posts before a Jack Dean Tyler reference? \*\* Shhhhhh!!! He’ll hear you! ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/29 "2003-05-01T03:10:12Z")
Isn’t it always? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/30 "2003-05-01T03:34:33Z")
A day without penises is like a day without sunshine. –The National Penis Board ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_Munkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Sock\_Munkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_Munkey)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/31 "2003-05-01T06:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*We can rebuilt him, we have the technology, faster, better, stronger. The six million dollar penis. > > (plus you could do that neat na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na thing as you entered, I’m sure that would impress the chick alot, ;)) \*\* I should have called dibs on the bionic man reference in the other penis thread. ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/32 "2003-05-01T06:36:36Z")
Damn, **Munch** stole my **JDT** reference. And now, since every possible pee-pee joke has been made, I am left feeling comically impotent. ---
**Author:** ![T.Slothrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@T.Slothrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/T.Slothrop)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/33 "2003-05-01T23:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > So, do you test to see if it’s done by throwing it against the wall? Nope, the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/34 "2003-05-02T00:48:48Z")
I wonder what JDT would say about this if he were still with us. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/35 "2003-05-02T01:04:33Z")
Warning…Warning…Warning… The links below may not be suitable for general audiences. If a mod feels these are too risque, please remove them. For those that want their manhood on the mantle, you can have a copy made [here.](http://www.morningwoodlabs.com/czone/products.htm) And for those that like to play with yours, here is a [game](http://viral.lycos.co.uk/games/condomgame.html) to try. ---
**Author:** ![boomvark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@boomvark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boomvark)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/36 "2003-05-02T03:28:34Z")
Can’t help wondering what Mr. Garrison would have to say about this. ---
**Author:** ![michellem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/fbc32d/32.png) [@michellem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/michellem)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/37 "2003-05-09T03:16:07Z")
> [@](#): > > I wonder what JDT would say about this if he were still with us. In case you are interested JDT’s web site just came back up. He has vBulletin now. [uncontrolled.com](http://uncontrolled.com) ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081/38 "2003-05-09T05:57:27Z")
_Imagine a cheerleading squad_ 2, 4, 6, 8, What do we appreciate? Short or long, fat or the leanest, A healthy happy PENIS! 3, 5, 7, 9, Isn’t it about that time? To say showered or not the cleanest, We love a healthy happy PENIS! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-great-day-for-penises/172081.md?page=1)