# It's a new year - time for fresh new mini-rants! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 4, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629 "2010-01-04T16:26:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 35
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/681 "2010-03-23T17:27:53Z")
Have you tried uninstalling Microsoft Excel and using something that isn’t a complete waste of electrons? ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/682 "2010-03-23T18:25:21Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Heh heh heh. I knew what I’d see before I clicked the spoiler. In a more helpful vein, have you tried putting a ’ in front of the name May to force Excel to take it verbatim? Oh, I fixed it through VBA without much difficulty. It’s cool now. I was just stunned to see it when I initially launched the pivot table. Excel 2007 really isn’t that bad, but you have to have some programming knowledge to bash it into shape. Then you can do some really fun things with it, like freak out your boss by having the Speech-to-Text function say his name at random intervals, or remap the keys so that when he hits the “d” key a “b” appears and vice-versa. Not that I would ever think of pulling jokes like that, oh no. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/683 "2010-03-23T18:28:01Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH !!! Still at it over on eHow, are they? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/684 "2010-03-23T20:08:06Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Still at it over on eHow, are they? 🙂 So not in the mood to go over there and check again. My brain can only take so much before it explodes completely. lol ---
**Author:** ![howye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9adbd/32.png) [@howye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/howye)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/685 "2010-03-23T20:33:35Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Now, I have signed a will and some other legal documents in blue ink, and the pen was provided by the attorney. The reason for the blue ink was to distinguish the original from the copy or copies of the document. My husband makes a lot of copies during the course of his work, and he uses blue ink pens for the originals, for the same reason. Yup. As an attorney, I do not sign any documents with anything but a blue pen. In my clerking days, I spent way too much time watching court clerks scrutinize documents signed in black ink. If it was signed in blue, not a second glance. A hearty fuck you to people who will not use the left turn lane. There are five lanes of road, the middle one is about twenty miles of left turn lane. Do not stop in the lane directly right of the left turn lane and wait to execute a left turn into a parking lot. Move you stupid ass into the left turn lane. And while we are at it, take the phone from your ear and shove it up your ass. Get a bluetooth device and look a little douchey but drive a little safer. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/686 "2010-03-23T20:43:56Z")
> [@howye](#): > > And while we are at it, take the phone from your ear and shove it up your ass. Get a bluetooth device and look a little douchey but drive a little safer. That’s a myth. Using a phone with a hands-free device is still about as dangerous as not. The problem is _talking on the phone_ as such, not looking at it to dial or having a hand taken up with holding it. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/687 "2010-03-24T01:59:06Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > That’s a myth. Using a phone with a hands-free device is still about as dangerous as not. The problem is _talking on the phone_ as such, not looking at it to dial or having a hand taken up with holding it. Quoted for truth. All the pussy lawmakers keep pussing out by making laws that outlaw hand-held cellphones but not all cellphones, but the vast majority of studies say that the distraction of talking on the phone is the problem, not holding the cellphone. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/688 "2010-03-24T18:19:20Z")
If you’re old enough to hold a job, able enough to use the non-handicapped stall, and dextrous enough to drape the entire toilet seat with toilet paper, you’re perfectly capable of pushing the toilet from the seat into the bowl when you’re done doing your business. I’m not paid to clean up after germophobes or anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/689 "2010-03-24T18:41:55Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > If you’re old enough to hold a job, able enough to use the non-handicapped stall, and dextrous enough to drape the entire toilet seat with toilet paper, you’re perfectly capable of pushing the toilet from the seat into the bowl when you’re done doing your business. I’m not paid to clean up after germophobes or anyone else. Seconded! I’m starting to think that a lot of my co-workers must also be Dopers. Its kinda freaking me out a bit. ETA: obviously the non-Dopers are the nasty sponge, toilet paper leaving, sink clogging slobs. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/690 "2010-03-24T20:43:59Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > you’re perfectly capable of pushing the toilet from the seat into the bowl I’d be very impressed with anyone who could push a toilet from the seat into the bowl. I’d imagine this would require some kind of huge crushing force–perhaps a small black hole located in the bowl? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/691 "2010-03-24T22:05:24Z")
> [@cwthree](#): > > If you’re old enough to hold a job, able enough to use the non-handicapped stall, and dextrous enough to drape the entire toilet seat with toilet paper, you’re perfectly capable of pushing the toilet from the seat into the bowl when you’re done doing your business. I’m not paid to clean up after germophobes or anyone else. Thirded! Why do the germophobes think its ok to make the world dirtier for the rest of us? ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/692 "2010-03-25T02:53:03Z")
You wanted her to pull into a lane of traffic where there isn’t an opening? You can rant at me all you want, I am not pulling into the lane until I have an opening. > [@Chimera](#): > > I’m not especially proud of it, but about 16 years ago, this dim bulb woman in front of me stopped near the bottom of the on-ramp to the freeway during rush hour, and proceeded to spend 8 full minutes parked there waiting for a suitable opening into traffic. One that wasn’t going to come for another couple of hours. Unfortunately, this was an older, inner city two lane state highway with very narrow, tight turn on-ramps with high curbs. No way to get around her without risking damage to my vehicle. > > All the honking and swearing by me and everyone else behind us did nothing. She’d just wave her arms toward the on-coming traffic and act frustrated. > > Finally, I yelled in my loudest possible voice: IF YOU DON’T START DRIVING RIGHT NOW, I’M GOING TO GET MY BASEBALL BAT OUT OF MY TRUNK AND BEAT YOU INTO A PILE OF BLOODY GOO. > > Off she went. > > For the record, I do not and did not have a baseball bat in my trunk. > > But seriously, EIGHT MINUTES parked at the bottom of a ramp in rush hour. Lethal injection is too kind for that kind of stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/693 "2010-03-25T11:01:28Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > You wanted her to pull into a lane of traffic where there isn’t an opening? > You can rant at me all you want, I am not pulling into the lane until I have an opening. Keep moving forward slowly and someone will leave you an opening by slowing down. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/694 "2010-03-25T14:18:39Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Keep moving forward slowly and someone will leave you an opening by slowing down. I’ve never owned a car or even had a license and \*\*\*I \*\*\*know that. ---
**Author:** ![MJinks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@MJinks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MJinks)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/695 "2010-03-25T14:25:00Z")
My pre-ordered copy of ‘Just Cause 2’ (a PC game) arrived today, a day earlier than the official release date in the UK! I put the CD in the drive, start installing… “Enter CD Key”. Okay, here it is… “Just Cause 2 cannot be installed yet, because it is not yet released”. It’s a Steamworks game, which means it links to your Steam account. It’s not released on Steam until 7pm tomorrow. You could walk in to a shop tomorrow morning, buy it and still not be able to even install it until 7pm. Loverly. If i had bought it on a console, I’d be playing it now. The pirates have been playing it for the last week. It was unlocked in the US 2 days ago. … Let me throw Ubisoft and EA under the bus too while I’m here. As if DRM wasn’t annoying enough now you want to force me to be online while playing your games? If my connection drops for a couple of minutes you wont even let me reconnect and continue with my game uninterrupted? If I’m in the middle of a campaign mission in Command and Conquer 4 and my connection drops then you wont save my progress and I have to start all over again? Fuck you. Command and Conquer 4 The Settlers 7 Assassins Creed 2 Silent Hunter V These are all games I would have bought. Now you can go fuck yourselves. I wont pirate them, I hate pirates almost as much as I hate you, but you are only doing their cause (such that it is) good with these bullshit methods. The best part? Your shitty DRM method was cracked within 24 fucking hours! Now the only people suffering are your legitimate customers. Well not me. I have a large enough collection that I can live with not buying a couple of games; even good ones. Well, I might buy AC3 on the console, but that’s it I tell you! ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/696 "2010-03-25T14:28:57Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Keep moving forward slowly and someone will leave you an opening by slowing down. That really depends on where you’re driving. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/697 "2010-03-25T14:57:23Z")
> [@MegaBee](#): > > That really depends on where you’re driving. It sounds like it **was** the case in the original complaint, however, which makes the “yeah, well, not if you’re in \_\_\_\_\_” caveats kind of pointless. **Chimera** was bitching at the doofus stopped at the end of the onramp in his particular case. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/698 "2010-03-25T15:01:42Z")
Sitting on the on-ramp, refusing to move for 8 minutes is not a reasonable course of action. You can complain and whine all you want about there not being an opening, but the simply fact is that millions of people flow through that exact same situation every single day without being paralyzed into inactivity at the bottom of the ramp. Therefore the problem lies not in the flow of traffic, but in the stupidity of the person who can’t merge like everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/699 "2010-03-25T15:03:24Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I’d be very impressed with anyone who could push a toilet from the seat into the bowl. I’d imagine this would require some kind of huge crushing force–perhaps a small black hole located in the bowl? Not just huge crushing forces, but probably a command of higher-dimensional geometry as well. Considering my co-workers, I’d settle for having them push the toilet \*\*\*paper \*\*\*into the bowl. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2010, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629/700 "2010-03-25T15:08:58Z")
> [@MJinks](#): > > The best part? Your shitty DRM method was cracked within 24 fucking hours! Now the only people suffering are your legitimate customers. This always happens. _Always. **Without-fucking-fail.** _ DRM does nothing but screw over the people who purchased a product legitimately. I’m tempted to quote that trite definition of insanity. > [@Chimera](#): > > Therefore the problem lies not in the flow of traffic, but in the stupidity of the person who can’t merge like everyone else. Further evidenced by the fact that as soon as someone finally kicked her dumb ass into gear, _she fucking merged_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629.md?page=34) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-new-year-time-for-fresh-new-mini-rants/523629.md?page=36)