# It's a surprise birthday party for you! What cake would you be happiest and least happy to find waiting on the table? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 15, 2024, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320 "2024-04-15T15:02:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/1 "2024-04-15T15:02:38Z")
Yes, it has to be a true cake – no ice cream ‘cakes’, no twinkies with a candle, and definitely no pie. The cake will be excellently baked and frosted (if that’s what you wish) nothing burned or rotten ingredients or poisoned or anything. For me Best: German Chocolate cake. Love that coconut/pecan frosting and the ‘not overwhelmingly chocolate’ but chocolate cake. Worst: Angel food cake with whipped up vanilla frosting. Bleh. I was the first girl in the family after a few boys, and for some reason my mother thought angelfood cake was the most opposite of boy cake, you know, refined, delicate? I’d sooner eat foam rubber. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/2 "2024-04-15T15:19:38Z")
Best would be German Chocolate cake, but it has to be the German Chocolate type of cake, not just regular chocolate cake with German Chocolate cake frosting. And the cake and frosting must be made from scratch. Runner up would be cheesecake, if that counts as cake. Worst would be any store-bought bakery cake that has an inch thick layer of nasty sugary frosting. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/3 "2024-04-15T15:32:49Z")
Like @Shoeless, cheesecake. Or a brownie-like cake. I don’t really like regular cake-too unsubstantial. Worse would be a birthday cake served by Rod Serling. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/4 "2024-04-15T15:41:22Z")
Best: chocolate, no icing. Worst: white cake. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/5 "2024-04-15T15:50:21Z")
Cheesecake - Great! Brownies- Great! Bundt Cake- Great! Pie- Great! Regular Birthday cake - Bleh, no thanks. You can have mine. Waste of calories. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/6 "2024-04-15T15:53:28Z")
Best - definitely something chocolate - maybe devils food with chocolate buttercream frosting? Cheesecake would be nice also. Worst - fruitcake. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/7 "2024-04-15T15:53:31Z")
Best: A true red velvet cake, not a white cake dyed red. Cream cheese frosting on top. Worst: The strawberry cake my ex bought at a Safeway store. It tasted like strawberry ice cream. I detest strawberry ice cream. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/8 "2024-04-15T15:56:59Z")
Best : Black forest gateau. (Is that what y’all mean by German chocolate cake ?) Worst : No cake. ---
**Author:** ![Rhodes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhodes/32/273_2.png) [@Rhodes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhodes)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/9 "2024-04-15T16:11:43Z")
Best: I’d gladly accept Tiramisu, or Tres Leches, or the Pina Colada cake that my wife makes from a cookbook. Worst: Boring chocolate cake from the grocery store, with a quart of that thick sweet gag-inducing frosting. Cheesecake is great, but it ought to be disqualified by the “definitely no pie” rule. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/10 "2024-04-15T16:15:42Z")
Going from the tread title, I’m kind of disappointed that the thread is limited to types of cake. There are _so_ many things I would be unhappy to see sitting on a table. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/11 "2024-04-15T16:19:24Z")
Best: chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. I’d be disappointed if the cake had whipped cream frosting instead of cream cheese or shortening frosting, but I’d eat it. Also perfectly acceptable, vanilla wedding cake. I like how dense wedding cake is, presumably to hold up under its own weight. Worst: German chocolate cake- I really hate coconut. Almost as bad: carrot cake. We’re talking _cake_ here damnit, no vegetables! A zucchini cake I would pick up and throw at you. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/12 "2024-04-15T16:54:35Z")
> **[Jim Gaffigan On The Power Of Cake | Late Night with Conan O’Brien](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0bvuOEfHRU%2F)** > > (Original airdate: 05/04/05) Jim Gaffigan jokes about sharing dessert, the difference between cake and muffins, and how a cake can bring people together.Subs... ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/13 "2024-04-15T17:01:20Z")
Won’t put this into the misread thread titles, so it goes here, but thought the “what” in the title was a “who” (as in what people you have known would be the biggest–best OR worst–surprises to show up as guests at your party…). ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/14 "2024-04-15T17:10:30Z")
Best: Cheesecake Worst: Urinal Cake ---
**Author:** ![BippityBoppityBoo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bippityboppityboo/32/5745_2.png) [@BippityBoppityBoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BippityBoppityBoo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/15 "2024-04-15T17:21:20Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > Worst: Urinal Cake Thread winner 🏆 (and so early)! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/16 "2024-04-15T19:07:05Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Going from the tread title, I’m kind of disappointed that the thread is limited to types of cake. There are _so_ many things I would be unhappy to see sitting on a table. That was totally my take too. If the thread is about cakes, the title should be too. Going from our broader definition, probably the worst, but still plausible, thing to find sitting on the table at the outset of a surprise party is your clothes. After you misunderstood what was going on and thought your spouse had prepared a special “surprise” just for you two :leer: and had gotten undressed in anticipation. Oops. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/17 "2024-04-15T19:18:05Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Going from our broader definition, probably the worst, but still plausible, thing to find sitting on the table at the outset of a surprise party is your clothes. I wasn’t limiting myself to plausible. I clicked on the thread thinking more on the lines of Cthulhu or radioactive waste. Although both of those make bad cake ingredients, too. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/18 "2024-04-15T19:31:11Z")
Yellowcake is not good either. ---
**Author:** ![teelabrown](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teelabrown/32/8412_2.png) [@teelabrown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teelabrown)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/19 "2024-04-15T19:54:25Z")
My mom used to make my favorite cake for my birthday: devil’s food with fluffy white marshmallow frosting. The frosting came from a Betty Crocker mix that I haven’t seen for decades. It was soft and marshmallow-y and contrasted with the devil’s food really well. My least favorite cake is the white sheet cake with white shortening-like frosting, the kind you see at office birthday parties. I not only dislike it, commercial cakes like this have something in them that really upsets my stomach. I haven’t had a bite of one in many years. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2024, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320/20 "2024-04-15T20:11:16Z")
Purely taste alone? Mango cake. But if we’re being realistic, whatever cake that contains more fiber and less sugar/carbs, for the sake of my blood sugar. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-surprise-birthday-party-for-you-what-cake-would-you-be-happiest-and-least-happy-to-find-waiting-on-the-table/1000320.md?page=2)