# It's a Wonderful Life: "He's making violent love to me, mother!"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Tags:** movies
**Created:** [December 30, 2022, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355 "2022-12-30T20:12:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/1 "2022-12-30T20:12:27Z")
Recently had my annual screening of “It’s a Wonderful Life” in my living room, and one of my favorite scenes in the movie is when a grumpy George stops by Mary’s house. She’s chipper, hoping to recapture some of the magic between the two of them from the night of the school dance a few years prior. George is just angry and bitter at how his life is developing. Frank Capra creates a brilliant level of tension in this scene, sexual and otherwise.
The one line in this scene that’s always made me laugh out loud while internally scratching my head: “He’s making violent love to me, mother.”
For some context, Mary’s mother asks what George Bailey is doing there; Mary bluntly asks him “What are you doing here?” George basically says “I have no idea.” To which Mary yells back the line about making violent love.
Has “making love” always meant sex? Is Mary basically saying (in 1940s terms), “George is down here banging me hard and nasty, mother!”? Is there anything else that this could mean?
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### Author:  [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/2 "2022-12-30T20:16:42Z")
> **[The Grammarphobia Blog: Making love, then and now](https://www.grammarphobia.com/blog/2012/12/making-love.html)**
>
> How the verbal phrase to “make love” has evolved, along with attitudes about lovemaking.
> [@](#):
>
> Originally, the dictionary says, to “make love” meant to “pay amorous attention; to court, woo.” It’s frequently used with “to,” the _OED_ adds.
> …
> The newer meaning of “make love”—to have sex—didn’t appear in writing until the 1920s.
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### Author:  [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/3 "2022-12-30T20:17:07Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#):
>
> Has “making love” always meant sex? Is Mary basically saying (in 1940s terms), “George is down here banging me hard and nasty, mother!”? Is there anything else that this could mean?
Making love hasn’t always meant having sex, or, at the very least, it had other meanings. Making love could mean flirting or just speaking to someone in the hopes of romance, what we might refer to as pitching woo.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/4 "2022-12-30T20:19:25Z")
It’s tantamount to “pitching woo”, I tells ya!
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### Author:  [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/5 "2022-12-30T20:20:59Z")
Pitching violent woo!
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/6 "2022-12-30T20:21:27Z")
With an onion on his belt!
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### Author:  [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/7 "2022-12-30T20:45:54Z")
'Cause it was snappy, and we _liked_ it!
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### Author:  [@Banksiaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banksiaman)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/8 "2022-12-30T20:46:19Z")
I suspected as much when I read a between-the-wars story where the paramour joined the dinner party and proceeded to make love to the virginal Shirley while her family watched. A memorable night for all concerned.
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### Author:  [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/9 "2022-12-30T21:24:59Z")
I get that “making love” meant something more akin to flirting or showing affection (see also Jill Pole in _The Silver Chair_, who makes love to the giants to see it’s not always romantic).
But what about the word “violent”? That to me always implied it was at least something physical. I always imagined she was saying they were making out, in order to shame her mom for peeking.
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### Author:  [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/10 "2022-12-30T21:29:41Z")
I think the scene is a lot funnier, and works a lot better, if it’s interpreted to mean sex.
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### Author:  [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/11 "2022-12-30T22:39:19Z")
Especially considering Violet was “pitching woo” as it were with every guy in town.
Little know fact: She was leaving Bedford Falls because she was pregnant, going off to maybe get an illegal abortion. That’s why George gave her the money. (no it wasn’t his kid. George is a cuckholded banker. 🙂 )
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### Author:  [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/12 "2022-12-30T23:15:23Z")
The change in meaning of “making love” from flirting or kissing to having sex is similar to how saying you were “stoned” used to mean tipsy or drunk to meaning having smoked weed.
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### Author:  [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/13 "2022-12-30T23:24:42Z")
In the 1940 Three Stooges episode [“Boobs in Arms”](https://youtu.be/1lyJtwhg-pg?t=164) Moe advises a woman whose husband is neglecting her to “get somebody to make love to you”.
Knowing Moe, he would have no doubt further recommended _violent_ love.
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### Author:  [@DPRK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPRK)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/14 "2022-12-30T23:44:22Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#):
>
> Has “making love” always meant sex?
“Making love” means making love (it certainly does not “always” mean sex). However, it is also used as a euphemism, to the extent that [today] you can hardly escape the vulgar meaning. Like, in French, “baiser” means “to kiss”, but “Je l’ai baisée” can be taken as nothing besides “I fucked her.”
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### Author:  [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/15 "2022-12-30T23:49:09Z")
> [@F.U.Shakespeare](#):
>
> Knowing Moe, he would have no doubt further recommended _violent_ love.
With some amorous eye-poking, and maybe even a slap on top of the head from a ball peen hammer … _Whoop-whoop-whoop!_
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### Author:  [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)
#### Post date: [December 30, 2022, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/16 "2022-12-30T23:49:44Z")
“He’s flirting like crazy, Mom!”
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### Author:  [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2022, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/17 "2022-12-31T01:06:30Z")
Oh, that’s just what we call pillow talk, baby, that’s all.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2022, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/18 "2022-12-31T01:11:38Z")
The only real allusion to sex in the movie is when Violet, in a sexy dress, walks by Bert, Ernie and George. One of them says “Would you. . .?”, George says “Yes!”, then Ernie asks Bert if he needs a ride and Bert says “Nah, I think I’ll go home and see what the wife is doin’.” Ernie closes the scene by saying “Family man!”
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2022, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/19 "2022-12-31T01:36:15Z")
> [@BigT](#):
>
> But what about the word “violent”? That to me always implied it was at least something physical.
I took it to mean “passionate”. He’s wooing me passionately, mother.
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### Author:  [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)
#### Post date: [December 31, 2022, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-a-wonderful-life-hes-making-violent-love-to-me-mother/977355/20 "2022-12-31T01:40:32Z")
Yeah, I’ve seen “making love” to _not_ mean sex is so many books and movies, that I don’t usually bat an eye anymore. I don’t think it was until maybe WWII or later that it morphed into meaning sex.
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