# It's amazing! (Mansplaining) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2018, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564 "2018-11-15T16:24:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/101 "2018-11-18T13:49:26Z")
😕 I never thought of “hectoring” as having any patronizing component. I always thought of it as a kind of nagging. Do some people use it as though its classical (heh) usage implies that the hectorer is being patronizing? Or condescending? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/102 "2018-11-18T13:57:55Z")
My Iliad is rusty - who did Hector supposedly hector? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/103 "2018-11-18T16:14:56Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > My Iliad is rusty You left it outside for ten years. What did you expect? ---
**Author:** ![Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b2d939/32.png) [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_Arachnid_Laser_1)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/104 "2018-11-18T16:43:29Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > 😕 > > I never thought of “hectoring” as having any patronizing component. I always thought of it as a kind of nagging. Do some people use it as though its classical (heh) usage implies that the hectorer is being patronizing? Or condescending? Eh. You’re probably right. Still, poor Hector. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/105 "2018-11-18T17:34:43Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > My Iliad is rusty - who did Hector supposedly hector? I don’t know that I’ve ever read even an abridged version of the Illiad, so I only know the broad strokes of the story. However, I found this: > [@](#): > > v. > > 1650s, from Hector (n.), in reference to his encouragement of his fellow Trojans to keep up the fight. Related: Hectored ; hectoring . So it sounds like he gave encouragement to his fellows, and over time the mean evolved to more of a nagging meaning. And of course, with Hector being the greatest Trojan, him telling the others to fight on and do better may have grated on his lessors a bit. ---
**Author:** ![LowSignalToNoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecae2f/32.png) [@LowSignalToNoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LowSignalToNoise)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/106 "2018-11-18T18:56:27Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > So it sounds like he gave encouragement to his fellows, and over time the mean evolved to more of a nagging meaning. And of course, with Hector being the greatest Trojan, him telling the others to fight on and do better may have grated on his lessors a bit. It has been a long while since I read it as well, but I think I remember a lot of Troy’s warriors wondering why they were fighting and dieing so Prince Paris (who did no fighting) could keep a beautiful woman, who was married to another man. (Bypassing the whole issue of Helen’s right to choose). Hector not only encouraged the other Trojans, but bullied & insulted them , calling them cowards and questioning their right to call them selves Trojans or even men. I did not write this stuff… ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/107 "2018-11-18T19:00:35Z")
> [@LowSignalToNoise](#): > > Hector not only encouraged the other Trojans, but bullied & insulted them , calling them cowards and questioning their right to call them selves Trojans or even men. that sounds like your stereotypical staff sergeant. May as well call it “[Hartmaning](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093058/characters/nm0000388)” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/108 "2018-11-18T19:05:22Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > 😕 > > I never thought of “hectoring” as having any patronizing component. I always thought of it as a kind of nagging. Do some people use it as though its classical (heh) usage implies that the hectorer is being patronizing? Or condescending? > [@Go\_Arachnid\_Laser](#): > > Eh. You’re probably right. Still, poor Hector. Hey, it didn’t end THAT badly for him. He got a free ride all around the city. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/109 "2018-11-18T19:10:53Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > I don’t know that I’ve ever read even an abridged version of the Illiad, so I only know the broad strokes of the story. However, I found this: > > So it sounds like he gave encouragement to his fellows, and over time the mean evolved to more of a nagging meaning. And of course, with Hector being the greatest Trojan, him telling the others to fight on and do better may have grated on his lessors a bit. Well, as long as he kept up with his payments, they really didn’t have a lot of room to complain… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/110 "2018-11-18T19:29:15Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Well, as long as he kept up with his payments, they really didn’t have a lot of room to complain… OK, so it wasn’t just me. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2018, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/111 "2018-11-18T23:27:55Z")
Auto-correct, yeah, that’s the ticket . . . ---
**Author:** ![LowSignalToNoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecae2f/32.png) [@LowSignalToNoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LowSignalToNoise)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/112 "2018-11-19T01:15:16Z")
New here, so please feel free to tell me I am hijacking this thread, but… Never having heard the he term “hectoring” before, I looked it up found this quote on the Wikipedia page for Hector: "Many combats, deaths, boasts, threats, epithets, figures of speech, stories, lines of poetry and books of the Iliad later… " That sums up everything I remember about the Illid. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/113 "2018-11-19T12:31:38Z")
> [@catflea12](#): > > He was commenting on feminism and why women don’t support other women who don’t work outside the home. I think feminists do support other women’s life choices, which is why I told him to STFU. Other people (men) started posting, and I told them to STFU also, and it went downhill from there. That you think so doesn’t make you right by virtue of being a woman, nor him wrong because he’s a man simply because the topic is feminism. Many feminists definitely don’t support other women’s life choices that they don’t approve of. Particularly notable wrt sex (sex workers, women involved in BDSM, for instance), but sometimes also for more mundane choices (like being a stay at home mom indeed, or their attitude towards their SO). It might be your opinion that they all _should_, but it doesn’t make it actually true. There are plenty of feminists out there perfectly willing to lecture you about your own life choices. So far, I see no obvious reason to assume it was mansplaining, unless you can give us more specifics. Even him being wrong wouldn’t necessarily makes it “mansplaining”. There’s no obvious reason to assume that a woman would know better about feminism in general than a man, simply because she’s a woman, not any more than assuming that a Christian would know better than an atheist about his religion’s dogma (to give an example when the logical expectation is frequently wrong). For it to be mansplaining, he would have for instance to lecture you about _your own_ feminist views, that he can’t assume he knows better than yourself, and on top of it do it _because you’re a woman_, rather than being an attitude he has with everybody, men and women, and on all topics: there are plenty of people who thinks they know better than you about your own life, your own job, etc… And it has nothing to do with you being a man or a woman, and everything to do about with them being know-it-all. Otherwise, he’s simply disagreeing with you, not “mansplaining”, and he could be right while you’re wrong even if the topic is feminism. I in fact suspect you were both wrong because you both assumed there was only one kind of monolithic “feminism” that uniformly either supported or didn’t support other women life choices. ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/114 "2018-11-19T12:41:14Z")
Thank you for explaining all that to me. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/115 "2018-11-19T12:56:27Z")
> [@catflea12](#): > > Thank you for explaining all that to me. You’re welcome. I expected a response similar to this one, in fact. I mean implying that I was a mansplainer for having the audacity to contradict a woman about feminism and/or mansplaining. After all, that’s the reason why you told these other people to STFO, right? ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/116 "2018-11-19T13:02:36Z")
Here’s an example of a feminist who isn’t so happy about the choices of other women to be stay at home moms, for instance : [https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/sarrah-le-marquand-it-should-be-illegal-to-be-a-stayathome-mum/news-story/fbd6fe7b79e8b4136d49d991b6a1f41c](https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/sarrah-le-marquand-it-should-be-illegal-to-be-a-stayathome-mum/news-story/fbd6fe7b79e8b4136d49d991b6a1f41c) > [@a feminist who thinks women shouldn't be allowed to stay at home](#): > > Only when the tiresome and completely unfounded claim that “feminism is about choice” is dead and buried (it’s not about choice, it’s about equality) will we consign restrictive gender stereotypes to history. ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/117 "2018-11-19T13:11:02Z")
I was mostly telling people to STFU because I was being an asshole. By the way, STFU. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/118 "2018-11-19T14:24:47Z")
As an asshole-American myself, I greatly respect that degree of personal insight. ---
**Author:** ![Allysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dbc845/32.png) [@Allysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Allysium)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/119 "2018-11-19T15:13:41Z")
Mansplaining doesn’t exist, get over yourself. Everytime I see shit like this, I’m more and more glad I left the cult of feminism. I’ll say it again: mansplaining doesn’t exist. A man telling you things you don’t know (although you may be arrogant enough to think you do know everything, like most feminists) isn’t sexist. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2018, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564/120 "2018-11-19T15:16:33Z")
> [@Allysium](#): > > Mansplaining doesn’t exist Well, actually… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-amazing-mansplaining/824564.md?page=7)