# It's Beastiality Barbie! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783 "2001-04-13T04:13:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/1 "2001-04-13T04:13:34Z")
Oh my God, oh my God. The world is coming to an end. I saw a commercial for this thing this afternoon and I just about died. In the commercial, they actually show how you give the alleged cat a bottle of water (who the fuck bottle feeds a cat?) and then squeeze it in the middle so it will pee in the litter box! **Then** we see a little girl playing ‘Barbie’ and saying “I’ll scoop it up!” It comes with actual clumping litter. [Kitty Fun Barbie](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/stores/detail/-/toys/B000054A92/pictures/14/107-2418076-6281367#more-pictures) [Fixed very long link – Alpha] [Edited by Alphagene on 04-13-2001 at 08:56 AM] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/2 "2001-04-13T04:35:52Z")
Oh, good lord. Just what the world needs, another damned Barbie. Thank heavens my daughter is too old for the damned things. When I was a kid there was one Barbie. ONE. We used our imaginations and didn’t need a different doll for every scenario. And I walk 5 miles in the snow to school. Uphill. Both ways! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/3 "2001-04-13T06:03:02Z")
Are you kidding? I want this! I love Barbies, and I love cats! Woot! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/4 "2001-04-13T06:14:01Z")
> [@](#): > > who the fuck bottle feeds a cat? Anyone who’s had to hand raise a kitten. Sometimes Mama Kitty doesn’t make enough milk, or Kitten doesn’t suckle well. I’ve had to bottle feed my share of kittens. One of our current cats, in fact, had to be bottle fed because his kitty mom died and my daughter had to rescue him (he was feral) and feed him with a bottle. He’s nearly 2 years old now…and believe me, if we gave him a bottle again, he’d be delighted. Instead, he sucks on blankets. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/5 "2001-04-13T06:18:39Z")
What I want to know is who the fuck squeezes a cat to make it pee??? That’s like squeezing my monster to make it take a leak! ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/6 "2001-04-13T07:52:59Z")
Thanks for the laugh, **Bookworm**. I can understand teaching the young’uns to nuture a pussy…(gotta start sometime :D) but squeeze it!? - :eek: - that’s insane! Personally I’m waiting for Doggie Fun Ken complete with lasso, doggie sweaters and hairspray! :::Here li’l doggie::: Woooooooooooooo. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/7 "2001-04-13T07:55:55Z")
Sorry, I’ve had too much caffine tonight. ::hangs head in shame:: ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/8 "2001-04-13T08:00:01Z")
Caff **e** ine! grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![bwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@bwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bwk)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/9 "2001-04-13T08:15:47Z")
Silo, you are too funny. And a little scary… I guess this is for all of those moms who are trying to interest their daughters in skewpin’ the potty box. Apparently, though, only blondes are potty scoopers. Squeezing a cat to make it pee, though… _sheesh_ ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/10 "2001-04-13T10:06:30Z")
What had me worried, though – that cat either looked like it was an flatable, or roadkill. Has Barbie got a computer yet? If so, what does she do when it gets a virus? Squeeze it 'till it crashes? ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/11 "2001-04-13T10:46:46Z")
Am I the only one who’s read this thread and had the phrase “get my lemon squeezed 'til the juice runs down my leg” pop into his head? ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/12 "2001-04-13T11:56:45Z")
Did anyone else notice that the kitty litter comes in 3 fashion colors? The whole thing is a little frightening. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/13 "2001-04-13T13:43:14Z")
I saw that commercial, too, and I laughed so hard I nearly had to hold MYSELF over the cat box! Anyone remember the infamous “Blow Job Barbie” of the late '70s? It was officially called “Kissing Barbie.” She had a lip-print-covered dress, and her mouth was kinda open, like those blow-up sex dolls. Her knees bent, and when you did something—pulled her hair or yanked her arm, I don’t remember—her lips opened and closed and she made a weird “kissy” noise. Everyone started calling them “Blow Job Barbies,” and they were yanked off the shelf faster than “Maturing Skipper.” Bet they’d be worth a fortune today . . . And come to think of it, who would Barbie give a blow job TO? Ken?! I don’t THINK so . . . ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/14 "2001-04-13T13:58:54Z")
Eve, I had the SAME reaction as you when I saw that commercial. Tri-colored kitty litter??? And I OWNED Kissing Barbie. First one I ever had, as a matter of fact. To get her to kiss, there was a button on the back of the doll. I need to see if I can still find it in my parent’s attic… ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/15 "2001-04-13T14:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* > And come to think of it, who would Barbie give a blow job TO? Ken?! I don’t THINK so . . . \*\* GI Joe. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Greyson3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/258eb7/32.png) [@Greyson3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greyson3)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/16 "2001-04-13T14:34:54Z")
Three words. [Earring Magic Ken](http://www.manbehindthedoll.com/mbtd_earring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/17 "2001-04-13T14:44:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Olentzero \* > \*\*Am I the only one who’s read this thread and had the phrase “get my lemon squeezed 'til the juice runs down my leg” pop into his head? \*\* Yes, you freak. 😉 Sua ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/18 "2001-04-13T15:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > And come to think of it, who would Barbie give a blow job TO? Ken?! I don’t THINK so . . . Hmmm, that reminded me of something else: “And Ken tells the bartender his marriage was a failure because Barbie and Ken have no genitalia.” Does anybody else remember “The Groove Tube”? (undoubtedly paraphrased, as I haven’t seen it in years. One of the skits was a Barbie doll ad with a series of quick cuts of the dolls in various poses and a story told in cutesy, lousily scanning verses like the real Barbie ads of the time. However, it presented a Ken and Barbie having affairs and getting divorced. It ended with something like the above and a final picture of the two dolls naked. Or is my memory playing me false, and that skit is from another source?) ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/19 "2001-04-13T15:50:06Z")
What frightened me most was the product placement. “Mommy, Daddy, we gotta switch Fluffy to **Fresh Step Scoop** , 'cause that’s what Barbie uses!” Retch. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2001, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783/20 "2001-04-13T16:27:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > > And I walk 5 miles in the snow to school. Uphill. Both ways! 😉 **My Barbie** lives in a paper bag in a septic tank! 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-beastiality-barbie/61783.md?page=2)