# It's been a long week (cancer update) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2008, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218 "2008-05-31T01:01:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/41 "2008-06-01T18:22:14Z")
You know what, **A Priori Tea**? Yes I would. I’ve been kicking around the idea, that if the doctor does determine I need a mastectomy, having a farewell party at work for Lefty. Sort of a dark humor, if-I-don’t-laugh-I’ll-cry sort of thing. I think some people would get it, but I’m afraid others would be appalled. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Priori\_Tea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@A\_Priori\_Tea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Priori_Tea)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/42 "2008-06-01T18:36:16Z")
Tell you what, hon - I have been quietly rooting for you, but didn’t want to horn in on your threads, because you don’t know me from anybody. If you want somebody with a morbid sense of humor to help you give Lefty a good sendoff, though, please let me know! I will bring all the balloons I can rustle up on short notice, good rum, and the closest thing to a situationally appropriate card I can find. Anybody who wants to be appalled can do it on their own damned time; it’s your breast, and your fight, and you get to deal with it however you damned well please. Hell, if you want to give Lefty a Viking funeral, I will help you build the longboat. 😃 (but then, that’s at least partly because I \<3 setting things on fire, so maybe that’s not as altruistic an offer as it sounds.) Seriously, my email and PM are open. Anything I can do (or refrain from doing, heh), let me know. I’m a couple of hours away, but that’s not much in my little jetson-mobile. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/43 "2008-06-01T18:43:22Z")
**{{{ivylass}}}** I’ve been rooting for Lefty ever since you shared the news… and I’ll be sure to add Righty immediately to my list of good vibes recipients. I’m just sorry I’m too far away to participate in a Farewell Lefty party, if that’s what it comes down to, because I’d be showing up with flowers, Jell-O shots and a Bon Voyage banner. I’m glad to see that you’re still keeping a good sense of humour through this ordeal. Keep it up! You’re an inspiration. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/44 "2008-06-01T19:20:59Z")
I’m reading, and I care, too. {{{ **ivylass** }}} ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/45 "2008-06-01T19:23:28Z")
Oh man, I think it would be cool! The party that is. As others have said, and will say, I wish I was closer and could come(should that be needful) but it not, tell me when it is and I’ll send some cookies(I am a baker), or cash for a bottle of something. And I’m serious about that, I really, really am. So don’t forget. My sister is a pharmacist, and during an internship the students had to take, on the effects of chemo on the body, she said the \*\*#1 question about chemo \*\* was “Will I lose my hair?” Not “will I get sick?” , or, “how long will it take?”, or, “how much does it cost?” So I thought that if I was ever facing hair loss due to cancer treatment I’d wait until it was a for sure thing, then shave my head. This would preserve the illusion it was something happening by choice. Then I’d go buy some of those temporary tattoos, of butterflies or some such, and do my head. As also has been said, my email and PM is wide open, please vent as needed. Or call collect for a live chat, I can provide the number. I mentioned you in prayer in church this morning. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/46 "2008-06-01T19:25:52Z")
You’re in my thoughts, **ivylass**. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/47 "2008-06-01T20:18:46Z")
[QUOTE=Baker] I mentioned you in prayer in church this morning. [/QUOTE] Thank you, and thanks everyone else. I’ve decided, if I do need chemo, that I’m going to ask the stylist to crop it as short as possible. I’m sure there’s such a thing as a “chemo” cut, and if not, well, they’re cool ladies, I’m sure they will think of something. I probably won’t bother with a wig…I’ll get a scarf, or wear **Ginger** ’s cap. I did see an article in one of the women’s mags…a woman who’d had a mastectomy had a beautiful, stunning tattoo over her chest. I thought that was pretty ballsy of her, and while I won’t go that route, I’ve already told Ivylad I’m getting a tattoo when this is over. Something small, on my ankle, maybe a twig of ivy leaves. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/48 "2008-06-01T21:58:50Z")
> [@ivlylass](#): > > Thank you, and thanks everyone else. I’ve decided, if I do need chemo, that I’m going to ask the stylist to crop it as short as possible. I’m sure there’s such a thing as a “chemo” cut, and if not, well, they’re cool ladies, I’m sure they will think of something. I probably won’t bother with a wig…I’ll get a scarf, or wear Ginger’s cap. As I sit here in yesterdays clothes after getting home from working on my moms house. Remember this.. Who you ARE has nothing to do with how you look. Best wishes to you. enipla. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/49 "2008-06-01T23:15:46Z")
[QUOTE=Baker] Okay, I can do that. I’m 53 and I haven’t had a mammogram yet, ever, my mom and my aunt(both retired nurses) would probably faint dead away if they knew. [/QUOTE] Don’t make me come up there and kick yer butt. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/50 "2008-06-02T01:24:40Z")
[QUOTE=Baker] So I thought that if I was ever facing hair loss due to cancer treatment I’d wait until it was a for sure thing, then shave my head. This would preserve the illusion it was something happening by choice. Then I’d go buy some of those temporary tattoos, of butterflies or some such, and do my head. [/QUOTE] Heh. I would get a bright pink mohawk first and be sure to take lots of pictures! 🆒 Anybody can be bald- I want to cause traffic accidents, at least for a day or two. 😉 My Monday night womens group meets across the hall from a mens group. Last week, a bunch of them showed up bald. One of the guys is fighting cancer and losing his hair, so they all shaved in solidarity. 🆒 They also made up t-shirts explaining why they were bald! I think that is awesomely cool. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/51 "2008-06-02T01:56:10Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] Heh. I would get a bright pink mohawk first and be sure to take lots of pictures! 🆒 Anybody can be bald- I want to cause traffic accidents, at least for a day or two. 😉 My Monday night womens group meets across the hall from a mens group. Last week, a bunch of them showed up bald. One of the guys is fighting cancer and losing his hair, so they all shaved in solidarity. 🆒 They also made up t-shirts explaining why they were bald! I think that is awesomely cool. [/QUOTE] I’m bald because my friend has cancer. I can’t think of anything cooler than that. ---
**Author:** ![MissGypsy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@MissGypsy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissGypsy)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/52 "2008-06-02T02:20:26Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Oh, I do know. The e-mails and the PMs and all the kind thoughts proved it. I just don’t want to be a one-trick pony, you know…there’s goes **ivylass** _again_, talking about her breast cancer. But when I know stuff, I’ll tell you, just like I’ll tell my family. I did find a local breast cancer support group, so I might go check it out. And if you haven’t done so, get your mammograms! 🙂 [/QUOTE] Thanks to you, and your threads, I am going in tomorrow morning for my very first mammogram. Both of my grandmothers had breast cancer, at fairly young ages, and both survived for several decades after mastectomies. I know my risk level is a bit high, but your experience finally motivated me to get off my butt and talk to my doctor about it. I wish you the best, and thank you for reminding us. Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/53 "2008-06-02T02:33:03Z")
I just want to empathize just a little bit and wish you the very best. I had my “annual” mammogram on the 9th (I put that in quotes because I missed last year for the first time in a long time (long, unimportant story)). I went to a new place this time, because my doctor wanted me to have a digital mammogram, and the place I’ve been going isn’t offering them yet. I both called and faxed my request to have my prior films transferred to the new clinic, which I was told would be done no later than the 8th, which was before my appointment. On the 19th I got a call from the hospital that they needed me to come back for another mammogram and a sonogram. They still didn’t have my prior films, so they couldn’t compare them to see if this was something that’s been there a while, or if it was something new, and therefore needed further investigation. So I went in the next day, on the 20th, got the small paddle smash (which is extremely painful, as I’m sure you know), and then ushered in for the sonogram. Having lost my mother to breast cancer, needless to say I was a basket case, and the technician was fantastic – very calming and reassuring. But it took a long time and a change to a more sensitive paddle before they found the offending mass. Turns out both she and the radiologist are 100% convinced that it’s a solid, benign tumor known as a [fibroadenoma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibroadenoma), but until they can review my prior films, I’m scheduled for a biopsy on the 23rd anyway. As it happens, they had my films the whole time, so I hope to hear from them soon that this is the same thing I had to have a second mammo to examine a few years ago (though they never told me what it was back then, just that they’d cleared me). I will be thinking of you and praying for you, as well. Oh, and P.S., even though my mother passed away from breast cancer, my aunt is a 15 year survivor, so it’s not a death sentence anymore! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/54 "2008-06-02T03:10:10Z")
You know, as I type this, the ads at the bottom of the page are for " Hot Hairstyles for 2008" and “Bald Women Head Shaving”. Oh, and one for hairpieces. Not a word about cancer, chemo, and such. ---
**Author:** ![Agonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@Agonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agonist)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/55 "2008-06-02T04:33:28Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I’ve decided, if I do need chemo, that I’m going to ask the stylist to crop it as short as possible. I’m sure there’s such a thing as a “chemo” cut, and if not, well, they’re cool ladies, I’m sure they will think of something. I probably won’t bother with a wig…I’ll get a scarf, or wear Ginger’s cap. I recommend hats. Unless you’re a really rockin’ fashion plate, IMHO, scarves make you \*look \*like a chemo patient. Just before my first chemo, I picked up a tip somewhere similar to Baker and EJsGirl: get a radically short haircut and get your hair dyed a very different color. This makes it easier to lose your hair in chunks, when it does fall out, because the hair doesn’t really feel like “yours” anymore. I debated getting purple hair for a while, but eventually settled on dark red. I’m not big into standing out, so getting a hair color \*I’d \*never had was radical enough for me. Although the bald look with a butterfly tattoo is pretty tempting, lately, now that summer is finally starting to arrive. 🙂 I’m a cancer patient going on four years now, Ivylass. I I’ve been where you are, and let me tell you, you’re going through the worst of it now: the first two weeks, when I didn’t know what was going to happen or what the plan was, were honestly the hardest part. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/56 "2008-06-02T15:18:26Z")
I kept my promise **ivylass**! I got an early appointment for a mammogram, this Wednesday at 1:45PM. ---
**Author:** ![trupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@trupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trupa)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/57 "2008-06-02T16:04:44Z")
[QUOTE=A Priori Tea] You know, you really shouldn’t say stuff like that - 'cause I’m going to be out and about in central FL for the next few weeks anyway, and you _really_ don’t want me showing up with balloons and a bottle of rum and a huge-ass grin, going “Where’s the Radioactive Titty Committee? I hear there’s a party!” 😃 [/QUOTE] Now that, that is seriously funny! I truly hope that happens. You go **Priori Tea**! And perhaps there might be a mailing address you might feel comfortable with sharing, **ivylass**? Perhaps a neighbor or nearby relative who’s offered to help, and who can accept mail and parcels for you while you’re busy? Us far away dopers want to do something too. I will always remember how you were so nice to me when I was a brand-new, so-wet-behind-the-ears-I-left-puddles doper. Hugs & prayers, **'lass**. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/58 "2008-06-02T16:32:04Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] Well, I can let everyone know when I go into the hospital, in case anyone wants to swing by Orlando(ish) and freak out my RL friends and family members…“_How_ do you know her?” 😛 [/QUOTE] I’ll break out the scary clown outfit for the occasion. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tupug\_Anachi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@Tupug\_Anachi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tupug_Anachi)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/59 "2008-06-02T16:40:47Z")
{{{Ivy}}}, of course we all care! Hang in there. ---
**Author:** ![chuks54](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d6d6ee/32.png) [@chuks54](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chuks54)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2008, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218/60 "2008-06-02T21:40:25Z")
If you decide to cut your hair please let me know. I would love to cut mine again and donate it to Locks of Love on your behalf. I’m sending good thoughts your way and keeping you in my prayers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-been-a-long-week-cancer-update/451218.md?page=4)