# "It's colder than \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102 "2005-11-28T20:39:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/1 "2005-11-28T20:39:15Z")
The sayings I’ve heard most often are… **"Colder than a well digger’s ass."** That makes sense, but do they have the coldest asses of all occupations? " **Colder than a witch’s tittie."** 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/2 "2005-11-28T20:45:05Z")
“Colder than a witch’s tit, Colder than a bucket of penguin shit, Colder than a hair on a polar bear’s ass Colder than the frost on a champagne glass” –Thomas Pynchon, from _Gravity’s Rainbow_ Regarding witches, I 'd heard: Colder than a witch’s tit in a brass bra. ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/3 "2005-11-28T20:47:51Z")
I’ve always heard it as “Colder than a witch’s titty on a brass broomstick.” Why she’d put her tit on a brass broomstick, I’ve no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/4 "2005-11-28T20:48:58Z")
Penguin shit? Penguin shit? That Pynchon, I always thought he was flying in his own special orbit. Now I know. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/5 "2005-11-28T20:50:40Z")
The saying I think we should start may not be appropriate for this forum, as it is a tad vulgar. In addition, on the occasions I’ve said it in front of other people (twice), it loses a lot of its punch, since I had to repeat myself both times. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/6 "2005-11-28T20:51:55Z")
My Grandpa used to say it’s colder than belly-blue hell. Now… I don’t know just how cold belly-blue hell is , but I like the way it sounds . Makes me feel a connection with Grandpa, too . 🙂 So that is my personal favorite. ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/7 "2005-11-28T20:52:56Z")
> [@yellowval](#): > > I’ve always heard it as “Colder than a witch’s titty on a brass broomstick.” Why she’d put her tit on a brass broomstick, I’ve no idea. Cause they’re dirty, at least the hot, female witches are… at least I hope they are. I mean really, what would be the point of being that into nature with perky nipples if you aren’t dirty? What do you mean by, “Personal Choice” and “Stop objectifying me asshole!”? ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/8 "2005-11-28T20:53:09Z")
My dad often goes for the aliteration: “colder than a Tibetan tin toilet top”. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/9 "2005-11-28T20:56:43Z")
I’ve always liked "Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey ". I think the witch’s tit is a reference to…you know, the witch’s tit the Inquisitors looked for. Where their devil’s familars suckled. I guess that’s pretty cold. (And can I say I’ve always wanted to see Gravity’s Rainbow filmed. But only as a musical. Have a banana.) ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/10 "2005-11-28T21:03:35Z")
I once worked with a guy who constantly played a really annoying hip-hop CD by a guy who kept proclaiming he was “Cooler than a polar bear’s toenails …” (I’m fairly certain it was the same guy who said “If you like fish and grits and all that pimp sh!t, everybody let me hear you say Oh, yah, yer!” So it’s either that I was hearing it wrong, or this guy was more messed up than it seemed.) In fact, I think it was Wu-tang. Anyone know: are they cooler than a polar bear’s toenails? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/11 "2005-11-28T21:09:08Z")
Colder than a … really … cold … uh … thing. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/12 "2005-11-28T21:16:29Z")
… brass toliet seat … witch’s tit in a brass bra Brass seems to be a common theme, here. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/13 "2005-11-28T21:33:01Z")
[Tom Waits]Colder’n a ticket-taker’s smile at the Ivar Theater on a Saturday night.[/Tom Waits] ---
**Author:** ![furthur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecccb3/32.png) [@furthur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furthur)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/14 "2005-11-28T21:36:12Z")
Polite version: Colder than a witch’s other elbow. Mrs. Furthur ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/15 "2005-11-28T21:52:41Z")
It’s so cold outside my nipples could cut glass. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/16 "2005-11-28T22:06:28Z")
Colder than a mother-in-law’s kiss Cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table Colder than moonlight on a tombstone. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/17 "2005-11-28T22:11:18Z")
Colder than the dark side of an Oort Cloud Object. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/18 "2005-11-28T22:26:59Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > My Grandpa used to say it’s colder than belly-blue hell. Now… I don’t know just how cold belly-blue hell is , but I like the way it sounds . Makes me feel a connection with Grandpa, too . 🙂 So that is my personal favorite. Any place cold enough to make your belly blue, specially if you’re actually dressed, sounds pretty cold. At home we’re boring, we just say “colder than the south pole in winter” or “colder than the heart of a secretary of the treasury”. Half my relatives have worked for the treasury at some point, so we are allowed to make fun of treasury types - they’re “our” guys. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/19 "2005-11-28T22:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Colder than moonlight on a tombstone. Alert! I’m making this one My Very Own. Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/20 "2005-11-28T22:40:06Z")
> [@betenoir](#): > > I think the witch’s tit is a reference to…you know, the witch’s tit the Inquisitors looked for. Where their devil’s familars suckled. I guess that’s pretty cold. [This message](http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/12/messages/583.html) from **The Phrase Finder** ’s discussion forum expands on that theory. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102.md?page=2)