# "It's colder than \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 28, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102 "2005-11-28T20:39:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/21 "2005-11-28T22:51:08Z")
Colder than… My heart. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/22 "2005-11-28T23:17:54Z")
One time I was in Nevada at this casino, and started talking to the guy next to me. He was what I could describe as a senior citizen, and he was a local. Having little common ground, our talk soon turned to the weather. He briskly said that lately it had been “colder than a widow’s… **pause as he realizes he’s talking to a young lady** …ankle.” I had to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2005, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/23 "2005-11-28T23:19:28Z")
The thread entitled [Witch Boobies](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309069&highlight=Witch+Boobies) had some lively discussion on this topic. 😃 Still haven’t found a cute female well digger for further research, though. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/24 "2005-11-29T00:17:40Z")
> [@cowgirl](#): > > I once worked with a guy who constantly played a really annoying hip-hop CD by a guy who kept proclaiming he was > > “Cooler than a polar bear’s toenails …” > > (I’m fairly certain it was the same guy who said “If you like fish and grits and all that pimp sh!t, everybody let me hear you say Oh, yah, yer!” So it’s either that I was hearing it wrong, or this guy was more messed up than it seemed.) > > In fact, I think it was Wu-tang. Anyone know: are they cooler than a polar bear’s toenails? I knew exactly who you were talking about, without reading the chorus! That is/was OutKast (Andre 3000 in particular) in the song “ATLiens.” The fish & grits part is the chorus, and the polar bears toenails is just aline in the song. There is another line in “So Fresh N’ So Clean” that goes “cooler than Freddy Jackson sippin’ a milkshake in a snowstorm.” Great band, and two good songs. Wu-Tang clan, where’d that come from? ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/25 "2005-11-29T04:07:34Z")
It’s colder than a mixture of acetone and dry ice (and that’s pretty damn cold. Of course, no one ever gets it.) ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/26 "2005-11-29T04:16:10Z")
It’s colder than your girlfriend Sandra when you call her Julie. (Cribbed, I believe, from a beer commercial. Where else are you going to find modern-day wisdom?) ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/27 "2005-11-29T04:20:07Z")
I’ve always heard “colder than a polar bear’s pajamas.”, but what I usually say is “Colder than penguin snot.” I also like… “Colder than a tax-collector’s heart” (apologies to any tax-collectors on the Dope) and “Colder than an Eskimo’s outhouse.” ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/28 "2005-11-29T05:21:46Z")
“And hoo BOY was it cold.” “How cold was it?” “It was so cold, I DIED.” ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/29 "2005-11-29T05:26:33Z")
[Tom Waits again] Colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups dragging a No. 4 trap up a hill in the dead of a winter in a snowstorm with a mouthful of porcupine quills. [/Tom Waits again] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/30 "2005-11-29T05:29:05Z")
It was so cold… HOW COLD WAS IT? I’ll tell you how cold it was. it was so cold I saw a dog urinate on a fence, and he was stuck there 'til Spring! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/31 "2005-11-29T05:38:37Z")
> [@brossa](#): > > [Tom Waits again] Colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups dragging a No. 4 trap up a hill in the dead of a winter in a snowstorm with a mouthful of porcupine quills. [/Tom Waits again] S’cold out there! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/32 "2005-11-29T05:38:50Z")
Mine are combinations of what other have mentioned. Colder than a witch’s titty in brass bra. Colder than a brass toilet on the shady side of an iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/33 "2005-11-29T05:40:13Z")
I just clicked the link to the “Witch Boobies” thread, and realized I repeated my post. > [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Strange that not even the master realized that the correct phrase is: > > “Colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra” > in similar fashion to: > > “Colder than a brass toilet on the shady side of an iceberg” ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/34 "2005-11-29T08:23:04Z")
> [@brossa](#): > > [Tom Waits again] Colder than a gut-shot bitch wolf dog with nine sucking pups dragging a No. 4 trap up a hill in the dead of a winter in a snowstorm with a mouthful of porcupine quills. [/Tom Waits again] [hijack] Is that the piece that starts out, “Dawn cracked hard like a bull whip and the sky turned the color of Pepto Bismol”?[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/35 "2005-11-29T09:09:26Z")
Colder than a preacher’s dick. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/36 "2005-11-29T10:10:24Z")
Colder than a nun’s cunt. I like that one _because_ it’s so offensive. I’ve never used it in front of other people, though. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_stamos_left_ear/32/3198_2.png) [@John\_Stamos\_Left\_Ear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Stamos_Left_Ear)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/37 "2005-11-29T10:52:32Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > I’ve never used it in front of other people, though. Wait a second! I’m a people! ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/38 "2005-11-29T14:28:41Z")
How could I have forgotten: “It’s so cold the dogs are sticking to the sidewalks.” Thorton Wilder ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/39 "2005-11-29T15:11:29Z")
> [@John\_Stamos'\_Left\_Ear](#): > > Wait a second! I’m a people! Soylent Green is **John\_Stamos’\_Left\_Ear**! ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2005, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102/40 "2005-11-29T15:17:04Z")
Very nice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-colder-than-_________/333102.md?page=3)