# It's difficult to be well-endowed **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 26, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358 "2003-03-26T19:09:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rhinostylee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bc79bd/32.png) [@rhinostylee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhinostylee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/1 "2003-03-26T19:09:02Z")
You may think to yourself, how can that be? Well, let me tell you, having a long johnson has it’s setbacks. Sure, it’s a handy tool when waging a “shock & awe” campaign on the ladies, but beyond that, it becomes a nuisance. Some women are afraid of it and cower away! Kids always come knocking when they can’t find their jump rope! Some of my cowboy friends needed my help lassoing some cattle the other day! Then they needed to use it as a bull-whip! I swear, this huge manhood of mine is more trouble than it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![metroshane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/aeb1de/32.png) [@metroshane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/metroshane)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/2 "2003-03-26T19:15:00Z")
I know what you mean, friends. ---
**Author:** ![lovejoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@lovejoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lovejoy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/3 "2003-03-26T19:23:32Z")
Rhino, that’s funny, I heard that they lost the local flea circus, and when they retrieved it, they then noticed that your wanger was located in the miniature circus’ freakshow section, under the moniker, “See the world’s smallest penis - Bring Your Own Microscope.” ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/4 "2003-03-26T20:08:06Z")
“shock & awe” tee hee… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/5 "2003-03-26T20:14:49Z")
“shock and ‘awwwwwww’!” ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/6 "2003-03-26T20:28:37Z")
Hey **rhino** , whoever told you know that the conversion from centimeters to inches was 1:1 was lying!😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/7 "2003-03-26T20:55:03Z")
. . . and it’s hard to get a good, well…um…you know. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![rhinostylee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bc79bd/32.png) [@rhinostylee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhinostylee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/8 "2003-03-26T20:57:00Z")
I guess I should stop complaining. Want to know why? Because I found a new trick that I can do with my enormous wang! I got this wooden box that measures about 6 feet tall (maybe it was originally used as a coffin, I don’t know). So I looped my schlong through a hole on one side, and stretched it the length of the box, where I hold it tight with one hand. This allows me to pluck my donger like an enormous bass string, and the wooden box amplifies the vibration. It has this warm and deep sound to it. I can change the tone based upon how tightly I stretch my doinkis over the box. I’m a human bass guitar! I can glide a bow across it and it becomes a cello. I can play Moonlight Sonota. It rules. Lovejoy, you sack of crap! How dare you! ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/9 "2003-03-26T20:57:53Z")
_My friend Billy had a ten foot willy He showed it to the girl next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And now it’s only two foot four_ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/10 "2003-03-26T22:02:25Z")
Welcome back, Michael Masterson. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/11 "2003-03-26T23:15:22Z")
As long as you’ve got that thing here, could you snake out my toilet? ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/12 "2003-03-27T01:35:54Z")
“…and deep.” “It looks like a penis, Mountain. Only smaller.” ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/13 "2003-03-27T02:32:37Z")
Well, I’m disappointed. I thought this was going to be a place where I could bemoan having a DD bra cup. FB ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/14 "2003-03-27T02:36:50Z")
:eek: How do you ride a bicycle? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/15 "2003-03-27T02:43:33Z")
Don’t you hate it when you go to pee and you start and it takes like 5 minutes for the pee to reach the end and start coming out. Meanwhile, you are just standing there with it coiled and draped over your left shoulder like an idiot. Any time I had to go to the bathroom between classes in high school, I would be late for the next class. At first, the teachers that I just didn’t care about tardiness but then they heard what a big wang I was having to wrestle back into my pants just to show up at all. That made them respect me even more. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/16 "2003-03-27T03:04:38Z")
**rhinostylee?** You’re coming to the next Dopefest, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/17 "2003-03-27T03:31:09Z")
At least your heirs won’t have to splurge on a coffin. A shoebox should do it. After the enema. ---
**Author:** ![Simbelmyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Simbelmyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simbelmyne)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/18 "2003-03-27T04:55:36Z")
everytime I get an erection, it takes up so much of my blood supply that I faint. At least I can never remember later what happened after that. On the other hand, I can take much better still photographs. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/19 "2003-03-27T05:12:00Z")
[Sir Mix-a-Lot] My anaconda don’t want none unless its got buns, Hon! [/Sir Mix-a-Lot] I feel for ya, Big Guy. ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358/20 "2003-03-27T07:19:23Z")
Just be really careful wearing golf cleats…one wrong step and you’re out ten inches… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-difficult-to-be-well-endowed/164358.md?page=2)