# It's evolution or it's Jesus, Janet. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225 "2001-02-28T16:31:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/1 "2001-02-28T16:31:12Z")
Hey, look! A new [Chick Tract](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5002/5002_01.asp) is out! And it’s about evolution! It’s an instant classic. It’s everything a Chick tract is known for- the quiet, honest, believer; the hateful, spiteful non-believer; the quick dismissal of all contrary evidence as “lies” with a single cite to a book Chick also publishes; the re-telling of the Biblical story with an emphasis on absolute literalness, no matter how convoluted; mockery of other belief systems (“There is no Mother Earth, Janet. It’s all God’s, and he can do with it as he pleases.”); the instant conversion of the heathen simply because someone was willing to read some Bible passages to them. Sigh. I swear, if anyone is the epitome of the anti-Cecil, spreading ignorance and misinformation as much as possible, it is Mr. Chick. Congrats on yet another fine example of your work. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/2 "2001-02-28T16:44:06Z")
C’mon!! Are you saying that you don’t believe that before the Flood, 900-year-old people rode dinosaurs around Venice Beach?? Get with it man!! Throw your sobbing self onto the floor like Janet did . . . before it’s too late!! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/3 "2001-02-28T16:44:31Z")
Gotta love that picture of the child riding a pet triceratops.In addition, Chick uses Kent Hovind as an authority on evolution! It’s a wonderful example of what Ben called “fundie porn” in another thread; the fantasy that the egghead scientists are misled fools and a quick dose of Scripture will upset all their false knowledge and bring them to the Lord. ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/4 "2001-02-28T16:47:21Z")
Must… go … purge… \ Thanks for introducing me to another site my dad would be proud of. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/5 "2001-02-28T16:47:25Z")
> [@](#): > > When God created the Earth in six days He divided the waters and placed a giant canopy of water around it on day two. Nice trick. I like the guy riding the triceratops, too. ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/6 "2001-02-28T16:50:28Z")
awww crap - just ignore that “subject line,” would ya? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Azazel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Azazel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azazel)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/7 "2001-02-28T16:53:48Z")
_“Seashells on the tops of mountains”_?? AAARRRRRGGGHH!!! _Bangs head against wall_ I think Jack Chick must secretly be one of us Godless Evolutionists; this piece seems to be more of a caricature of the Fundamentalist POV than an actual attempt to convince anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/8 "2001-02-28T17:01:21Z")
I had been wondering about the Grand Canyon (USA). Thank goodness that’s all cleared up. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/9 "2001-02-28T17:01:33Z")
450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 40 feet tall is enough room for 50,000 animals with room to spare? Ya…right. So then how come the dinosaurs didn’t make the cut? I mean, there’s a stegosaurus and pterodactyl. Where they wicked too? Ring of water creating a hot house effect? ‘Scuse me while I mentally run through 8 years of Jewish Day School. Nope, sorry. What the fuck are you talking about? According to the Bible, Noah lived somewhere around 10-20 generations after Adam and Eve. Remember Adam and Eve? God’s wrath. Naked people. 20 generations later we had an advanced civilization? Damnit, Janet. You’re such a gullible schmuck. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/10 "2001-02-28T17:01:54Z")
Oh, my heavens, that was WONDERFUL. I think I am going to use the 900-year-old riding a dinosaur as my New Year’s card this year . . . Poor Janet. Now that she’s not an evil godless heathen, she will no doubt drop out of that awful lying college and stop bleaching her hair like a harlot. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/11 "2001-02-28T17:09:48Z")
like all the white people noah and the narrator are particularly good lookin devils all the bad people are ugly like to meet that chick janet - putty in my hands like to fuck that chick jack right up the ass after i get a pentagram tattooed on my cock. ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/12 "2001-02-28T17:12:02Z")
Here’s another pearl of wisdom from the main tract page: “The Allah of Islam is not the God of creation.” \ Yep - that’s about right. ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/13 "2001-02-28T17:13:20Z")
And what’s with the grumpy cyclops guy? I mean, how did sin corrupt this dude so much that a freakin’ EYE appeared on his forehead?!?!? (FWIW, I think the pirate with the patch and the earring in the bottom of the picture is kinda hot.) I think this Jack Chick might be my new favorite lunchtime sport! ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/14 "2001-02-28T17:17:33Z")
I don’t know. Usually, there’s some sort of argument in a Chick Tract. Some sort of back and forth, where the Eeee-Vile Godless Heathen defends their beliefs, before the Saintly Hero shuts them down. This time, the only defense Janet gave was the comment about Mother Earth. It just seemed lacking. No real vitrol. On the other hand, we got Evil Sumerians, Dinosaurs on the Ark, and Kent Hovind, which saves it from utter mediocrity. I give it a 7.5 out of ten. Where’s the bile, the venom? It’s just not the _same_. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/15 "2001-02-28T17:28:53Z")
Thanks, Mr. Chick. That’s one more reason why I’ll never believe in your God. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/16 "2001-02-28T17:31:01Z")
“Various kinds of young land dinosaurs were among the animals that entered this huge ship.” Um… ? So what happened to them? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/17 "2001-02-28T17:41:09Z")
“Various kinds of young land dinosaurs were among the animals that entered this huge ship.” Um… ? So what happened to them? —Well, they had to eat SOMEthing! ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/18 "2001-02-28T17:42:36Z")
It’s good, but I still like the [other evolution one](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp), the one with the ranting professor, better. On a side note, the loading time there seems longer than the loading time here. Is that reason for concern, or do they just have a bad server? ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/19 "2001-02-28T17:43:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*“Various kinds of young land dinosaurs were among the animals that entered this huge ship.” > > Um… ? So what happened to them? \*\* Sigh. Geez, don’t you people EVER read your Hovind? There were dinosaurs on the boat, but they all died out after the flood. With the Great Godly Vapor Canopy [sup]TM[/sup] dissipated, the earth became cooler and more open to harmful stellar radiation. This caused the dinos to die and humans to have much shorter lifespans. IT’S ALL THERE IN THE BOOK!! REPENT NOW!!! [sub]This post sponsored by the Great Godly Vapor Canopy Company of Walla Walla, Washington–Serving all your Great Godly Vapor Canopy needs since 2400 BCE[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/20 "2001-02-28T17:45:53Z")
Well, what do you think the lions and tigers ate for forty days? 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=2)