# It's evolution or it's Jesus, Janet. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225 "2001-02-28T16:31:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/201 "2001-03-06T16:29:58Z")
I’ve never seen the _Superheroes_ movie clip, but the song is included on the soundtrack album (or at least it was when I bought mine in 1977). Someone had to explain to me why the song was on the album. Do they have that clip on the videos? I’ve never bought nor rented it - seems silly to me. What’s RHPS without the crowds, strangers & silliness? But I might rent it just to finally be able to see that bit. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/202 "2001-03-06T16:49:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by redtail23 \* > \*\*Do they have that clip on the videos? I’ve never bought nor rented it - seems silly to me. What’s RHPS without the crowds, strangers & silliness? But I might rent it just to finally be able to see that bit. \*\* They do on mine, but again, I have an edition that I had to order from Japan back in the mid-80s. Actually RHPS is kinda cool in it’s own way without the crowds. There’s so much stuff I’d never heard before watching it in silence (Did you know that Brad and Janet, just before the flat tire, are listening to Nixon’s resignation speech?) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2001, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/203 "2001-03-06T23:18:26Z")
It was great when it all began I was a liberal, loving, happy man But it was over when I found the plan Corrupting youth with any ways I can Now the only thing that give me hope Is devil worship, sex, and smoking dope Jack Chick my world and keep me safe from-a using my brain. I am just 7 hours old Just some dividing cells with a soul And my unwed mother should be told That my legal rights are in control And the only thing that matters most Is my life, not my bio-host Jack Chick my world and keep me safe from-a using my brain. It’s too trippy Help me, Chicky I’ll be good, you’ll see Take these thoughts away What’s this, repent? I feel enlightenment Was this what Jack meant? I hope it doesn’t mean I’m gay I feel released Evil thoughts have decreased My insights have increased Others look depraved The rules have been explained to me Everyone’s going to hell you see 'Cept Jack Chick and his army We have all been saved Even though this came to me in the shower I still feel dirty. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/204 "2001-03-07T16:25:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > Actually RHPS is kinda cool in it’s own way without the crowds. There’s so much stuff I’d never heard before watching it in silence (Did you know that Brad and Janet, just before the flat tire, are listening to Nixon’s resignation speech?) \*\* Probably the difference in our theatre experiences. I was watching it every weekend, in the 70s in Oklahoma. There were enough nights when almost no one showed up to memorize every word. The regulars also used those evenings to come up with new bits for the masses. 😃 I’ve only seen it once since then, about 6 years ago (more or less). That was a traumatizing experience! In the first place, I think they were using the same print I watched 15 years earlier, with multiple bad splices. Even worse, people got up before the show and announced the rules (_ **rules?!?!!?** _) for the show. And to my absolute horror, people _followed_ the rules like little lost sheep! :shudder: I can still quote much of the movie & sing all the songs, despite near total lack of exposure for the past two decades. I’m almost sure I could have used that brain space for something useful. Oh well, guess it’s too late now, eh? So is there any market for early memorabilia? I’ve got a fan club membership with the original two little zines, a calendar & scrapbook, maybe some more stuff if I looked. They never did send anything after that first set, so I’m guessing that the ‘official’ fan club curled up and died fairly quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Ptahlis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a8b319/32.png) [@Ptahlis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ptahlis)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/205 "2001-03-07T19:33:42Z")
I just had to pop in and say that this is one of the most entertaining threads I have ever seen here. Between the Jack Chick Parody site and the RHPS lyrics, I laughed all yesterday afternoon. I also listened to the RHPS soundtrack last night for the first time in quite a while 🙂 To think that Jack Chick inspired a thread devoted to a movie about a bisexual bed-hopping transvestite gives me a warm glow and a little more hope for the future. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/206 "2001-03-07T22:24:09Z")
Should we email this thread to Mr. Chick? Would he appreciate it? Or would he have conniptions? Would he think it came straight from the Devil? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/207 "2001-03-08T00:04:02Z")
Oh yes! Let’s-it’ll be soooo cool! Maybe he’ll piss himself! ---
**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/208 "2001-03-08T22:48:37Z")
I’ve been following this thread, laughing at the straw man evolution comics, remembering seeing these comics on buses and other place, laughing at some of the parodies, however . . . I just read through [The Story of Alberto, Jusuit Priest who converted to Christianity](http://www.chick.com/reading/comics/0112/0112_fourpages.asp?pg=01) and it scared the hell out of me. Are there actually people who believe this stuff? Is this guy actually delusional? Nuns killing babies? The Church wanting to rule the world? Trilateral Commission anybody? I don’t think I’d be out of line if I compared this stuff with Goebbels’ propoganda machine. i.e., he is deliberately trying to villify a group of people in a surprisingly hateful way. This whole “Catholics aren’t Christian” thing is absurd on its face, and gets even more absurd when one considers that all Protestants owe their existence to the Catholic Church, differences aside. Perhaps the Church should sue for slander, but, of course, it would be seen as a silencing tactic. I was also amused that he felt obligated to define big words like intelligencia. Check out the book cover for [The secret History of the Jesuits](http://www.chick.com/reading/books/153/153_03.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/209 "2001-03-08T22:54:41Z")
Considering how many Jesuits spoke out against the Nazis, that’s just fucking sick. Next thing you know, Chick will start spouting off about how Archbishop Romero was a commie. Grrr…I hate this man. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/210 "2001-03-08T23:23:59Z")
He ain’t too happy with [Mormons,](http://www.chick.com/bc/1999/mormon.asp) either. (It’s not a tract.) Funny part is that I actually agree with some of the things written about Mormons here and [here.](http://www.chick.com/bc/1998/mormonmyths.asp) ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/211 "2001-03-08T23:44:25Z")
Jab1, I keep meaning to ask–can I also use your quote as my sig? It is so _perfect_ (except I may change like one little word). Quix ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/212 "2001-03-09T00:53:55Z")
I suppose so. I change sigs nearly as often as I change my socks! ---
**Author:** ![Kyberneticist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kyberneticist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyberneticist)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/213 "2001-03-09T05:22:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LateComer \* > \*\*I’ve been following this thread, laughing at the straw man evolution comics, remembering seeing these comics on buses and other place, laughing at some of the parodies, however . . . > > I just read through [The Story of Alberto, Jusuit Priest who converted to Christianity](http://www.chick.com/reading/comics/0112/0112_fourpages.asp?pg=01) and it scared the hell out of me. > > Are there actually people who believe this stuff? Is this guy actually delusional? Nuns killing babies? The Church wanting to rule the world? Trilateral Commission anybody? > > I don’t think I’d be out of line if I compared this stuff with Goebbels’ propoganda machine. i.e., he is deliberately trying to villify a group of people in a surprisingly hateful way. This whole “Catholics aren’t Christian” thing is absurd on its face, and gets even more absurd when one considers that all Protestants owe their existence to the Catholic Church, differences aside. Perhaps the Church should sue for slander, but, of course, it would be seen as a silencing tactic. > > I was also amused that he felt obligated to define big words like intelligencia. > > Check out the book cover for [The secret History of the Jesuits](http://www.chick.com/reading/books/153/153_03.asp) > > \*\* I was curious about the Alberto Rivera fellow, so ran a google search on his name. The following came up. The Real Alberto Rivera [http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ343.HTM](http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ343.HTM) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/214 "2001-03-09T13:45:53Z")
Kyb, that’s a _great_ link. Kudos. ---
**Author:** ![Kyberneticist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kyberneticist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyberneticist)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/215 "2001-03-09T16:17:25Z")
Why thank ye. Inspired by praise (my main motivator for work) I present the following entertaining views of Chick. [http://www.walkertown.com/jack.html](http://www.walkertown.com/jack.html) Interview with Jack T. Chick. The whole site is kinda neat. [http://users.cybercity.dk/~ccc44406/smwane/todd02.htm](http://users.cybercity.dk/~ccc44406/smwane/todd02.htm) [http://holysmoke.org/sdhok/todd00.htm](http://holysmoke.org/sdhok/todd00.htm) The Alberto Rivera link mentions another Chick sponsored fellow (no mention of him now on the Chick website, and [tracts modified](http://www.fecundity.com/pmagnus/darkdung.html)). These links tell all. ---
**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2001, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/216 "2001-03-09T18:56:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyberneticist \* > I was curious about the Alberto Rivera fellow, so ran a google search on his name. > The following came up. > The Real Alberto Rivera > [http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ343.HTM](http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ343.HTM) \*\* I felt a little better after reading this, until I got to the end. Did you see this? > [@](#): > > Brought to you by Dave Armstrong, 2nd Lieutenant Colonel (Y2K Division) of the Jesuit / Jewish Banker / Nazi / Communist / Illuminati / Pan-African / Masonic / Trilateral Commission / New Age World Conspiracy; uploaded on 1 January 1999 (if you flip “999” upside down, do you know what it becomes!!!). You would think that the conspiracy against Jack Chick would be able to cover its trail better than this. What was the Black Pope thinking? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/217 "2001-03-10T01:02:51Z")
OH good lord. The JESUITS trained Trotsky, Lenin and Stalin? Give me a break! BOTH Lenin and Stalin were raised Russian Orthodox. Lenin was a devout atheist who did everything he could to destroy religion in Russia. Stalin learned about Bolshevism in the ORTHODOX seminary! THAt is NOT to blame Orthodox Christianity for the Bolsheviks, mind you. Trotsky was Jewish, if I’m not mistaken. (And NO, I’m NOT saying the Jews were responsible for the Russian Revolution.) And the MASONS are being directed by the Jesuits? Considering how much the Catholic church speaks out against the Masons for some God-knows-how-stupid-it-is reason, that’s a crock. Yeah, and I’ll bet Archbishop Romero really WAS killed for being a commie, Jack. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2001, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/218 "2001-03-10T21:23:49Z")
In the tract mentioned in the OP, Chick claims the Flood occurred “4400 years ago.” Unfortunately for Chick, [the world’s oldest bristlecone pine tree,](http://www.sonic.net/bristlecone/intro.html) which lives in the White Mountains near the California-Nevada state line, is 4,767 years old. (We know its age by simply counting its rings.) Man, that’s some tree. It managed to survive being underwater for an entire year and also managed to survive the raising of the mountains, which the tract claims took only a year to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Kyberneticist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kyberneticist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyberneticist)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/219 "2001-03-11T02:57:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jab1 \* > \*\*In the tract mentioned in the OP, Chick claims the Flood occurred “4400 years ago.” Unfortunately for Chick, [the world’s oldest bristlecone pine tree,](http://www.sonic.net/bristlecone/intro.html) which lives in the White Mountains near the California-Nevada state line, is 4,767 years old. (We know its age by simply counting its rings.) > > Man, that’s some tree. It managed to survive being underwater for an entire year and also managed to survive the raising of the mountains, which the tract claims took only a year to happen. \*\* Did you read the story on that site of “Prometheus” the 4,950 year old tree cut down in 1964 to count the rings? If it was alive today that would make Prometheus almost 5,000 years old. Wow. And of course, yet another tree to have survived the flood. Since Wildest Bill thinks God intervened to save fresh/salt water fish, he must have also had forcefields around the trees. One wonders why bother with a flood. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2001, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/220 "2001-03-12T20:40:02Z")
No, but I did read the dendrochronology page, where it was explained that by comparing and matching rings of dead trees, one could construct an unbroken timeline going back nearly 9,000 years. Chick and his ilk think the Earth is only about 6,000 years old. _SNORT_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=12)