# It's evolution or it's Jesus, Janet. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225 "2001-02-28T16:31:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/21 "2001-02-28T17:47:39Z")
Dammit! **Eve** beat me to it! :: curses slow connection :: ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/22 "2001-02-28T17:53:54Z")
Janet should have known better than to trust a professor with a third eye in the middle of his forehead. And speaking of evil eyes, she needs to throw away all her dollar bills _immediately_. ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/23 "2001-02-28T17:58:48Z")
All I know is that “Janet” looks suspiciously like “Suzi” in the Chick classic, [“That Crazy Guy!”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0090/0090_01.asp) ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/24 "2001-02-28T18:00:16Z")
I especially like that the Great Godly Vapor Canopy, which appears to be in Low-Earth Orbit, breaks open and rains down to Earth **without simply evaporating as it passes through the atmosphere**. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/25 "2001-02-28T18:02:38Z")
I was _born_ in Walla Walla- lived there till I was in second grade or so- My _dad_ was one of the electricians At The Great Canopy Co… So dude, take it easy, you’re offending my sensibilities… ::inor, still wantin ta fuck that jack chick:: ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/26 "2001-02-28T18:02:49Z")
What’s white and slimy and falls from the sky? The Coming of the Lord ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/27 "2001-02-28T18:03:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Protesilaus \* > **It’s good, but I still like the [other evolution one](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp), the one with the ranting professor, better.** After reading that link, let’s go through my reactions. Jaw: dropped. Mouth: agape. Belief that even literal creationists can understand basic atomic theory: destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![c\_goat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/28 "2001-02-28T18:14:06Z")
Now I’m confused… > [@](#): > > **2000 years ago God (the Son) left Heaven and came to this world. His name was Jesus Christ. It was He who created the Earth and brought the Flood.** Since when was God also also known as “the Son”? So Jesus Christ was actually God? God is his own son? That’s cooler than your brother being your dad if you ask me. And then there’s this: > [@](#): > > **For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son… that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.** 1. Hmm, when Jesus died, he went back to heaven with God right? So he didn’t give his son, he took him back. 2. Do you know anyone that lives forever? No? I guess noone believes in Jesus (the Father) then. This is why I don’t go to church anymore. Simple logic does not prevail. I’m going to Hell I guess, with Satan (the Angel). ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/29 "2001-02-28T18:16:58Z")
Y’know, I think Chick is starting to work with continuing characters. Isn’t the guy from this new one the same guy who proved the Earth was created in 6 days in [this one](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5001/5001_01.asp)? My favorite line from that latter one: “Since so many scientists contradict each other… I found [the Bible] to be the **only** source I can trust.” Of course, Dark Dungeons is still the best Chick tract of all time. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/30 "2001-02-28T18:33:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \* > What’s white and slimy and falls from the sky? > > The Coming of the Lord And I’d just cleaned my monitor, too…😉 [sub]I meant that as ‘Ender’s post made me laugh a bit too hard’, but a second interpretation occurred to me. Nevermind.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/31 "2001-02-28T18:37:59Z")
Er, water is more dense than both oxygen and nitrogen, right? So what held this here “vapor canopy” up over the atmosphere? Pondering that sets me to wondering what ol’ Jack is more dense than. Haven’t come up with anything yet. ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/32 "2001-02-28T19:12:01Z")
I love it when Janet, queen of Science, clutches her throat and screams “He was going to destroy Mother Earth?” Ah, Jack, you crazy, paranoid bastard. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/33 "2001-02-28T19:12:01Z")
I really want to believe that this site is a joke… my favorite part is the “Witnessing Ideas”. Aren’t sure how to annoy everyone around you? Here are some tips! Golly, you can witness while shopping! [ul] [li]Hand a tract to the cashier[/li][li]Leave tracts on shelves in stores[/li][li]Place a tract in the pockets of the clothes[/li][li]Hand tracts to the passengers on the elevators[/li][li]etc., etc., etc.[/li][/ul] Oh, and that’s not all… you can also witness while on vacation! “Traveling overseas? Don’t forget to take foreign language Chick tracts with you.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/34 "2001-02-28T19:31:22Z")
Jack Chick reminds me of Miss Clack from Wilkie Collins’s novel, _The Moonstone_. The novel is a mystery told from several first-person narratives. Miss Clack is an elderly Fundie who torments everyone around her with her uncharitable behavior, but from her point of view, she is a poor, putupon saint who is cruelly misunderstood. She hands out tracts titled, “Satan in the Hairbrush” and “Satan at the Dressing Table”, and tells anyone in earshot that they are headed straight to hell. Similarly, Chick tracts are ostensibly written out of love for sinners, but they are the biggest collection of bigotry and scientific illiteracy I’ve seen in a while. Oh, and just so I can fit in with the tracts, HAW, HAW, HAW! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/35 "2001-02-28T19:31:31Z")
My favorite line is: > [@](#): > > Your professor deliberately sidestepped Noah’s Flood because it destroys his belief. Oh, the irony. I also like the image of the whirlpools sucking down everything to create fossils. I also have to say, that’s the first image of seen of the ark as a big rectangle – it almost looks like some sort of coffin. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/36 "2001-02-28T19:40:49Z")
Rocket88… In answer to your question, Why God hisself was a-holdin it up. He was holdin it up wit his love! But then his love died and the rain fell down! _ahem_ The part that bugged me the most was the line after the “And HE promised to never use water to destroy the earth again…” “Next time it’s FIRE!” So what Mr. Chick (hehe that always cracks me up. Mr chick.)is telling us is that this here loving god is a-gonna burn us all up. With love like that, I’ll take hate. (The author would like to mention that he is Wiccan and thinks Chick is an idiot. These views MAY have colored his opinion on this matter. That is all.) ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/37 "2001-02-28T19:42:54Z")
Oh, Minty, thanks for linking to “That Crazy Guy!” Who knew the Marlboro Man was not only bad in bed, but carried diseases? I don’t know who’s my favorite character: wacky Ms. Damien (her first name is, I’m sure, “Possessa”) or the doctor who intones, “There’s no cure and you’re going to DIE.” Of course, he says that even when you come in with a sprained ankle, then tries to convert you . . . ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/38 "2001-02-28T19:53:52Z")
> [@](#): > > Hovind’s contention is that evolution is not science, but an alternate belief system - a religion. Surely it takes more faith to believe that animals came from rocks than it does to believe in a loving Creator Who designed them. Leaving aside the pure idiocy of “animals came from rocks”, is he saying his faith is relatively weak? jm ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/39 "2001-02-28T19:54:03Z")
I noticed the link to non-English tracts, so I decided to look around. The number of languages listed is pretty long (what the heck is Bemba?), but I only found “It’s Coming” in Spanish. It would be interesting to have some people fluent in other languages see how the translation is. It’s kind of funny to see the same drawings with a different language – I particularly liked the Chinese versions. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/40 "2001-02-28T20:16:28Z")
All right people, move along. Nothing to see here. We’ve been informed that this is a “dead horse issue”, that only “a very few inerrent fundamentalists” believe this stuff and that it’s “unAmerican” to poke holes in this sort of belief by **Danielinthewolvesden** (why wolves and not lions?) in at least two seperate posts. ( [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50929) and [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=55436)). Beware the continuation of this discussion lest you incur Danielinthewolvesden (really: why wolves?)'s mighty wrath. 😃 That said, I don’t care for this artist as much as the old one. Janet looks kinda grungy, like she hasn’t slept in months. (But since she’s an unbeliever, who knows what sorts of deviltry she’s been up to?!) And I strongly agree with E-Sabbath: the bile content here is entirely too low. On the other hand, he gets points for the kiddie riding the Triceretops so maybe it balances out. It’s still not as “good” as the anti-Jewish **and** anti-Catholic tract “[The Holocaust](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0054/0054_01.asp)” (People are only Jews because they hate Christians. And once they learn that the Catholics are behind Holocaust, they’ll convert.) One last thing: I can’t let this sort of a discussion go by without mentioning the single funniest/dumbest Creationist site on the internet. This guy makes Jack Chick look like Godel, Einstein and Hawking put together by comparison. Check [here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/14flod03.htm) for just a taste of his flood ideas, [here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/01-ma2.htm) for 41 ASTOUNDING points proving astrophysicists are wrong and [here](http://www.pathlights.com/ce_encyclopedia/03-ss6.htm) for a Jack Chick like dialogue with an eee-vil heathen astronomy instructor. Sample dialogue: Instructor: Everything began with a Big Bang, when nothing suddenly came together and exploded. Student: But prof, “nothing” can’t explode. Instructor: Our theoreticians have theorized that nothing might be able to explode under the right conditions, if compacted enough Student: But prof, there would be nothing to press “nothing” together; gravity surely wouldn’t Hey, Jack Chick! This person has a future writing your comics! Fenris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=3)