# It's evolution or it's Jesus, Janet. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 28, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225 "2001-02-28T16:31:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/161 "2001-03-03T18:29:01Z")
If an even number of people tell me I’m going to hell, do they cancel each other out? Is there a point where one can be so hellbound they swing right back around again to salvation? If jesus saves and recycling saves, what happens if we recyle jesus? Finally, what’s white and slimy but never quite as powerful as the first time? The second coming of the messiah. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/162 "2001-03-03T18:40:46Z")
How to be as offensive as possible: 1. Start with the popular [One Way](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0081/0081_01.asp) tract. > [@](#): > > Using just pictures and very few words [none of that pesky dialogue], this tract shows that Jesus is the only way to obtain eternal life. Great for children! 1. Adapt it “especially for Native American people.” Viola – you have [The True Path](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1710/1710_01.asp). ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/163 "2001-03-03T19:56:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > **Wait-Heidi went to Heaven, EVEN THOUGH she went trick or treating! What the fuck?** You’re right. The Heidi tract has a 1998 copyright. [“BOO!”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0058/0058_01.asp) which tells about the evils of Halloween, has a 1991 copyright. Apparently, Chick has a short memory. But I guess it’s hard to keep all those masterpieces straight in such a twisted brain. BTW: “BOO!” repeats the false doctrine that one of the names of Satan is Lucifer. The name “Lucifer” appears in the Bible only one time, in Isaiah, and it actually refers to a local king, perhaps of Babylon, perhaps Nebuchadnezzar himself. And I’m sure our resident pagans and Wiccans wiil find many errors in Chick’s history of Halloween. For one thing, he claims that the Druids engaged in human sacrifice. ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/164 "2001-03-03T20:34:15Z")
Uh, Jab, the Druids did most likely engage in human sacrifice (though I certainly don’t know any modern-day druids that do so). Some of the victims were apparently willing, some were not. And I don’t see where Chick should be so horrified at human sacrifice when his God did it Himself, anyhow. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/165 "2001-03-03T20:50:25Z")
Well, I found the one that pissed me off the most: [Flight 144](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0041/0041_01.asp) This is just sad and wrong on so many levels. It’s ok to lie steal murder cheat and do every immoral thing imaginable, for if you trust Jesus the rest will sort itself out. I understand that Chick and his minions aren’t exactly rational, but I cannot possibly imagine any rational person accepting a God that acted like this. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/166 "2001-03-03T20:56:37Z")
not really but he’s pretty clever. My former church used to have a pile of chick tracts on their tables. The deacon used to put the Halloween ones all over bus stops around Lakewood. They don’t realize people are turned off by these things. Actually right now I’ve just finished reading Son of a Preacher Man by Jay Bakker (son of Tammy Faye) and its really good. He is in a thing called Revolution which reaches out to punks, misfits whatever where they are, without expecting them to change outfits or quit smoking whatever. Pretty cool. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/167 "2001-03-03T21:21:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JeffB \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Using just pictures and very few words [none of that pesky dialogue], this tract shows that Jesus is the only way to obtain eternal life. Great for children! > > \*\* This reminded me a bit of _Codex Seraphinianus._ Suppose you had never heard of Christianity- would it be possible to figure out what was going on in that tract from the pictures alone, or would it just look surreal and incomprehensible? Imagine a pictures-only tract explaining Cao Daiism, for example. “What’s Victor Hugo doing in here?” “That’s Victor Hugo?” -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/168 "2001-03-03T21:44:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ben \* > \*\* > This reminded me a bit of _Codex Seraphinianus._ > \*\* \ Sigh. Dammit, _why_ won’t someone reprint the Codex Seraphininanus in an affordable edition? I don’t have $400.00 dollars to spend on it used. \ Fenris ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@The\_Tim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tim)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/169 "2001-03-03T23:04:26Z")
[http://www.chick.com/bc/2001/harry.asp](http://www.chick.com/bc/2001/harry.asp) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/170 "2001-03-03T23:27:51Z")
Fellow Chick Fans: I know this isn’t Ebay, but I can’t resist asking. Is there anybody out there who has a copy of “Wounded Children” (Chick’s explanation of homosexuality) that they can spare? I gave mine away years ago, and it has since gone out of print. Somehow, I can’t bring myself to commission an entire print run and buy them all, which is the solution which the Chick site recommends for those in such a dilemma. If you’ve never read “Wounded Children,” you’re really missing something. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/171 "2001-03-03T23:45:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Tim \* > \*\*[http://www.chick.com/bc/2001/harry.asp](http://www.chick.com/bc/2001/harry.asp) > > :rolleyes: \*\* From the link: “So Harry Potter, born wizard, raised by dull, useless, boring, relatives (who resemble fundamentalist Christians) …” You said it, not me! "In the process he experiences episodes of astral projection, levitation, blood sacrifices, animal sacrifices and a baby boiled in a cauldron. " Could someone tell me what, exactly, they are taking out of context here? “For Bible believers who are admonished to avoid even the “appearance of evil” the Harry Potter craze is just another wave in the ocean of evil washing over our land.” This reminds me of my pet peeve about “fundie etiquette”: fundies are, in fact, _more_ concerned with appearance than with reality. -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/172 "2001-03-03T23:51:45Z")
Not tracts, mind you, but actual COMIC BOOKS! With COLOR and everything! Yes, [THE CRUSADERS!](http://www.chick.com/catalog/comics/0110.asp). **Tim** is a vaguely transgendered-looking man-woman. Desperate to cover up his sexual confusion he grows…SIDEBURNS to reaffirm his masculine nature. He reminds you of Freddy from Scooby Doo, but not nearly as macho. He’s partnered with **Jim:** A funky black guy who escaped from The Mod Squad to become a slightly subservient sidekick to the man-woman. But it’s ok, because it’s his _choice!_ Together they’re Christian Para-Normal Investigators. Sort of like a slightly homoerotic Scooby Doo For Jesus. I actually had the comic I linked above (or was it [this one?](http://www.chick.com/catalog/comics/0102.asp)) at one time and I’m tempted to get it again if it didn’t mean giving Jack Chick cash. In the one I had, a young girl gets mixed up with the occult and ROCK’N’ROLL music (which Druids invented, don’tcha know?) and that Satan LOVES Broadway Musicals because either they make Jesus look like a clown (Godspell) or they make him look like a wimp (J.C. Superstar). They’re a Christianized I-Spy meets the X[sub]tian[/sub]-Files! They’re mod! They’re groovy! They don’t wear their shirts much! The heroes _KICK ASS_ for Christ! What more could you want!? And they seem to have a [“fan” page](http://www.walkertown.com/jack.html) or [two!](http://members.tripod.com/monsterwax/chickcomics.html#operation) :eek: Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/173 "2001-03-03T23:57:08Z")
Oops…forgot to add one more link: [Angels](http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/311.html), the _true_ story of ROCK’N’ROLL (The Devil’s Own Rhythm) as MSTed by some really clever guy. Lotsa laffs! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/174 "2001-03-04T00:16:27Z")
Ben, you must’ve missed the letter to _Reader’s Digest_ about Harry Potter. Oh, man! I laughed myself silly. Since it’s probably copyrighted, the only thing I can suggest is you search RD’s website for the fundied fool’s letter. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/175 "2001-03-04T00:52:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gaudere \* > **Uh, Jab, the Druids did most likely engage in human sacrifice (though I certainly don’t know any modern-day druids that do so). Some of the victims were apparently willing, some were not.** Oops. :o ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/176 "2001-03-04T01:54:08Z")
Some of the characters in [“Doom Town”](http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0273/0273_01.asp) look like movie stars! This one is better-drawn than Chick’s usual 6th-grader style. It’s obvious that this artist used movie star photos as models. The Christian who converts a gay man looks like Clark Gable. The gay man reminds me of the late River Phoenix. (In some panels, “Gable’s” hair is parted on the right; in others, it’s on the left.) The young Abraham looks like a young Richard Harris. I’m not sure who Lot resembles, but he looks familiar… In one panel is a statue of a demon that resembles the one found by Max von Sydow in the opening sequence of _The Exorcist._ (Baal?) Near the end is an image of Moses with the Ten Commandments. Guess who he resembles…? (Hint: He’s the president of the NRA!) BTW: In this tract, Chick (or his ghost-writer/artist) includes the infamous scene where Lot offers his virgin daughters to the mob. But he left out the part where Lot’s wife becomes a pillar of salt. (Wouldn’t that be taking away from Scripture? Hmmmm…) I have way too much time on my hands… ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/177 "2001-03-04T03:11:10Z")
A friend of mine wanted to use the “even children were not safe from their gross peversions” panel from “Doom Town” on a flyer for a party, but the printer refused to print it. 😃 I can buy Chick tracts for a quarter apiece at a bookstore in Chicago (hm, Hanukkah presents for David B? \ ), but the only one I currently have is the Halloween tract that was left at my door. ---
**Author:** ![inor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f475e1/32.png) [@inor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/178 "2001-03-04T03:19:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes, many teachers are ignoring the **dark side of the Potter books** and **using them in class simply because it promotes an interest in reading**. Anybody else feel the need for hernia surgery after reading this? Well, and crying after reading the second bolded part… and ooohooohooohooohfuckfuckfuckfuckfucketc I was jsut walking my dogs, thinking about that jack chick- and I _think_ I might have it- Ok now, follow me here- lets say someone lived for a loooong time, I mean almost like an immortal. Now, what would happen over, say, a 2000 year span of time, genetically and free radically speaking? They would pretty much be some kind of really damaged mental mush piles, neh? Now, if you will, What are Jack Chick’s initials? (_Squaaaawwk!_ and inor _passes_ Ender by a good yard in this exciting race to hell, race fans! Oh, what a glorious week it’s been so far but _this_ announcer sez it’s not over till the fat lady sings and there’r still _more_ upsets and edge-of-your-seat suprises in store for us here on race day…) ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/179 "2001-03-04T03:29:52Z")
um, I have a copy of the first printing of the _Codex Seraphinianus_, and I only spent $75 on it. Of course, this was back when it was first published in the US, almost twenty years ago. I have since gotten married and no longer have the discretionary funds for such a purchase. Odd book. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225/180 "2001-03-04T03:59:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DrFidelius \* > \*\*um, I have a copy of the first printing of the _Codex Seraphinianus_, and I only spent $75 on it. > > Of course, this was back when it was first published in the US, almost twenty years ago.\*\* Fenris’s Law: Mention that you want an expensive, rare item and someone’ll innocently respond that they have one and got it at a price that will break your heart. 🙂 (see [bookfinder.com](http://bookfinder.com) for an idea of current market value. The Abbyville press version is _impossible_ to find, and if you can it goes for about $200.00. The Italian version goes for about $300.00, minimum.) \ Someday… (For those who don’t know what Dr F and I are talking about, check this out for coolness. [Codex](http://www.io.com/~iareth/codindx.html)) Fenris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-evolution-or-its-jesus-janet/56225.md?page=10)