# It's Festivus today! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 23, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173 "2011-12-23T07:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/21 "2011-12-23T18:17:28Z")
Stop crying and fight your father. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/22 "2011-12-23T20:27:08Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > BTW: That’s a nice pole. Is it aluminum? Hmmm, interesting. The fact that the traditional Festivus pole is aluminum means that this tradition can’t have been around for very long, since we only discovered how to make aluminum out of bauxite ore at the dawn of the 20th century. Either that, or it was a tradition confined to the rich, who could afford to make a pole out of the outrageously expensive metal in the 19th century. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/23 "2011-12-23T20:38:34Z")
Festivus was invented by Frank Costanza circa 1965ish as a holiday for the rest of us. So there’s no way it was celebrated by the 19th century rich. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/24 "2011-12-23T20:42:53Z")
I have a Festivus pole erected in my front window. Unfortunately, my son insisted that we attach the wire branches with the plastic needles on them and adorn it with lights and ornaments and such. Damn thing looks like a Xmas tree now! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/25 "2011-12-23T20:47:35Z")
> [@Rich\_Mann](#): > > I have a Festivus pole erected in my front window. > > Unfortunately, my son insisted that we attach the wire branches with the plastic needles on them and adorn it with lights and ornaments and such. > > Damn thing looks like a Xmas tree now! But there’s no tinsel on it, right? I find tinsel distracting. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/26 "2011-12-23T21:08:38Z")
I got a lot of problems with you people! And now, you’re gonna hear about it! cochrane! You couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a date with a hot babe… Also, I can’t believe this thread opened up on the exact day of Festivus. It’s a Festivus miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/27 "2011-12-24T01:31:34Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > But there’s no tinsel on it, right? I find tinsel distracting. No, no tinsel, yuck! And no garlands or popcorn strings either. You’ve got to draw the line somewhere or it denies the whole spirit of a Festivus pole! I’m thinking about swapping the angel on top for a Cthulhu figurine and seeing if anyone notices. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/28 "2011-12-24T15:43:16Z")
Funny bit about my Festivus pole. I put it out near the road yesterday morning. I stood out there with my coffee admiring the beauty that resulted from all that hard work. In the span of a few minutes a handful of little ole ladies drove by, looking at it with a WTF? expression on their faces. Then, here comes the local scrap metal guy with a bunch of washing machines, gutter parts, pipes and other assorted crap in the back of his truck. He slowed down eyeing my magnificent aluminum pole (no that is not some code phrase thank you very much). We made eye contact and I waved him off, and then I stood guard out there until he left the neighborhood. For the rest of the day I had to nervously check on my Festivus Pole frequently. I even brought it in for the night and just put it back out again this morning. Man, I would have been airing some serious grievances had my Festivus Pole been stolen 5 minutes after I had put it out (I actually need that pole for something important). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/29 "2011-12-24T20:03:17Z")
I couldn’t find my keys this morning, but then my wife told me where they were. It’s a Festivus miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/30 "2011-12-25T21:44:52Z")
Put a bare aluminum pole out by the driveway near the street. Yeah, that looks exactly like what people do with trash and unwanted furniture and old appliances. You bet the scrap metal guy was eyeballing it. How is he to know you actually want the object next to the curb, as opposed to everybody else’s object next to the curb they don’t want. Just something to ponder if you are thinking of decorating with a Festivus pole. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/31 "2011-12-25T22:20:48Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I couldn’t find my keys this morning, but then my wife told me where they were. It’s a Festivus miracle! Our crew had a gift exchange, but I didn’t bring a gift! Luckily they had plenty of gifts donated by the company so I was able to do the gift exchange too. It’s another Festivus miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/32 "2011-12-25T23:07:09Z")
I thought I’d stepped in some dog poop today, but it turns out I hadn’t. Yet another Festivus miracle! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/33 "2011-12-26T01:45:16Z")
I built a Festivus pole, erected it and then went shopping. When I came back there were strippers. Is that normal? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/34 "2011-12-26T14:41:44Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > I built a Festivus pole, erected it and then went shopping. When I came back there were strippers. Is that normal? Around here it is. I don’t really mind, though. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/35 "2011-12-26T17:14:03Z")
My daughter’s birthday is the 23rd. We have always tried very hard to make her feel special and not have her birthday be over shadowed by the Festivus celebrations. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/36 "2011-12-27T03:59:55Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > My daughter’s birthday is the 23rd. We have always tried very hard to make her feel special and not have her birthday be over shadowed by the Festivus celebrations. Good idea. One less grievance for her to list. ---
**Author:** ![rriggstx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@rriggstx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rriggstx)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/37 "2011-12-27T17:49:30Z")
Years ago, my oldest son wanted to make Festivus our official winter holiday. We went and obtained the requisite aluminum pole, opting to make use of a standard 5’ fence pole, with “acorn” end cap. We placed said Festivus pole in the appropriate place of honor in our livingroom. The next day I returned home to look at the wonderous symbol with a fresh set of eyes. It suddenly occurred to me that my son and I had erected (yes, erected) a more-than-obvious five-foot phallic symbol in the middle of the room. Upon reflection, it seems that the Festivus pole did bring appropriately good luck in the following year… ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/38 "2011-12-27T19:20:07Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > Feats of strength? I propose we hoist mugs of beer. Whoever can hoist the heaviest mug without spilling beer all over him/herself wins. I hereby withdraw any grievances I may or may not have made about **swampbear** … ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/39 "2011-12-27T19:53:13Z")
> [@rriggstx](#): > > Years ago, my oldest son wanted to make Festivus our official winter holiday. We went and obtained the requisite aluminum pole, opting to make use of a standard 5’ fence pole, with “acorn” end cap. > > We placed said Festivus pole in the appropriate place of honor in our livingroom. The next day I returned home to look at the wonderous symbol with a fresh set of eyes. It suddenly occurred to me that my son and I had erected (yes, erected) a more-than-obvious five-foot phallic symbol in the middle of the room. > > Upon reflection, it seems that the Festivus pole did bring appropriately good luck in the following year… I can’t stand people who leave their Festivus pole up until the spring equinox, so don’t leave it there too long. It’s as bad as the people who put it up the day after Thanksgiving. It just takes all the meaning out of Festivus. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173/40 "2011-12-27T20:25:57Z")
I sent out (well, put on Waste of time Book) greetings for _Festivus Sol Invictus_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-festivus-today/607173.md?page=3)