# It's gold, Jerry. GOLD. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 23, 2004, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830 "2004-06-23T17:16:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/41 "2004-06-24T15:25:58Z")
This one cracks me up every time I see it: Kramer (as Moviefone guy): “Why don’t you just _tell_ me the name of the movie you want to see.” ---
**Author:** ![Severian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@Severian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Severian)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/42 "2004-06-24T15:49:46Z")
“_It looks like a dead bear!_” - Kramer, upon seeing Joe Mayo’s fur coat in the tree (or was it Puddy’s coat? 😉 ) “_Hey, how’d you know about that guy in the park?_” - Kramer, upon being released from the interrogation room “_because the murderer struck again!_” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/43 "2004-06-24T15:51:31Z")
Jerry, tot the holistic healer : “Couchgrass _and_ crampbark? You know, I think that’s what killed Curly.” ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/44 "2004-06-24T16:58:28Z")
Mrs. Costanza “ohhhh myyyyy Goooooddd!” (several occasions when discovering her husband & Kramer in gay-appearing situations) RE Puddy’s signs of religiosity- Jerry “So you’re OK with lazy and stupid but not with religious?” Elaine “Lazy and stupid I can understand!” She’s a true Doper! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/45 "2004-06-24T17:02:10Z")
George: You’re Batman. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/46 "2004-06-24T17:19:08Z")
Elaine: Dav-id! I’m going to hell! With the devils and the pitchforks and the. . . and the ragged clothing! And the _heat._ My God, the heat! Puddy: It’ll be rough. Elaine: You should be trying to SAVE ME. Puddy: _Don’t boss me._ This is why you’re going to hell. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/47 "2004-06-24T19:21:44Z")
> [@Happy Lendervedder](#): > > Two times I can think of: > > 1. George thought his gf was vomiting up all the meals he was paying for. He burst into the restaurant bathroom when he heard wretching, with an “ah-HAA!” > > 2. The other time was when Jerry broke up with Shmoopy, and George was arguing that they had a pact (to get married) and that Jerry had renegged (sp?). Jerry said there was no pact, but then admitted to shaking George’s hand. George yelled “ah-HAA!” Yay **Happy Lendervedder**! You rule. Elaine: Is it possible that there’s more to Newman than we think? Jerry: No, there’s less. I’ve looked into his eyes. He’s pure evil. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/48 "2004-06-24T19:24:49Z")
“Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft. Sagman, Bennet, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taft…” - Jerry, trying to remember where a woman works. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/49 "2004-06-25T12:01:44Z")
George: “Oh, it’s got cache, baby. It’s got cache up the ying yang!” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/50 "2004-06-25T12:17:14Z")
Jerry: “She’s a sentence finisher. It’s like dating Mad Libs.” ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/51 "2004-06-25T12:28:01Z")
“A Festivus for the rest of us!” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/52 "2004-06-25T12:42:06Z")
Jerry: “When George was growing up, his father hated all the commercial and religious aspects of Christmas, so he made up his own holiday.” Elaine: “Oh. And another piece of the puzzle falls into place.” ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/53 "2004-06-25T12:42:50Z")
re: Festivus Frank: “No one’s leaving until you pin me.” Estelle: "I think you can get him this year, Georgie! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/54 "2004-06-25T12:44:05Z")
Frank: “Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.” Kramer: “What happened to the doll?” Frank: “It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born… A Festivus for the rest of us!” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/55 "2004-06-25T12:45:25Z")
More… Frank: “At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.” Kramer: “And is there a tree?” Frank: “No, instead, there’s a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.” Kramer: “Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.” ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/56 "2004-06-25T12:53:20Z")
**Bibliocat** , I am humbled. 😉 Banya: “_Puke._ Hey. That’s a funny word. Can I use that?” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/57 "2004-06-25T13:02:38Z")
Elaine: “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.” Jerry: “I don’t return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.” George: “I think it moved.” Jerry “What happened to your mental alarm?” Kramer: “I guess I hit the snooze.” Okay, I have to go get a life now… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/58 "2004-06-25T14:27:04Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Okay, I have to go get a life now… _Nooo._ If you do, then I’ll have to! 🆒 Elaine: Y’know, suddenly George is looking much more normal than you. Jerry: Really? Elaine: Sure, think about it. _He’s_ engaged to be married. _Your_ biggest priority is _soup._ ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/59 "2004-06-25T14:37:39Z")
Newman Cosmo? Bro! Manziere Gyro Jumbalaya Moops! Stella! Butros Butros Galhi Mulva? Delores! Snapple? ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830/60 "2004-06-25T14:46:12Z")
No, really, I have to go. Real life stuff. But I’ll be back later. Before I go, though, some words from George: George: “I want to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.” George: “Amazing! I drive them to lesbianism, and he brings 'em back!” George: “Just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.” 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-gold-jerry-gold/251830.md?page=4)