# It's good to be the King! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 20, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448 "2000-12-20T01:44:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/41 "2000-12-22T01:46:18Z")
And what shall we nameth this new Kingdom? Cecil Land? Adamsalot? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/42 "2000-12-22T02:13:25Z")
Time to dispense with the kingly-advice. \ Alrighty then, let’s see… The executioner issue shall be cleared up by **Gunslinger** and **andyman** sharing duties. **Gunslinger** will be in charge of political rivals, since they’re more fun to line up against a wall and shoot, and **andyman** will be head of the “General Mutilations” department, focusing on punishment of petty crimes. Good? Ok. The name of the land, in a stunning moment of compromise, shall be **Cecilot** , and I must thank the good subject Guin for reminding me that this land needs a name in the first place. Finally, **Spinnie** , I shall NOT go to a rave with you this weekend, since I really don’t feel like being surrounded by a bunch of people hepped up on goofballs, convulsing to a beat. I have better plans. Thus decries **JestOR** who is, by the way, tickled pink by **broccoli!**'s sig. ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/43 "2000-12-22T04:09:20Z")
Oh, like ruling a kingdom is more fun than dancing to noise that breaks your eardrums. ---
**Author:** ![andyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8491ac/32.png) [@andyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andyman)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/44 "2000-12-22T15:02:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*The executioner issue shall be cleared up by **Gunslinger** and **andyman** sharing duties. **Gunslinger** will be in charge of political rivals, since they’re more fun to line up against a wall and shoot, and **andyman** will be head of the “General Mutilations” department, focusing on punishment of petty crimes. Good? Ok. > \*\* Sounds good! ::bows before **JestOR** and his just wisdom:: ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/45 "2000-12-22T19:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpinneZiege \* > \*\*Oh, like ruling a kingdom is more fun than dancing to noise that breaks your eardrums. \*\* Obviously! When you rule a kingdom, you get all the concubines you can screw- and then some. Plus a neat scepter that you can wave at people. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/46 "2000-12-23T16:38:26Z")
Candy ravers and glo sticks. Same difference. ---
**Author:** ![Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goose)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/47 "2000-12-23T23:35:06Z")
Neeeeet!!! Can I be Secretary of the DoS? Department of Shrubery. Or maybe I could be the Ambassador to a Dwarven Kingdom to the east? ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/48 "2000-12-23T23:46:24Z")
I’d like to be on of the guards that stands on the roof of the castle…like a lookout. I’ll even have a French accent and teach all future guards how to launch farm animals at invaders. And I’ll practice insults like “you son of a silly person!” Please? ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/49 "2000-12-23T23:48:35Z")
Sigh. Okay, I’ll be a concubine, since no one’s offered. But I’m going to be the fiery foreign one that tells you to p\*\*\* off whenever you call for me, okay? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/50 "2000-12-23T23:57:21Z")
I’ll be the lady fair who sneaks around doing things no proper lady fair ever would, but is never suspected because I am a lady fair. My specific sneakings will be determined at a later date, although many of them may have to do with the Political Rival Executioner’s room, late nights, and being dishevelled. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/51 "2000-12-23T23:57:54Z")
Nocturne, I believe THAT would be a sentry. As a duchess, I want some male concubines. I will go through men shamelessly, until I find the one who can tame me…ala Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/52 "2000-12-24T00:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*Sigh. > > Okay, I’ll be a concubine, since no one’s offered. > > But I’m going to be the fiery foreign one that tells you to p\*\*\* off whenever you call for me, okay? 😉 \*\* Alas, it seems that I still cannot obtain the beautiful Persephone, even when her only job is to have sex with me. Nuts. I’ll be in my chambers, if anybody needs me. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/53 "2000-12-24T00:15:45Z")
Jester, I’m your _concubine,_ and you are the KING. Just because I _tell_ you to p\*\*\* off doesn’t mean you actually _have_ to, remember? Duh! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/54 "2000-12-24T02:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*As a duchess, I want some male concubines. I will go through men shamelessly, until I find the one who can tame me…ala Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara. > \*\* You’re not the only one who needs male concubines. Come on, sexy men of the Straight Dope Message Board- I’m convinced that Jester is in dire need of guys to satiate his…I’ll say back door, longings. So come on, Esprix, Aha, Wildest Bill. 🙂 I feel evil. So do we have everything for your castle yet, King Jestor? ---
**Author:** ![Erika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/47e85d/32.png) [@Erika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erika)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/55 "2000-12-24T02:57:00Z")
Ooh! Can I be a beautiful, but secretly evil and scheming, princess? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/56 "2000-12-24T03:14:55Z")
Gawd. We have so many beautiful princesses. How come there are no mediocre looking ones? Or princesses with disfiguring smallpox scars, or something? Beauty is so overrated… ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/57 "2000-12-24T03:47:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Nocturne, I believe THAT would be a sentry. > > As a duchess, I want some male concubines. I will go through men shamelessly, until I find the one who can tame me…ala Rhett Butler and Scarlett O’Hara. > \*\* **::Kick down door, stomp into room::** Well, I’ll damn well come in!! woops, sorry. Ahem. I am skilled in the arts of war, and am turning out to be a fairly decent medieval tactician. I’m also familiar enough with both to incorporate the modern elements into your army. I don’t need much, just a small fief… a few hundred hectares… Barring that, I can do the herald thing. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/58 "2000-12-24T04:54:29Z")
Tristan…if you’re certain you wouldn’t rather be a male concubine instead? Yes I post to this thread way too much. Deal with it. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/59 "2000-12-24T06:00:17Z")
Nope, thanks, I declined the… _ahem_ position of advisor when offered, and am now avoiding all windows in high towers… but thanks anyhow… I just don’t think you’re my type… ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448/60 "2000-12-24T06:08:43Z")
Yes! Sentry! That’s it! I’ll be a sentry! Can I please be a sentry, O Mighty Jester? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-good-to-be-the-king/46448.md?page=4)