# It's illegal in my state, but ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 22, 2015, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449 "2015-10-22T12:46:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/41 "2015-10-22T21:37:03Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just in case you swing that way, sex with corpses is legal in Wisconsin. What if it’s the corpse of your first cousin? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/42 "2015-10-22T21:38:12Z")
> [@Mr.Nylock](#): > > What if it’s the corpse of your first cousin? That would be wrong, unless she was an adult when she died. ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/43 "2015-10-22T22:32:35Z")
The age difference doesn’t freak me out. Serious maturity difference raises internal alarms if it existed. For personal morality I have issues with manipulating those who’s ability to make sound decisions may be affected by immaturity. Age is a pretty poor proxy for that anyway. I get that closeness of blood relation doesn’t necessarily come with family type relationships. If this were crossing those lines I’d have ick factor along with some moral questions about manipulating that relationship. It doesn’t sound like that’s the case here. Mostly I see two potentially consenting adults who can make up their own damn minds. > [@Loach](#): > > Come to New Jersey. Incest is legal! He doesn’t need to. Cousin fucking looks like it is [legal](http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=9A.64.020) in Washington. You just can’t marry them. As long as you aren’t “an ancestor, descendant, brother, or sister of either the whole or the half blood” it looks like no felony charges are coming. IANAL and didn’t look for more than 30 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/44 "2015-10-22T22:49:12Z")
Aren’t you the guy who had a years-long crush on a married woman whose husband was in the military? If so, I think asking why you’re only attracted to women you can’t (or shouldn’t) have is the more important question. My apologies if I have you mixed up with someone else, but I’m 95% sure you’re the guy. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/45 "2015-10-22T22:59:25Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just in case you swing that way, sex with corpses is legal in Wisconsin. After Ed Gein [Ed Gein - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Gein) you guys still didn’t change the law??? Wow. Slow learners I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2015, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/46 "2015-10-22T23:30:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Dude, just fucking stop. Seriously. > [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > My advice, stop fostering it You must not be familiar with the OP, fostering weird, unobtainable fantasies is kinda his thing. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/47 "2015-10-23T00:30:56Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just in case you swing that way, sex with corpses is legal in Wisconsin. If she’s only 16, do you have to keep her in the refrigerator for 2 years before mating with her? ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/48 "2015-10-23T00:49:07Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Yet, if he had not clarified that someone surely would have asked, or worse yet, assumed she was not an adult. Maybe, maybe not but there are less creepy ways to say it. Like stating both of their ages for example. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/49 "2015-10-23T01:37:03Z")
It’s not just that he has these fantasies – he keeps having to post about them. Often in detail. _shudder_ > [@Slash1972](#): > > Sounds like judging to me. Again, calling someone beautiful is “talking…like she was a tasty piece of meat”? He didn’t just say, “she’s beautiful”, he said, “she is so, so beautiful”, which sounded like he was drooling. He also stated that she’s young enough to be his daughter. (Later clarifying though, that she is legally an adult, though). A woman doesn’t want to think about an older relative gushing over her like that. The fact that he mentioned legalities about having sex with her too also made it creepy. If you can’t understand why a woman might be uncomfortable with that, I can’t help you. ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/50 "2015-10-23T02:03:20Z")
If i had a first cousin who was 20 years my senior, i personally would have mentally recast his relationship as more akin to “uncle.” How would you feel about an uncle hitting on you? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/51 "2015-10-23T02:12:57Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > He didn’t just say, “she’s beautiful”, he said, “she is so, so beautiful”, which sounded like he was drooling. He also stated that she’s young enough to be his daughter. (Later clarifying though, that she is legally an adult, though) I have a sister who married a man old enough to be her father. In fact, his oldest child from a prior marriage is just a year younger than she is. Granted, the marriage didn’t last forever, but it did last over 20 years and produce two children. I get that it can generate heebee-geebees because the extended family had its share of heebee’ing and geebee’ing a couple decades ago. There’s a lot of reasons to raise caution flags, but it’s not always an incipient disaster when there is an age disparity like that. Likewise, the whole first-cousin thing can be problematic, but that’s not always a disaster, either. I wouldn’t recommend such a relationship, and there are probably a lot of plusses to the OP not pursuing it, but if the other party expresses interest (not saying she has or hasn’t, I simply don’t have that information) then there may be a mutual attraction. Or maybe the OP is some kind of perv after all. I don’t really know. I’m trying to keep an open mind here. Even if he has a record of expressing skeevy fantasies, if having such an outlet here helps keep him from acting skeevy in the real world I’m OK with that. Then again, who knows for sure? ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/52 "2015-10-23T03:52:32Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > Aren’t you the guy who had a years-long crush on a married woman whose husband was in the military? If so, I think asking why you’re only attracted to women you can’t (or shouldn’t) have is the more important question. My apologies if I have you mixed up with someone else, but I’m 95% sure you’re the guy. Yeah, that was me (though she’s not married yet), and posting here about it successfully got it out of my system. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Even if he has a record of expressing skeevy fantasies, if having such an outlet here helps keep him from acting skeevy in the real world I’m OK with that. As above, posting about these things is mainly a way of just getting it off my chest. I suppose I could try FetLife instead, but those folks don’t know me like y’all know me here, and honestly, I think the odds of “getting talked out of it” or at least being told how dumb my ideas are better here than they would be there. Nevertheless, suppose I should have just kept this one to myself. I think my insomnia is affecting my judgment. At least in this instance, this isn’t something I’ve been carrying around for a long time. It was a dumb idea that found its way into my head a couple weeks ago and wouldn’t go away. ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/53 "2015-10-23T03:55:31Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > I have a sister who married a man old enough to be her father. In fact, his oldest child from a prior marriage is just a year younger than she is. > > Granted, the marriage didn’t last forever, but it did last over 20 years and produce two children. I get that it can generate heebee-geebees because the extended family had its share of heebee’ing and geebee’ing a couple decades ago. There’s a lot of reasons to raise caution flags, but it’s not always an incipient disaster when there is an age disparity like that. Wonderful. That’s great that your sister found a bit of happiness with this older gentleman. This is in no way analogous to the OP’s situation. There is no evidence whatsoever that the young woman in question is interested in a romantic relationship with her old cousin. This is all about the OP’s (unfulfilled) fantasies. > [@](#): > > Likewise, the whole first-cousin thing can be problematic, but that’s not always a disaster, either. > > I wouldn’t recommend such a relationship, and there are probably a lot of plusses to the OP not pursuing it, but if the other party expresses interest (not saying she has or hasn’t, I simply don’t have that information) then there may be a mutual attraction. Or maybe the OP is some kind of perv after all. I don’t really know. I’m trying to keep an open mind here. That’s nice that you’re trying to keep an open mind, but the OP is lamenting the fact that it could be illegal to have sex with his cousin. Not that she is interested in him and he is interested in her and that they could run afoul of the law - it’s all about his lust for her. Her feelings are of no import to the OP. That’s the creepy part. > [@](#): > > Even if he has a record of expressing skeevy fantasies, if having such an outlet here helps keep him from acting skeevy in the real world I’m OK with that. Then again, who knows for sure? Yeah, he kinda does. There’s also a young lady at his church that he’s “been attracted to” since she was a child. I don’t know where the hell you get the idea that allowing him to post about such fantasies automatically ensures he’ll not act out on them, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/54 "2015-10-23T04:06:30Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just in case you swing that way, sex with corpses is legal in Wisconsin. Necrophelia is illegal in Wisconsin. [Wisconsin Legislature: 940.225](http://docs.legis.wisconsin.gov/statutes/statutes/940/II/225) > [@](#): > > Wisconsin Statute 940.225  Sexual assault. > . . . > (3) THIRD DEGREE SEXUAL ASSAULT. Whoever has sexual intercourse with a person without the consent of that person is guilty of a Class G felony. Whoever has sexual contact in the manner described in sub. (5) (b) 2. or 3. with a person without the consent of that person is guilty of a Class G felony. > . . . > (7) DEATH OF VICTIM. This section applies whether a victim is dead or alive at the time of the sexual contact or sexual intercourse. In 2006, three young bucks tried to dig up a young woman for, well, you know . . . . They were caught before they could get into her casket. Two of them were charged with third degree sexual assault. The court of first instance dismissed the charges by interpreting 940.225 (7) as only applying to murder-rape matters, rather than necrophilia alone (the distinction being between an assault on a living person that ended with death and rape, verses an assault on an already most assuredly previously dead person. In 2008, the Court of Appeal overturned the lower court, in a mixed decision written by the judge who is now the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Wisconsin, reasoning that dead bodies cannot give consent, and the statute specifically covers sexual assault whether the person is dead or alive. Charges were reinstated, and last year (2014) the two men with stiffies were convicted of trying to sexually assault a stiff. So let that be a warning for you budding necrophiles. Be sure to bring a spiritual medium along with you to get consent from your dead darling before you do the sick foot deep dirty deed. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/55 "2015-10-23T04:14:25Z")
> [@Mister\_Rik](#): > > I suppose I could try FetLife instead They have a Cousin Fuckers/Lovers group and a Cousins/Step Siblings group, if you’re into being really skeevy. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/56 "2015-10-23T12:10:18Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > He doesn’t need to. Cousin fucking looks like it is [legal](http://app.leg.wa.gov/rcw/default.aspx?cite=9A.64.020) in Washington. You just can’t marry them. As long as you aren’t “an ancestor, descendant, brother, or sister of either the whole or the half blood” it looks like no felony charges are coming. IANAL and didn’t look for more than 30 seconds. Well in New Jersey all incest is legal. It just bumps the age of consent to 18. You can marry your 1st cousin but not a closer relative. Other than marriage everything else is fair game. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/57 "2015-10-23T12:29:56Z")
> [@splatterpunk](#): > > Wonderful. That’s great that your sister found a bit of happiness with this older gentleman. This is in no way analogous to the OP’s situation. There is no evidence whatsoever that the young woman in question is interested in a romantic relationship with her old cousin. Since she has not posted here we have no idea what she is thinking or not thinking about. Yes, it’s one-sided, that’s because we’re only hearing one side. > [@](#): > > This is all about the OP’s (unfulfilled) fantasies. If they’re unfilled why are you seemingly so upset? Lots of people have fantasies some other people would consider perverted. It’s not a crime to _think_ something. > [@](#): > > That’s nice that you’re trying to keep an open mind, but the OP is lamenting the fact that it could be illegal to have sex with his cousin. I’m old enough to remember when homosexual sex was illegal in a lot of places in the US and can recall people lamenting about that. When our current president was born some states still considered his parents marriage illegal. Your point is…? My standards for whether a sex is OK or not is 1) everyone is adult 2) everyone is consenting and 3) no one gets hurt. Not that that is entirely relevant since, as far we know, all of this has so far taken place solely between the ears of the OP. He’s free to _think_ what he wants. How he _acts_ is a different matter, but apparently he hasn’t acted on these feelings at all. So I’m not quite getting the outrage here. > [@](#): > > Not that she is interested in him and he is interested in her and that they could run afoul of the law - it’s all about his lust for her. Her feelings are of no import to the OP. > > That’s the creepy part. What are you saying? Before a person _fantasizes_ about another person they have to get the other person’s consent? I gather he hasn’t approach his cousin about any of this. If he has concerns about the law maybe it’s better he hasn’t. Again, as far as I know he hasn’t _done_ anything other than think about something and post anonymously on a message board. > [@](#): > > Yeah, he kinda does. There’s also a young lady at his church that he’s “been attracted to” since she was a child. > > I don’t know where the hell you get the idea that allowing him to post about such fantasies automatically ensures he’ll not act out on them, but whatever. I didn’t say anything about “automatically”, why are you reading things into my post I never wrote? I said IF. You see, unlike (apparently) some people around here I don’t keep dossiers on other posters, and unlike you I don’t have prior knowledge of the OP’s fantasy history. If it is all just in his head, though, I’m not worried about it. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/58 "2015-10-23T13:20:28Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > It’s not just that he has these fantasies – he keeps having to post about them. Often in detail. _shudder_ > > He didn’t just say, “she’s beautiful”, he said, “she is so, so beautiful”, which sounded like he was drooling. He also stated that she’s young enough to be his daughter. (Later clarifying though, that she is legally an adult, though). A woman doesn’t want to think about an older relative gushing over her like that. The fact that he mentioned legalities about having sex with her too also made it creepy. > > If you can’t understand why a woman might be uncomfortable with that, I can’t help you. Well, if this thread was “Do you think she would feel uncomfortable with me professing my feelings” then I would agree with you. But it’s not. You seem to have some serious issues if you read “she is so, so beautiful” as drooling. And if you feel an older guy shouldn’t think younger women are beautiful. He is an adult, and he is describing his feelings about another adult. If you have hang-ups with the specifics, then that is your problem. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/59 "2015-10-23T23:57:22Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Two consenting adults, sure. What makes you think the cousin is happy being ogled? Has she complained? Or, is it just that she feels ‘pressured’ not to complain??? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2015, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449/60 "2015-10-24T01:52:57Z")
We don’t even know if she knows about the OP’s feelings. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/its-illegal-in-my-state-but/735449.md?page=4)